Chapter
A woman who does not yet call herself Pussy Sludge (but who soon will) comes home from work, corporate formalwear, spiritually tired. Getting more comfortable, sheâs in just a big tee shirt in front of her mirror. The sounds of a highway not too far off. She is practicing being wonderful.
Pussy SludgeMe? Iâm not.
She turns her back on the mirror and spins around, trying to seduce the mirror, getting freaky with it but in a way that doesnât turn the mirror on. She knows the mirror is mostly like, âPlease donât hurt me.â
Pussy SludgeWhat? Me? Iâm . . . Who, me? Iâm. No, no. Youâre thinking of someone else. . . Did you think I was? . . . No! No. Iâm âflatteredâ but no. . . No really. Iâm not.
She suddenly raises her hackles and barks like a huge, rabid dog.
Play room mix.
âBecause the Nightâ comes on. If she were someone else sheâd be smoking pot right now. For a brief moment, she furiously masturbates just because she likes the song so much, and it launches her into a dance.
The song splinters. The light splinters. She loses time. Two years. We watch her fall into oblivion:
Her apartment becomes a swamp on a moonless night. Vines wrap and twine and sludge is everywhere. The song ends to thick and total darkness, the sounds of the swamp, croaks and creaks and buzzing.
She hit rock bottom, and never bounced back.
An electric lantern in the darkness swings around. The sound of feet making their way into the swamp. The woman who is now Pussy Sludge is masturbating furiously in the dark.
Pussy SludgeIs someone there? Please donât scare me. Tell me youâre there.
Rachel squelches into the swamp, unseen. Shines a light on Pussy Sludgeâs face.
RachelHoney, will you please quit touchinâ yerself?
Pussy SludgeMom!
Rachel (squelching off)Youâll put that thing out of order.
The lantern swings into the distance. The sounds of the swamp rise and fall. Then, from the dark:
CourtneyI do that too.
Pussy SludgeWhat?
CourtneyItâs not touching myself. Itâs just comforting to put my hand over my vulva and just, cup it.
Pussy SludgeOh no, Iâm actually mastubating. I do it constantly. Itâs not good.
Pause.
CourtneyOkay.
Pause.
Pussy SludgeHave you ever done that?
CourtneyIn public?
Pussy SludgeYeah.
Beat.
CourtneyOnly when I was in mourning.
Beat.
Pussy SludgeIâm sorry.
CourtneyI did it all the time. Iâm pretty sure no one had any clue what I was doing. It was usually when I was wearing a long coat. Iâd put my hands in the pockets. I could get away with a fair range of motion without it being noticeable.
Pause.
Pussy SludgeWere you scared? Someone would realize?
CourtneyI think that made it better. Iâve never come as hard as when I was wearing those long coats.
Pause.
Pussy SludgeDoes that make you sad?
CourtneyItâs just a fact. Facts donât make me sad.
Beat.
Pussy SludgeWho were you mourning?
CourtneyIt doesnât matter.
Pussy SludgeIt doesnât?
CourtneyWhat if I said it was a dog?
Pussy SludgeThat would be sad.
CourtneyWhat if I said it was my husband?
Pussy SludgeThat would be sad too.
CourtneySo it doesnât really matter.
Beat.
Pussy SludgeIâve never been in mourning.
CourtneyItâs good.
Pussy SludgeReally?
CourtneyYeah. It ends. And thatâs the best part.
Beat.
Pussy SludgeIâve never been in mourning. I wish I had.
CourtneyWhy?
Pussy SludgeI feel like it builds character.
CourtneyYouâre stupid.
Pussy SludgeNo no, Iâm adorable.
Beat.
CourtneyWhatâs your name?
Pussy SludgePussy Sludge.
Beat.
CourtneyWhy are you here?
Pussy SludgeI live here.
CourtneyThis is a swamp. How did you get here?
Pussy SludgeI donât know. I was in my roomâand then . . .
Pause.
CourtneyI have to go.
Pussy SludgeWhere?
CourtneyPilates.
Pause.
Pussy SludgeWas it your hus...