Old School Success for the Millennial Generation & Beyond

Wisdom from the Past for Your Best Future

Jerry Gladstone

• Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
• Year: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781642799149
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

In this new era of uncertainty, we as humans are challenged like never before—as a society we need to help each other rise to greatness.

Old School Success for the Millennial Generation & Beyond goes against the so-called experts who say millennials are lazy and entitled and have labeled them "Generation Me".

Do millennial's need some good "old school" advice? Absolutely. Would they benefit from social, financial, business, and life skills they were not taught in school? Definitely. This is what Old School Success for the Millennial Generation & Beyond offers. Old school wisdom to the new generation. The inspiring stories found within are provided by Academy Award and Grammy winners, Super Bowl champions, music icons, Olympians, UFC champions, and billionaires.

CHAPTER 1

Kick the Crap Out of Your Anxiety and Fear

We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.

—JIM MORRISON

Millennials suffer more anxiety and stress than previous generations. Life has grown more hectic; ubiquitous smartphones mean we are never off the clock or safe from criticism. Social media makes it all too easy to compare yourself to others’ accomplishments, possessions, and experiences—and come up lacking. Are you sick and tired of the comparison, of wondering how good you can be and fearing you’ll never measure up? Has self-doubt, anxiety, or fear prevented you from reaching your goals? I hope you’re finally mad enough to put actions behind your desires.

I’ve been lucky. Over a twenty-five-year business career, I’ve had the opportunity to sit with some of the most successful people in the world: Olympians, Academy Award winners, Super Bowl champs, big time CEOs, spiritual gurus, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame legends, and billionaires. And here’s something they all agreed on. When I asked a very simple question, “Why do some people succeed while others do not?” they all answered, fear, fear, and fear.

Here’s what I can tell you. Anxiety and insecurity are at the root of fear—and these emotions are amplified by tweets, posts, and Instagram stories. It’s easy to be eaten alive by a constant worry that you don’t have what it takes when you compare yourself to perceived competitors or the influencers you follow.

Let’s consider the many ways fear and anxiety can control your life. Your primary fear might be fear of failure, but much is contained within that concept: fear of embarrassment; fear of rejection; fear of being misunderstood; fear of being judged harshly. We fear the unknown, change, and physical pain. Our list of justifiable fears can seem endless at times. The agonizing anticipation of what may happen can be unbearable!

At times, you likely fall into the trap of assuming the worst-case scenario will play out. So, you procrastinate, stand still, and get stuck focusing on the “what ifs.” While you wallow in doubt, your dreams are just that: unrealized dreams. Let me share the cold, hard truth: anxiety and stress are both rooted in fear, and how you handle fear will directly impact your quality of life and whether you will achieve all you desire.

Anxiety and stress are both rooted in fear, and how you handle fear will directly impact your quality of life and whether you will achieve all you desire.

Fear Is Your Bully

Let’s begin by conceptualizing fear. Instead of allowing fear to be an unconquerable bully, think of it as an emotion that exists only in your mind, a feeling that can be quelled. Beyond your fears await the opportunities you seek. So, what must you do? Stop dwelling on your past negative experiences and stop anticipating future failure. In other words, stop being defeated by “if only” and “what if.” Instead, work proactively to get the outcome you desire. If you find yourself saying, “I’m not good enough,” please understand, no matter your age or stage of life, you have the power to change. Chances are, if you are not where you want to be, then you have not created a can-do lifestyle that facilitates achievement and success. And, fear is likely at the bottom of it all.

Stop dwelling on your past negative experiences and stop anticipating future failure.

Punched and Punched and Punched Some More

I didn’t start boxing until I was in my early twenties. As a street fighter, I was pretty good, but being in the ring was foreign to me. My anxiety of facing off against another person got the best of me. I was in really good physical shape; I remember a particular sparring match only one week after I ran a full marathon (26.2 miles). Before I even stepped into the ring, I was tired. I was nervous. I had the jitters. Being both exhausted and anxious put me on the verge of a panic attack. Not a great way to start a match.

An old-school boxing trainer told me he could help. Pete Brodsky, who was inducted into the New York State Boxing Hall of Fame in 2018, told me, “Get in the ring, put up your hands, and just defend yourself. Don’t punch back.” He put me in the ring with the New York State Heavyweight Golden Gloves Champion. The man blasted my head and body with punches that came fast and furious.

After the first round, I was shaken and dizzy. The trainer came over with a smile and said, “See? You got through it. There’s nothing to fear now, so go have some fun.” This experience was a tough way for me to learn his point, but he was right. Each time I entered the ring during this match, I was more and more confident and relaxed. It’s a principle I’ve learned to apply to other areas too: get in the ring, hang in, and it will get easier.

Use Your Imagination to Destroy Fear

In this chapter, I present two strategies for overcoming fear and anxiety. Both approaches have worked miracles for countless clients I’ve coached. For the first exercise, you must use your imagination, but if you fully enter in, it can be a very powerful tool to propel you forward. My second strategy will be a more direct, old-school approach. I personally use both techniques, and each has given me a great advantage when competing in martial arts or giving a keynote speech. I will also tell you how one of these strategies was used against me.

Strategy 1: The Wolf at Your Door

A friend once gave me some highlights on what Teddy Atlas Jr. said to motivate his fighters. Teddy is perhaps best known for training Mike Tyson. Tyson was the youngest boxer to win the heavyweight title at twenty years of age. He won his first nineteen professional fights by knockout or stoppage, twelve of them in the first round. Tyson is the first heavyweight boxer to simultaneously hold the WBA, WBC, and IBF championships.

I found it easy to put my own spin on Teddy’s tactics and used his concept to coach many of my clients. You may be surprised by what I will tell you, but I want you to trust and hear me out. You are not to blame for the fear or anxiety you feel. What? That’s right. Fear and anxiety aren’t part of your identity; they are a separate enemy. Let me explain why and how you can use your imagination to separate yourself from these toxic emotions.

You are not to blame for the fear or anxiety you feel.

First, take a deep breath and prepare to use your imagination for your advantage. Next, tell yourself, “Fear and anxiety are not my fault.” Now, create in your mind an enemy that is responsible for your fear.

Here’s what I do. I tell myself there is a wolf (my created image of my enemy) at my front door, trying to come in and cause havoc in my life. This wolf is trying to destroy me and is going after my family. He wants to take away all my hard work and make me an emotional wreck. This wolf wants me to suffer, so he reminds me of my past failures. He is a slick liar and wants to convince me I am not good enough and can never achieve my plans or dreams. He is determined to keep me locked in insecurity. His goal is to derail me and my goals and replace my optimism with fear and anxiety.

But now that I see the wolf clearly and fully understand he is my enemy, I can spot his strategies. I can realize he is using my emotions against me. He—not me—is to blame for the fear and emotional duress pulsing through my body. But now I see him for what he is. Now, I can fight back. Now you can fight back!

Create Your Wolf

Remember, the wolf is strong and cunning. He has taken you down before, and he wants to do it again—as many times as you will allow.

This is your task: create your own wolf, something you can fight. Use your imagination to create a complete persona for the wolf, an image you can see, smell, and sense right in front of you. The enemy you design is unique to you. I chose a wolf because of the years I spent working as a bouncer. I could easily envision a “wolf” coming through the front door looking for a fight.

Remember, the wolf is strong and cunning. He has taken you down before, and he wants to do it again—as many times as you will allow. So, follow my steps to write about your wolf and make him as lifelike and vivid as possible. Then, he will be easy to spot and defeat.

First Step

• a.Get out two sheets of paper. On one, write the emotions you feel when you are stressed or fearful (i.e., nervous, angry, sad, self-critical, scared, overwhelmed, worthless, conflicted, disgusted, or jittery).
• b.Next, write about a time you’ve felt defeated by your stressed and fearful thoughts. Get yourself worked up and pissed that you had to feel this pain and suffer these emotions.
• c.Now, tell yourself, “It’s not my fault; an enemy is out there trying to take me down.”
• d.Begin to visualize your wolf, your enemy.

Second Step

• a.On another piece of paper, draw your enemy. Don’t judge your artistry; just draw. I’ve seen clients draw in detail while others just pressed down forcefully with their pencil and—boom—they had an image in their mind, an image they could see and feel. Whatever your technique, don’t stop until you have an image you can grab hold of and declare as your enemy. You need to see, smell, and feel the enemy you created.
• b.Next, get mad. Focus on the image until you fully believe this is what is trying to destroy you.
• c.Now, embed that image within your conscience.
• d.Fight back against your enemy.

I have clients who keep the drawing in their pocket 24/7 to remind them to fight for what they want. Some put it on the refrigerator or car dashboard; some use if for their home screen. Many can describe their enemy as if it were a living thing. Overall, all clients feel empowered by this exercise when they choose to fully commit and give their all to making a change.

When should you pull out this paper or conjure your wolf in your mind? Remember this enemy when you feel:

• •Insecure
• •Stressed
• •Fearful
• •Anxious
• •Unmotivated
• •Depressed
• •Any negative emotion that undermines your forward motion

Make these declarations to your wolf:

• •“No way am I going to let you or anyone else define who I am!”
• •“I will not let you lie to me or tell me I am not good enough, tough enough, or smart enough!”
• •“I will no longer feed you with negative emotions and allow you to gain strength!”
• •“I am stronger than my fear!”

Try this exercise alone first. If you are unable to get the results you want, go through this exercise with a trusted friend. But remember, the wolf is an opportunist and will find you when you are weak. The wolf will creep into your life when you least expect it. Do not feed the wolf your self-doubt, fear, or anxiety. He will only grow bigger and more powerful. Fight the wolf because he is the force trying to destroy you.

Strategy 2: Prepare to Be Perfect

Let me begin by saying, I do not believe—nor should you—that some of u...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Table of Contents
• Foreword
• Preface
• Chapter 1: Kick the Crap Out of Your Anxiety and Fear
• Chapter 2: Establish a Winning Mindset
• Chapter 3: Quitting—and How It Happens
• Chapter 4: Your Past Isn’t You
• Chapter 5: Setting Your Goals: Milestones and Objectives
• Chapter 6: Stop the Loneliness Social Media Brings
• Chapter 7: People Skills in a Technology-Driven Society
• Chapter 8: The Ultimate Gift to Yourself
• Chapter 9: Building Your First Business
• Conclusion: You’re More Than a Millennial—Much More
• About the Author