F*ck You Pay Me

Joana Nastari

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9781786827456
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Economía
• Subtopic: Economía laboral

An evening of shameless entertainment,
of divine feminine fury.
A burial of preconceptions,
a night of Sex-Witch Anarchy. Featuring a live score and nightly special guests, Joana Nastari's award-winning debut F*ck You Pay Me is a love letter to strippers and a surreal collision of comedy, poetry and live music exploring power, money and sisterhood.

Anonymous Testimony 1

I’m a full service sex worker; I meet clients in person and exchange sex for money. Some aspects of my work are considered legally “grey” and many things that make my job safer are criminalised, such as working with other sex workers.

Never tell others that someone is a sex worker, even if they seem open about it. Being out carries risks not everyone can afford to take.

Don’t assume you know why I’m a sex worker.

Treat my job like a job. Having a bad day at work, or even disliking it sometimes, doesn’t mean I want to stop doing it.

Treat me like a person. I’m not my job, inherently a victim, or some titillating anecdote to tell your friends about.

Stand up for sex workers and fight stigma, even when we aren’t there. Keep pushing our voices to the forefront of conversions about our rights.

Educate yourself. Google “How to be a good ally to sex workers” and read up.

Anonymous, cis woman, 27, London

Anonymous Testimony 2

I became a sex-worker ally when my daughter informed me she was intending to work for an escort agency. She was about to become a student and wanted to boost her income. I had heard of students doing sex work and understood it as a financial transaction for women who were confident about dealing with men and needed to make money quickly and, to some extent, efficiently.

But when my own daughter told me she was about to enter this particular world of work I was filled with fear and, initially, shame. We began to discuss all aspects of the role, practical stuff like health checks, safety, what to do in an emergency, how she might deal with difficult clients. All this went some way to reassuring me that, like any job involving risks, these could be dealt with through working out ‘safeguards’: I saw myself as one of her safeguards – I was her ally as she entered a workspace where she relied completely on her people skills, experience and intuition.

We agreed that I would be her driver as I didn’t want her to rely on taxis – in our neck of the woods taxis have had a lot of bad press – and she didn’t drive. It helped that I was in zero-hours work so I had plenty flexibility, although many times I’ve sat in the car waiting for the end of a booking, only for her to tell me it’s been extended. We agreed that she would pay me mileage, with ‘double-time’ for night-time journeys. Being her driver meant I knew where she was and, if I didn’t feel comfortable I could stay near, parked discreetly but close-by, so I was ready as soon as she finished a job. This worked well, only once was I asked by police why I was waiting: I was able to tell them the truth-I was waiting for my daughter to finish work! She was lucky that she didn’t experience danger but I was quite prepared to call the police if she had. My daughter’s health and wellbeing were and are so important to me as her mum – we discussed health checks and she attended the local sex-workers health drop-in. Eventually I met some of the workers from this agency and grew to like, trust and respect their honesty and expertise. They welcomed me as my daughter’s ally and we had some great discussions about decriminalisation and the politics of sex-work. I met some of the women too and was impressed with how they provided support to each-other in some really thoughtful and powerful ways. I began to see sex-work differently: as a true profession of front-line service-providers, almost an extension of social care… (I can hear you gasp at that!)

I was aware that on busy days, my daughter needed to rest-up, be looked after a bit: these times gave a whole new meaning to a ‘de-brief’! She shared with me some of her experiences, not the nitty-gritty sex bits (that would have been going too far) but the stuff about client behaviours, in particular we were both interested in certain ‘types’ of client and we had some great chats about why certain men use sex-workers. We were both moved by some of her stories about men who would probably not otherwise have been able to have relationships. Some of her stories were hilarious – for example the 81 year-old regular client who kept his late wife’s picture by the bed! Mostly though, her work was routine and, to some extent, ‘boring’. These chats helped her assess how she was coping with the demands of the work, both bodily and emotionally and they were a darn sight more interesting than ‘how was your day at the office, darling?’…

Maybe you are shocked to find a mother who endorses her daughter’s sex-work? To you I would say the following: ‘Sex-work’ covers an enormous range of roles, and our experiences are just one small aspect: my daughter chose to enter the profession from a position of privilege; she was not driven into sex-work through poverty; she did not face many of the very real dangers that street-based sex-workers experience. These broader issues are why I have become involved in campaigning for the decriminalisation of sex-work and believe a Universal Basic Income could end the need for many women to be forced into sex-work.

I would encourage you to become an ally to a sex-worker, let them know you care for their wellbeing, that they, too, are women of worth – to use the Duchess of Sussex’s words: strong, brave and special. They are a vulnerable and criminalised group who need all the support they can get. By being an ally you can offer a woman practical support or a listening ear and maybe even open up the conversation about how to make sex-work safer.

Anonymous sex worker ally, 60, West Yorkshire

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Foreword
• Fuck You Pay Me
• From our Friends
• When Your Rent Is Due
• Paint Me Red
• Fantasies Come True
• You Think You Know Me
• Anonymous Testimony 1
• Anonymous Testimony 2
• How YOU Can Be a Sex Worker Ally
• From the Women’s Strike to the Red Feminist Horizon