You've Got This!

The 5 Self-Coaching Keys You Need to Live Boldly & Accomplish Anything

Will Matthews

• Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
• Year: 2016
• ISBN:
  9781683500537
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

"Delivers what we all need to develop a powerful success mindset. Read this book and break through to the life, business and results that you want most." —Jack Canfield, #1 New York Times –bestselling author Whether it is time to finally kick into a higher gear or simply time to reactivate and re-engage, the unique concepts in You've Got This! act as an accelerator for personal and business growth. This fun, impactful program for creating a fulfilling life takes a deep dive into five foundational elements: becoming grateful, being a warrior, mastering resiliency, reinventing yourself, and learning to trust and let go. "In this informed and insightful gem, Will Matthews inspires with wisdom and guides with specific tools to mentor extreme success. You've Got This! is both entertaining and an essential instruction manual for personal transformation." —David Krueger, MD, author of The Secret Language of Money "I have known Will Matthews for many years. It is exciting to learn that he has aggregated into his book so many of the powerful personal and professional development tools and techniques that he has implemented with corporate clients over the past thirteen years. Enjoy this great book and get more of the positive results that you desire." —Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk "If you are ready to make positive changes in your life that will last a lifetime, this is the book for you." —Jim Keller, owner of Next Level Sports Performance and former athletic trainer for the Denver Broncos "This book will help you build the mental and emotional strength you need to achieve the results you desire and deserve!" —Jairek Robbins, author of Live It!: Achieve Success by Living with Purpose

Chapter 1

Live Life Full Out

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

—Theodore Roosevelt

Right now, and in every second of every day, you have important choices that only you can make. You can play small or live large. You can settle or you can jump in with both feet. You can shrink back… or you can be a Warrior—brave, bold and courageous.

This book is, in large measure, a call to action, a call to become more—to really go for it and to live an outstanding life—to let go of all the BS, to be grateful for everything that’s already working in your life, and to commit to being resilient. To answer the call means you’ll be willing to go back to the drawing board from time to time, dump the old script and write a new one. During this process, you’ll connect or, perhaps reconnect, to the understanding that you are connected, protected, guided and loved and that all that’s really needed is to trust that the universe is, indeed, a friendly and safe place for you to experiment, explore your capabilities and grow. In addition, you will learn to be wise and strong enough to let go of that which no longer serves you.

The most exciting thing is that whatever choices you make, this universal energy that moves in and through each of us and connects us to each other and all things is compelled to support you. If you choose to live your life playing small, only small opportunities will show up for you. The great news is that (listen closely now) if you decide to go for it, to reach for your dreams, you will be supported. The universal connecting energy is only waiting for you to commit, and it will bring you big opportunities, phenomenal contacts at just the right time, and knowledge in the form of insight and intuition that will keep you moving toward the fulfillment of your dreams.

I know what you may be thinking… I can’t dream big… but yes, you can… and this book will show you how people are doing it. Will there be tough times and challenges that will show up when you play at a higher level? Of course there will be. That is just part of the process and will test your mettle.

This book is in your hands right now to give you the tools you need to stand strong on your journey, to master your emotions, your state of mind, your energy, your time—and most importantly, your future.

Not long ago, I was on a subway in New York where I overheard a conversation that I seem to hear a lot. A man and woman, both appearing to be in their mid-thirties, were expressing their frustrations with their career choices and how trapped they felt. I was amazed at their intensity as they detailed exactly what they hated about their jobs—the people they worked for, the commute into Manhattan, the mismatch of their daily tasks to their skills. What were they doing spending ten hours a day in something that was driving them that crazy? The doors opened and they both left the train, undoubtedly feeling that what they had to look forward to was ten thousand more days of this same soul-crushing experience.

By the way, if you hate your job, like the two people on the subway, you are not alone. According to Gallop’s 2013 “State of the American Workplace Report” in which 150,000 workers were polled, just 30% said they were engaged and inspired by their jobs. 30%??? When asked how they ended up in the occupation they had, many stated that it was “just the best deal I could find at the time.” WOW, the best deal that they could find at the time? Not exactly taking the reins. There is another way, though—a way that stems from a commitment to be deliberate and drive your own destiny. It involves thoughtful, committed change—the result of which is nothing short of amazing, transforming, and empowering.

This book was created to provide an easy-to-read, easy-to-use road map for mastering mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and interpersonal ways of approaching your life. This is about living full out and not being left out. We are left out when we stand on the sidelines and never step into the game because we are fearful. Human beings and computers operate in similar ways. Left unprotected, computers can become contaminated by malicious viruses that kill productivity and cause tremendous stress for their owners. These viruses transform a machine that’s engineered to run flawlessly and with clear purpose into a nightmare of lost productivity, frustration and disappointment.

Like computers, we come from the “factory” equipped to operate on purpose, effectively and successfully. As we grow and take on more and more information, we allow small but powerful changes to our operating system that affect our ability to perform at our best—or in some cases, to perform at all. We allow in and adopt a myriad of new “rules” in the form of beliefs about ourselves, our abilities, our value, our shortcomings, our good or bad fortune, our lot in life, what is possible for us… our destiny.

You’ve Got This! is an invitation to scan your hard drive and to take a good look at the rules you may have unknowingly embraced or at those that were installed by someone else in your life, or even society in general, all without your knowing it. This is especially true for the rules that are standing like walls between you and what you most want… and what you most want to experience. We are constantly building a case in support of our own set of rules. When we are faced with decisions, our rules dictate which path we choose. For the couple that I saw on the subway, their rules had actually derailed them from a path of passion, growth and authenticity and, instead, landed them in a place where they settled for “the best deal I could find at the time.” It is critical to know that a disempowering rule left unchallenged becomes a personal limit—a limit to growth, to contribution, to development, to satisfaction.

In the pages that follow, you will have the opportunity to explore five essential disciplines that, once understood and implemented, will not only guide you toward your own knowing that, no matter what you choose to achieve, you’ve got this!, but will also help you stay committed, resourceful and focused so that you will contribute and succeed full out. You will learn how to implement the 5 self-coaching keys you need to live boldly and accomplish anything.

During my career in professional development, I have been fortunate to witness profound life-changes. Let me give you an example of one of those. When Raj, a 45-year-old housewife, mother of two, and manager of the family business, came to me for coaching and guidance, she was at her wit’s end. She had allowed herself to be relegated to doing everything for everyone in her family—including all the cooking and cleaning, looking after the children, taking care of her aging parents, AND taking primary responsibility for the family business. Everyone else in the family seemed to have an excuse as to why they couldn’t pitch in and, frankly, did very little to help in any of these areas. She lived every day in overwhelm, resentment and stress. Understandably, she was afraid that her life was going to go by without her having any time or energy to pursue her own dreams. And she was also afraid that if she pushed back or said “no,” she would not be loved… and perhaps even rejected.

Through our work together, Raj found new strength and clarity, and today she is a new woman. She has, in fact, chased and captured her dream and is a successful Marketing Team Lead in a thriving marketing firm. While that alone is so great, even more beautiful is the fact that, instead of being rejected for saying “no” to what was clearly an unfair set of expectations, she is respected and admired even more by her parents, husband and children. Raj finally got it!

What are you saying “Yes” to that you now need to say “No” to?

Greg is another example. When we met, he was a 35-year-old financial advisor who had achieved exceptional success in his field, but he had begun to feel that each sales call was painful because it felt so pushy and required him to be someone that he, frankly, didn’t like very much. Finally, in the middle of one of his meetings with a prospective client, a meeting that seemed to be going nowhere, Greg stopped the conversation and said, “You know what, I feel like I am trying to talk you into something, and I don’t want to feel that way. If it’s okay with you, let’s just start over human-to-human, not salesperson-to-prospect. What, if anything, are you interested in hearing about the financial services that we offer?”

The two rebooted their conversation and went on to talk about the prospect’s concerns regarding his family’s financial security. It had seemed like just another sales call. But for Greg, it was the beginning of a complete transformation—a whole new way of approaching his business. Almost spontaneously, he found himself listening with a completely new purpose. Having experienced how incredibly good it felt to drop the facade and simply show up authentically as himself, Greg made that his way of being in every meeting… and subsequently found his sales meetings to be fun and much more satisfying. As a result, he became massively successful and became a top producer in his office. Greg finally got it! He identified self-imposed, stale rules, made changes, and installed new, powerful rules that worked for him.

Susan was crushin’ it in her job as a sales manager for a telecommunications company. Quarter in and quarter out, her sales numbers always ranked within the top two out of the forty-three sales teams around the country. Her bonuses were significant, and her career was allowing her to create a desirable lifestyle for herself and her family. Everything was going exceedingly well. Or was it? Susan discovered that financial success, as highly valued as it is by most people, does not translate directly into personal happiness. Instead, Susan felt a painful emptiness, and as much as she alternated between renouncing it and rationalizing it, there was no denying that the emptiness was there and growing. She came to me looking for ideas and strategies for determining if she should stay in her current role or make a change. Six months later, she made the transition from her corporate gig to a leadership-consulting career. For Susan, this was the moment in which she finally committed. You’ve got this! finally meant something to her on a visceral level, and ever since then, she’s never looked back.

Every change in our external circumstances begins with a powerful internal shift. The change in Raj’s circumstances began with a single decision to reclaim her future. The life-changing shift for Greg was born in a moment when he realized that he could be authentic and real—and still be exceptionally successful. For Susan, the change came in a single moment of recognition that she had options and that it was entirely up to her—stay on the path she was on or pick another. These were defining moments.

Change. Yeah, it can be tough to initiate. It can seem risky. That is why so many of us shy away from making important changes. But guess what, risk is the precursor to freedom, expansion and an authentic and rewarding life. No doubt about it—risk includes challenges, and challenges are often the most powerful of all gifts. It is your challenges that force you to discover who you really are—and open the door to becoming the person you really want to be. If your life is bland and unexciting, it is time to make a change. You are the only one that can determine if you will live full out or be left out.

Big challenges often come early in life. A young boy is contemplating asking a girl to dance for the first time in his life. In that moment, he feels that everything is on the line, that his whole future hinges on her response. If she says “yes,” then everything will be awesome. But what if she says “no” or laughs at him… and everyone in the room sees it? That would be terrifying. That would be failure. That would be the worst thing ever. His decision to move forward, to go ahead and ask her instead of shrinking back and taking the safe road is a defining moment.

A senior manager with a multi-national manufacturing company feels a tug in his heart that he wants to spend his time and energy completely differently than he has so far. He wants to start his own business and help other people in a way that is more focused and personal than he can be in his executive role. His decision to embrace the risk and step boldly into the unknown—or to shrink back into the safety of the corporate security blanket became a defining moment.

We can wait and hope for defining moments to show up and motivate us to grow, stretch and succeed, or we can choose to embrace the fact that having what we want is, quite simply, a choice. Your choices right now define your future.

• Being unstoppable is a choice.

• Being resilient is a choice.

• Having what you want is a choice.

• Settling and giving in is a choice.

• Getting back up, dusting yourself off, and getting back into the race is a choice.

• Buying into excuses is a choice.

• Being courageous is a choice.

• Digging in and dominating or letting opportunities slip away is a choice.

Let’s step it up, starting right now… and really live this life that we have been given. We all have the option to give up, to give in. But if you picked up this book, you are not that person.

Left unchecked, you will accumulate and take ownership of some amazingly damaging thoughts, beliefs and rules about yourself and your place in the world. You have the ability and, in my o...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Table of Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Chapter 1 Live Life Full Out
• Chapter 2 Be Grateful for You are Connected, Protected, Guided and Loved
• Chapter 3 You Are a Warrior! Be Brave, Bold and Courageous
• Chapter 4 Master Resiliency
• Chapter 5 Reinvent Yourself. Initiating Big Change
• Chapter 6 Trust and Let Go
• Final Thoughts
• About the Author