PART ONE
Overview of Sexual Identity Therapy
CHAPTER 1
Religious Identity and Sexual Identity in Therapy
Sienna, age 27, comes to the office andâafter a little small talkâshares that she is looking for help with a conflict sheâs felt for years: âI have felt attracted to other girls since I was maybe 12 or 13. I wasnât sure what it meant, and I didnât dare tell anyone. My family raised me in the church. My dad was an elder; he still is. My mom is also what I guess youâd call a âstrong Christian.â I mean, I am a Christian too; my faith matters to me. Growing up, I knew better than to bring up my attraction to girls. It was a confusing time for me, and in some ways, it still is. Middle school was hard. High school was hard. I guess we can talk about that later. College was better. In college, it felt like if people knew, they wouldnât judge me. But I wasnât sure how to fit my sexuality with my faith or vice versa. After I graduated, I started my career, and thatâs been fine, I guess. No real drama there. But I feel like Iâm having a hard time finding a local church. I donât know what to make of the gay community. I donât see myself at a pride parade. I donât know what to do with my same-sex sexuality. I donât know what to do with my faith. I guess Iâd like to talk with you about it.â
SIENNA EXPERIENCES a conflict between her religious identity and her sexual identity. She is looking for a place, a therapeutic relationship, where she can navigate that conflict. It goes without saying that some people do not experience such a conflict between religious and sexual minority identity, or they find ways within their existing support system to navigate that conflict without the aid of therapy. But for Sienna and many others, it can be helpful to have a place to discuss both religious and sexual identity and to work out a coherent sense of identity to move forward in life.
It is worth noting that 89% of adults in the United States say they believe in God, and three fourths (77%) of adults identify with a religion (Pew Research Forum, 2015b). Reports of a recent dip in American religiosity cite the rise of the ânones,â or those who hold no religious affiliation, a stance especially prominent among millennials (Pew Research Forum, 2015b). Despite this apparently growing minority view, religion continues to be an important part of many peopleâs experience in the United States.
When we look at the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) community, we see a drop in religious affiliation, although most (59%) still adhere to a religion. Similarly, while 71% of the general public identifies as Christian, about half (48%) of LGBTQ+ persons identify as Christian (Pew Research Forum, 2015a).
Andrew Marin (2016) of The Marin Foundation, a not-for-profit that has worked to bridge religious faith traditions, especially Christianity, and the LGBTQ+ community, reported on a study of over 2,000 LGB Christians who were asked about their Christian faith and current religious practices.1 Most of them (86%) indicated they were raised in a faith community, and just over half (54%) left their faith community after age 18.2 A little over a third (36%) of LGBT people surveyed reported that they continued their faith practices after age 18, and most of these (about two thirds) continued practicing in theologically progressive faith communities, while about a third continued to practice in theologically conservative faith communities. Also, 80% of LGBT people surveyed indicated they regularly pray (regardless of religious identification or affiliation).
Religion will have varying degrees of impact on a person navigating same-sex sexuality or sexual identity. A shared faith tradition does not mean agreement when it comes to LGBTQ+ experiences. One Christian, for instance, may embrace his same-sex sexuality, view it as blessed from God, and pursue a faith community that shares this perspective. Another Christian may view same-sex sexuality as an experience that God did not intend for her and choose to forego same-sex relationships as a result.
What is particularly important is how clinicians navigate these potential differences with their clients. What does it mean to explore both religious identity and sexual identity in therapy?
RELIGIOUS IDENTITY AND SEXUAL IDENTITY IN THERAPY
The approach to care presented in this book is referred to as Sexual Identity Therapy (SIT). It follows the Sexual Identity Therapy Framework (SITF; Throckmorton & Yarhouse, 2006) and has been discussed in various forms for individual (Yarhouse, 2008) and group therapy (Yarhouse & Beckstead, 2011). SIT and the SITF were both cited in the 2009 American Psychological Association (APA) task force report on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation as examples of identity-focused alternatives to sexual orientation change efforts (SOCE). Before we look more at SIT, letâs look at the 2009 task force report.
The task force report was primarily focused on whether SOCE should be considered a viable therapeutic option when a person reports unwanted same-sex attraction. The task force provided a fairly extensive review of the extant research and concluded that âenduring change to an individualâs sexual orientation [is] unlikelyâ (APA, 2009, p. 4). Interestingly, however, the task force also noted that the support clients received in such therapies had some perceived benefits. For example, when clients attempted to change their orientation, they perceived benefits in approaches that âemphasize acceptance, support, and recognition of important values and concernsâ (APA, 2009, p. 4).
At the same time, gay affirmative therapy, which is in many ways the default posture clinicians take toward sexual minorities, may not be a good fit for all clients. In particular, clients who hold conventional religious beliefs and values may not feel the posture of gay affirmative therapy to be a supportive one for their own needs, depending on how such therapy is practiced. Gay affirmative therapy is not so much a protocol as a way of seeing a personâs sexuality. In practice, gay affirmative therapy can at times assume a preferred identity outcome (e.g., gay) and same-sex sexual behavior as a taken-for-granted expression of that identity, in keeping with its assumptions about sexual identity and expression, even though these assumptions are not necessarily shared by every client.
The task force suggests that todayâs gay affirmative therapy, what they refer to as simply âaffirmative therapy,â is best practiced in a more open-ended manner, without a fixed outcome:
Although affirmative approaches have historically been conceptualized around helping sexual minorities accept and adopt a gay or lesbian identity . . . , the recent research on sexual orientation identity diversity illustrates that sexual behavior, sexual attraction, and sexual orientation identity are labeled and expressed in many different ways, some of which are fluid. . . . We define an affirmative approach as supportive of clientsâ identity development without a priori treatment goals for how clients identify or express their sexual orientations. (APA, 2009, p. 14)
To avoid confusion, I think of this more nuanced approach as âclient-affirmativeâ so as to not conflate it with gay affirmative therapy, which may sometimes be balanced and client-affirmative but is not always practiced in quite this way by all practitioners. SIT is client-affirmative, as will be described in greater detail below. It functions as an alternative both to SOCE and to gay affirmative therapy as it is sometimes practiced.
The task force, even as it expressed concerns about SOCE, raised important considerations about what therapists stood to learn from the SOCE phenomenon. Among these considerations is the suggestion that mental health professions show respect for clients whose traditional religious values may conflict with the values of gay affirmative therapy as it has often been practiced. In other words, while the task force had concerns about SOCE, they also perceived a need for mental health services to create a safe space within which clients could explore beliefs and values that appeared to put their sexual and religious identities in conflict. In my view, such beliefs and values have at times precluded a person from being a good fit for gay affirmative therapy as it has traditionally been practiced.
The task force report concluded that when a client like Sienna presents with a conflict between her religious and sexual identities, clinicians are encouraged to utilize client-centered and identity-focused interventions rather than SOCE:
Conflicts among disparate elements of identity play a major role in the conflicts and mental health concerns of those seeking SOCE. Identity exploration is an active process of exploring and assessing oneâs identity and establishing a commitment to an integrated identity that addresses the identity conflicts without an a priori treatment goal for how clients identify or live out their sexual orientation. The process may include a developmental process that includes periods of crisis, mourning, reevaluation, identity deconstruction, and growth. (APA, 2009, p. 64)
In addition to being client-centered and identity-focused, the task force report outlined several other qualities they believe should be part of an affirmational approach to care. Such care would also reflect multicultural competence and foster both social support and coping skills.
In light of the conflicts experienced by conventionally religious clients who experience same-sex attraction, and in light of the concerns raised about SOCE, there appears to be a need for more âthird wayâ models of care. The task force described some of the elements of an approach to care that could reflect these benefits without attempting to make gay people straight and cited a number of examples of âintegrative and affirmative [or client-affirmative] perspectivesâ that include the SITF (Throckmorton & Yarhouse, 2006) and SIT (Yarhouse, 2008), among many other approaches (see Beckstead & Israel, 2007; Beckstead & Morrow, 2004; Glassgold, 2008; Haldeman, 2004). What the task force appeared to appreciate were approaches that explored identity rather than attempting to manipulate orientation. They emphasized the value of clinical services that demonstrated respect for religious identity while avoiding some of the pitfalls they saw in SOCE. Taken together, these various approaches suggest that âpsychotherapy that respects faith can also explore the psychological implications and impact of such beliefsâ (APA, 2009, p. 20).
The task force noted that although there are no empirically supported treatments (EST) for this population, in part because EST are âinterventions for individuals with specific disordersâ that âhave been demonstrated to be effective through rigorously controlled trialsâ (APA, 2009, p. 14), affirmative care is evidence-based insofar as it integrates the best research we have as a field with clinical wisdom and expertise, in light of a number of client diversity considerations.
SIT is a therapeutic approach that is consistent with the SITF (Throckmorton & Yarhouse, 2006). The SITF provides a kind of scaffolding for people who wish to help clients navigate sexual identity in therapy.
The SITF organizes mental health services into four distinct areas: assessment, advanced informed consent, psychotherapy, and congruence. Assessment includes general mental health concerns as well as a clientâs religious background or upbringing, current religious beliefs and values, and sexual identity. Advanced informed consent addresses general consent information (such as the limits of confidentiality) but also broaches the controversies surrounding sexual identity and religion in some detail so that clients have adequate information to decide whether this is the right approach for them. Psychotherapy should reflect a client-affirmative approach and can be based on any number of theoretical orientations; the key is that such therapy leads a person toward congruence, which means that the pesonâs behavior and sexual identity is in keeping with the personâs beliefs and values.
Any number of therapy models could be consistent with the SITF. SIT is one of those models. Letâs look at a brief overview of the key components of SIT.
SEXUAL IDENTITY THERAPY
SIT (Yarhouse, 2008; Yarhouse & Beckstead, 2011) is one approach to providing therapy in keeping with both the SITF and recommendations from the 2009 APA task force. It is considered an alternative to both SOCE and gay affirmative therapy. SIT is for individuals who experience a conflict between their religious and sexual identities. It follows a theoretical model of, and empirical research on, sexual identity development (Yarhouse, 2001; Yarhouse, Stratton, Dean, & Brooke, 2009), as well as empirical research on the experiences of Christians who identify as gay and those who disidentify with a gay identity or the mainstream LGBTQ+ community (Yarhouse & Tan, 2004; Yarhouse, Tan, &...