Mindfulness is a buzzword these days. Google it and youâll get hits advocating mindfulness for everything from spiritual development to a cure for depression and anxiety, and a de-stressor for modern life. Mindfulness is big business with mindfulness schools and a plethora of books all vying for our attention and money. But despite being a buzzword and a fast-growing clichĂ©, mindfulness has very real and practical applications that are neither abstract Eastern mysticism nor new-age hippy-dippy. So, mindfulness is important, but itâs not a golden bullet to save us from all ills. In our context, mindfulness is one of the six attributes. Nothing more, nothing less.
Have you ever walked out of a meeting wondering what was just said? Have you ever sat in a meeting so engaged in the conversation that later, when a colleague says you seemed defensive, angry, or quiet, youâre genuinely shocked? Have you ever been so caught up in the banter of pundits and colleagues â or so sure of your own direction â that you were bowled over by a challenge you didnât see coming? Iâd say what weâre all missing in those situations is an understanding of the direction of the conversation â and of the impression weâre leaving â and a failure to read or anticipate where our team or business is at. Iâd say weâre missing the ability to be present in the moment and see, really see, whatâs unfolding in front of us â which is where mindfulness comes in.
To be mindful isnât magical or spiritual, though it can have a touch of both. Being mindful is just what it sounds like: being aware of whatâs happening now. It means being free from the thoughts in our heads; concerns about what we should or shouldnât say, a preoccupation with how we might look if we spoke up, or any number of other thoughts that do a good job of keeping us, well, small.
We only have so much brain power, and if that capacity is being used up worrying about [insert your current preoccupation here] it means we donât have space to focus on whatâs really important. Mindfulness gives us that space. Being mindful liberates us from the small and mundane and lets us elevate our perceptions and our conversations â and see whatâs happening beneath the surface.
Mindfulness is central to a leadership mindset because the stillness of mind that it brings creates a fertile landscape in which to grow the other five attributes. From that stillness and presence, genuine curiosity, flexibility of mind, and even enterprise thinking all become possible.
So letâs begin by understanding where mindfulness came from.
A (Very) Brief History of Mindfulness
Meditation, the practice of training the mind, is most often associated with Eastern religions â such as Hinduism and Buddhism â and has been practised for thousands of years. Though there are others, its two most popular forms are concentration meditation and mindfulness meditation.
Concentration meditation encourages attention on an object in order to develop a discipline of mind. This kind of meditation mostly consists of sitting comfortably and bringing our focus back to the object of our attention when it drifts. That object could be a statue of Buddha, a candle, a point on the floor, the wall, a rosary, a chant, or even our breath. Itâs referred to as concentration meditation because it trains the mind through concentration on an external or physical reference point.
Mindfulness meditation has also been practised for thousands of years in the Buddhist tradition and has moved into Western culture mostly through Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are. Ten-day Vipassana meditation retreats are becoming increasingly popular throughout the world. It teaches us to train our minds to be fully aware and present when meditating.
Unlike concentration meditation, mindfulness doesnât train the mind on an object. It focuses on an awareness of our bodies and surroundings. The intent is that when we âendâ our meditation, our mindfulness is still there, slowing down the world as we notice the small things around us. That leads to a deep awareness of our surroundings and of our relationship to the world.
With practice, we donât just see the world for what it is, we come to see ourselves for what we are too. Not more than we are, not less than we are, just what we are. We become aware of our prejudices, egos, agendas, and our own wishful thinking that prevents us from honestly seeing events unfolding in front of us for what they are. Normally, as we notice the world around us, we canât help but notice our own reaction to it. That awareness can breed a calmness that acts like a buffer against life.
Why Mindfulness Matters in a Leadership Mindset
But how does that relate to a leadership mindset? Well, the reason why Iâm counting mindfulness as an attribute of a leadership mindset is because clarity of mind is the best way I know of making astute observations and informed decisions. If I canât, or wonât, see whatâs right in front of me, if Iâm blindsided by events I should have seen coming, or if Iâm trying to wrestle the world and everyone in it to do what I want, then I may be doing a lot of things, but living a leadership mindset isnât one of them.
Letâs think about that for a moment. For me, one of the benefits of a leadership mindset is that it allows us to move beyond reacting and allows us to start anticipating. Itâs about trying to see down the road as far as we can with as much clarity as we can. Itâs about seeing our successes and the challenges that lay ahead of us and itâs about making decisions with the best available data and the clearest possible insight that allows us to pivot to accommodate the twists and turns that await us.
Thatâs what makes mindfulness so important. Because none of that is possible if we lack the ability to see the situation unbiased by what we think should happen or what we really want to happen. Expectations keep us holding on to a version of reality that may not be true, and thatâs a poor window through which to look at our team or business.
Practically speaking, if weâre trying to wrestle the situation to the ground to push our agenda forward, we could be missing things that might make our idea work better. We might miss the article that shoots our idea down but offers us a chance to see the holes in our thinking. We miss an insight because weâre so fixated on making the plan work as we first conceived it. We miss ⊠[fill in the blank]. The biggest clue to that way of thinking is saying âshouldâ or âought toâ. If we catch ourselves becoming annoyed because something should have happened or someone ought to have done something, weâre ignoring why those things didnât happen, and what we can learn from the situation.
But mindfulness isnât just about strategy planning. The attribute of mindfulness relates to seeing the people around us clearly. It takes mindfulness to see the subtleties in peopleâs reactions during a meeting, to notice resistance or openness, to take a clear look at the facts. If we donât see these things, we charge ahead â bull-in-china-shop-like. We donât try to phrase our ideas carefully, meaning that others struggle to really understand what we are saying, we donât admit the change is tough, and on and on the problems run. Because we havenât noticed whatâs happening for our audience, we run the risk of losing the support we did have and losing any chance of gaining new support.
That ability is a long way from the idea in neurolinguistic programming (NLP) of looking at peopleâs eyes to see if theyâre lying. Itâs a leap from Dale Carnegieâs How to Win Friends and Influence People. Thatâs because mindfulness isnât about using techniques on people. Mindfulness is about seeing a situation for what it is. Like a leadership mindset, itâs a way of looking at the world thatâs borne out of our experiences. If mindfulness hasnât been part of your life experience to date, itâs about trying the idea on, adopting the behaviour, and seeing the effect it has on you and those around you.
The Behaviours of Mindfulness
I mentioned in the introduction that every attribute of a leadership mindset has a corresponding set of behaviours. Perhaps nowâs a good time to think about what the behaviours of mindfulness are. I say behaviours because, although weâll all wear mindfulness differently, weâll also be able to see commonalities in the way that somebody with mindfulness â as an attribute of a leadership mindset â holds themselves. These are some of the behaviours we can expect to see:
Attribute of a leadership mindset | Behaviours |
Mindfulness | Self-awareness Seeing |
Challenge: An Experience of Mindfulness
Challenge: An Experience of Mindfulness
We could talk about mindfulness forever and get no closer to living its behaviours, so before we go any further, letâs have a go at experiencing it. Before we begin, letâs remind ourselves that it can take years to develop the kind of clarity that comes with mindfulness. Monks dedicate their lives to it, and although we donât all have the desire or resources to do that, mindfulness practice can be a good idea for everyone.
Of course, sitting on a cushion on the floor â as is customary in the practice â isnât for everyone and thatâs why Iâll offer a few different approaches before the end of this chapter. For now, letâs just get a taste of what mindfulness is. Weâll begin with a fairly traditional take, so that way we know what weâre digressing from if we choose to. But, like I said, if this doesnât work for you, just hold on; thereâs another bus coming.
First off, find a place where you can be uninterrupted for ten minutes. Read this section through then set the book down and give it a go. Set a timer beforehand, if you like, so you donât have to keep checking the time.
Sit on a chair, with both your feet flat on the floor. Place your hands on your lap, palms down. Hold yourself upright as much as possible. Try not to slouch forward. Close your eyes if you like, or leave them open. If they are open, find a spot about six feet in front of you on the ground and keep a loose focus on that spot, i.e. not an intense stare, but a relaxed gaze.
Then listen and notice. Listen to the sounds around you. The wind outside perhaps. The drone of traffic. Listen to the footsteps around you if there are any. A neighbourâs dog barking. Listen to these things without a story line. Try not to run into a dialogue of how the windâs kicking up the leaves and making a mess on the lawn or pavement. Try not to tell yourself the story of how you used to love running through the leaves in autumn when you were a kid. Give up the story about how cruel the owner of the barking dog is to keep it locked up while sheâs at work.
Instead just listen.
Notice your breathing. And notice the gentle rise and fall of your stomach as you breathe in and out. Notice the gap between the in breath and the out breath. Notice how youâre feeling. Your reaction to the sounds around you. Notice if the dog barking annoys you. And with everything you notice â good, bad, or indifferent â let it go with every breath out.
If it helps, imagine the things you notice are clouds drifting by on a summerâs day. Itâs as if, sitting there on your chair, youâre on a hillside watching these clouds float by. And just like watching clouds pass, youâre not attached to the thing you notice. Itâs just there. Drifting by. A temporary feeling, or thought, or thing. And when you donât hold onto it, it just goes on its way. Drifting away with every breath. Leaving you free and unaffected.
If a thought or a feeling does take a hold, notice that itâs done that. Donât beat yourself up, donât tell yourself youâve wasted three, five, or nine minutes of your practice. When you notice that your mind has wandered, breathe out and let that thought go. Then go back to hearing the sounds around you. Noticing you and the world around you without creating a story around any of it.
Keep doing this for ten minutes. And after ten minutes, stop.
Mindfulness and t...