The Psychology of Counseling

Clyde M. Narramore

• Editorial: Barakaldo Books
• Año: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781839744440
• Categoría: Psicología
• Categoría: Historia y teoría en psicología

"Presents the basic concepts and techniques of counseling with appropriate illustrations. Discusses the effective use of Scripture in counseling. Contains a glossary and a bibliography.The first 26 chapters of the book present the basic concepts and techniques of counseling with interesting and appropriate illustrations. A further chapter gives a thorough-going and inspiring presentation of the effective use of scripture in counseling. Here the reader is challenged to use the Word of God and is shown how to use it effectively. This comprehensive chapter concludes with a list of several hundred of the most appropriate Scripture portions to be used with some 20 different types of personality and spiritual problems. Another section of the book deals with four particular areas of counseling: Counseling with Teenagers, Counseling with the Emotionally and Mentally Ill, Marriage Counseling, and Counseling about Sex Problems. Realistic situations in each of the above categories are pointed up. Interesting case studies are presented to illustrate the problem; then basic guides in counseling are suggested. Probably no other book contains a more meaningful chapter on terms that counselors should know than does Dr. Narramore's comprehensive work. Each term is defined, explained, amplified, and in many instances, illustrated with appropriate reference to spiritual concerns. The Psychology of Counseling will provide both professional and lay counselors with one of the most comprehensive guidebooks ever published and with the most usable concepts of counseling yet available."—Print ed.

Part One — BASIC CONCEPTS AND TECHNIQUES OF COUNSELING

1 — THE IMPORTANCE OF COUNSELING

A minister phoned a psychologist friend one morning and asked for a referral suggestion. “This case really shocked me,” the pastor said. “He is a member of our church, apparently a fine spiritual man. But yesterday the police picked him up on a serious charge.”

After discussing the problem for several minutes the psychologist asked, “What does this experience indicate to you?”

“Several things,” replied the pastor, “but especially this: there is a great need for counseling. If I had allowed time for individual counseling, he might not have committed this crime at all.”

Most pastors realize the importance of the pulpit ministry but some have not fully considered the significance of the counseling ministry. It has been said that a minister who does not place a strong emphasis on counseling is only “half a minister.”

There are some basic reasons why counseling is so important. One is that it focuses on the needs of individuals.

Pulpit preaching is a blessing, but it may not always meet one’s specific needs. Gloria, for example, is very concerned about a matter that stands in the way of marriage. But she does not get the particular help she needs from a sermon.

Don, on the other hand, has a very different problem: homo-sexuality. He knows that unless his situation improves he is likely to have serious trouble. Does he get anything from the speaker at the youth meeting? Yes, but not the individual help he needs for his own peculiar problem.

Mrs. Smith’s daughter has gone away to college. During the year she has written her mother saying that she will not return home next summer. She thinks she will spend the time in a nearby city. Mrs. Smith realizes that her daughter is slipping away from the Lord. Naturally, Mrs. Smith is concerned. She needs counsel—individual guidance. On Sunday she does not receive much benefit from the message because her mind is preoccupied thinking about her daughter.

So it is, every person has his own interesting world. And we do not enter people’s worlds by taking a “pot-shot” at them. Someone has said that people are not born in bunches and we usually do not solve their problems in bunches. We help people most when we talk with them individually.

Another reason why counseling is important is because it enables one to work on highly personal problems. Wonderful teaching and inspiration can be found in books and lectures. But some topics do not lend themselves to public or mass discussion. When we counsel with people individually, however, we reach their personal and innermost problems.

Counseling is important because it is two-way communication. The counselee as well as the counselor talks. And we do not grow or change much unless we are given the opportunity to discuss our problems thoroughly. A message or a lecture is one-way communication. We talk at people. We consider them targets which we hope to “hit.” But when we counsel individually, the counselee also has something to say. He thinks and talks with the counselor. This is two-way communication—and it brings results.

Counseling is also important because it has a depth aspect. We can only go part way with such media as books, lectures and television. Sometimes our efforts are, at best, only superficial. But work with individuals is more thorough. The client gains a much greater depth of understanding. This brings about sounder and more permanent solutions.

Every Christian worker should consider the emphasis he places on counseling. He should keep in mind that God is intensely interested in the individual. In Jesus’ ministry here on earth, He manifested His interest in individuals. True, He was pressed by the throngs and He fed the multitude. But He called His disciples one by one. He met Nicodemus alone to talk over the things of God. Another time He sat by a well and explained to a woman of Samaria how she could have satisfying, living water. And in a jostling street procession Jesus looked up and spotted a man sitting in the branches of a tree. He ordered the man to come down. Then Jesus left the throng and went with Zacchaeus to his home so that He could personally discuss this man’s needs. Still again Christ heard the pleading cry of poor, blind Bartimaeus and stopped on His way to minister to him and to give him sight. And even in the midst of the crowds who pressed closely about Him, Jesus felt the touch of one woman in need and said, “Thy faith hath made thee whole.” Yes, Jesus gave His life for each individual and salvation is an individual matter.

The good Shepherd left the ninety and nine to help one, poor wandering sheep. Can we do less than give people our personal attention? It is God’s way—and it is the effective way to help people with their individual needs.

2 — TO WHOM DO THEY TURN?

One of the signs of a healthy personality is the desire to reach out beyond one’s self and become a blessing to others. This quality is especially apparent in Christians. When a person trusts in Christ as his Saviour and begins to grow into a mature Christian, he looks beyond himself for opportunities to serve. He sees people, perhaps in far away lands, perhaps in his own community, who need help. This same urge to serve mankind makes men want to counsel and help others.

However, some Christian leaders find it difficult to reach people. They have a desire to help, but it seems that problem-laden people do not gravitate in their direction. A question which seminary students and young ministers often ask is, “How do we get people to come to us with their problems?” This question is also raised by mature, experienced men and women. “We are sure we could help people,” they say, “but very few confide in us.”

There are some people who seem to attract others almost immediately. A study of the men and women to whom people readily turn indicates that these people usually possess certain essential qualities—characteristics which draw others to them. What are these traits? The following suggestions will help any Christian leader improve his “counselor personality.”

People usually turn to someone they know. It is only natural that people take their problems to a person with whom they feel comfortable—someone they know personally or to whom they have at least spoken. The more any Christian leader mixes with people and increases his personal contacts, the more likely people are to seek his help. Meetings, picnics, class parties, and scores of other occasions give any man or woman an opportunity to associate with others and acquaint himself with them. It is easy to understand why people do not usually seek strangers for help. The man (or woman) they know and in whom they have confidence, is the one to whom people are likely to turn in time of stress.

People take their problems to someone they like. It is usually not enough to know a person. Most people want to take their problems to someone whom they feel is a friend. This close identification grows out of friendliness and genuine warmth. When a person is friendly, one who can laugh, or sympathize, and one who seems to understand others, he is usually well accepted. True, it is easier for some people to show friendliness than it is for others. Yet, any Christian leader can become a warmer, friendlier person by consistently noticing others and talking with them.

People take their problems to someone they respect. The person who lives an exemplary life, who is wise and discreet in his behavior, is the one who is respected and held in high esteem. This is the kind of person to whom others feel secure in taking their burdens.

Concerning respect, it is important to remember that since man looks on the “outward appearance,” it is essential to dress neatly and appropriately and to conduct one’s self in a manner becoming a Christian leader. When a person’s walk before God and men is such that others admire his behavior and decorum, people immediately respect him. They see that God is controlling his life and that he is a man of honor. This kind of respect opens the door for counseling.

People are most likely to seek help from Christian leaders who indicate their interest in counseling. It is often said that people are constantly sending out signals. Their actions, either obviously or subtly, tell people about such things as their interests and abilities. Pastors and other Christian leaders are no exceptions. Through the many little things they do and say, people can soon tell whether they are genuinely interested in counseling.

If a pastor, for example, preaches practical sermons that apply to everyday problems, the congregation knows that he is interested in people’s needs. They feel that he is a person with whom they can talk. Sermons on such topics as “The Christian Home,” “Consecration,” or “Youth’s Greatest Decisions” indicate to the congregation that the minister is interested in counseling about such matters. In the same way a youth leader or a Sunday school teacher can let people know that he is interested in their problems by using appropriate illustrations in devotionals and talks.

Another subtle but very effective way of telling people that you are interested in them is to place the right books in your library. For example, if a person walks into the study or the home of a pastor or Christian leader and notices books about teenage problems, marriage, sex, mental health, and such topics, he realizes that the pastor is interested in these problems. But if people never see books of this type in the pastor’s library, they may feel that he does not have much concern about people’s every day, personal needs.

One of the best ways for a pastor to get close to his people and to show his willingness to help them with their problems is to conduct a series of study groups throughout the church. For example, in one church the pastor and the youth director conducted three Friday night meetings for the young people on the subject, “Courtship and Marriage.” The meetings were enthusiastically attended. It wasn’t long after this series that several of the young people began coming to the pastor and youth director for counsel about some of their personal problems.

Another pastor had a similar experience. He conducted two Friday night meetings for the parents of teenagers in his church. The topic was, “What Makes a Good Christian Home?” The pastor noticed that after these meetings, the parents felt more free to come to his study and discuss their problems. Indeed, one of the best ways to encourage people to consider their problems individually is to conduct study groups, seminars and similar meetings in the church. Through these sessions people are impressed with the importance and the serious consequences of unsolved problems. And through this means they gain confidence in their leader.

People turn for counseling to someone whom they feel is competent. Although other attributes are important in counseling, they do not take the place of competence. Today’s counselor must have more to offer than mere “talk.” He must be well informed and skilled.

If a person is competent, people soon realize that he is prepared to help them. Since counseling is vitally important, it deserves all the preparation one can afford. Reading books, taking courses, and getting as much information as possible about counseling helps a person to be prepared.{1} And if he is competent, people will certainly make a path to his door.

People take their problems to someone who observes professional ethics.{2} People want to be especially sure that a counselor is strictly confidential. They want to be certain that he will not divulge personal information to anyone else.

It is well said that a man’s reputation “goes before him.” If he is not confidential, the word soon travels around and in a short time people avoid talking with him about personal matters. Unfortunately, it only takes a few “slips” to crystallize an undesirable reputation.

One of the best ways to establish yourself as a dependable counselor is to make sure that what is said in your office never goes any further. Even the most gifted, brilliantly trained counselor will not be sought after if he fails to be confidential. “Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint” (Proverbs 25:19). People refuse to take chances on what they consider “private affairs.” So, if you would have people turn to you, be sure you guard their confidences.

Finally, people turn to the counselor who knows God. In time of turbulence and tr...

Índice

• Title page
• A PERSONAL WORD...
• ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
• Part One - BASIC CONCEPTS AND TECHNIQUES OF COUNSELING
• 3 - THE COUNSELOR
• Part Two - SPECIAL AREAS OF COUNSELING
• Part Three - THE USE OF SCRIPTURE IN COUNSELING - APPENDIX