Chapter 1
Laying the Groundwork for Persuasion and Influence
In This Chapter
R egardless of how intuitive, experienced, powerful or educated you are, if you canāt build relationships with other people, if you canāt establish your credibility and demonstrate your trustworthiness, if you canāt convince others through your words and actions to follow your suggestions, you stand little chance of making a difference in your career or your life.
The days of ācommand and controlā leadership in the workplace and beyond are over. From my experiences with both personal and professional relationships, āconnect and collaborateā is the new and improved mantra. In most relationships, including those in the professions and industries, the 21st century brings a more educated workforce, flatter management structures and an emphasis on teamwork over individual accomplishment. All of which means that people can no longer play the ābecause I said soā card in order to get others to change their behaviours and beliefs. In short, persuasion and influence has replaced force and coercion.
In this chapter you discover the mindset, characteristics and attributes of successful persuaders and influencers. You find ways of building effective behaviours into your own repertoire in order to persuade and influence othersā choices, and you explore the value of working with others for mutual benefit.
Defining Persuasion and Influence
Many people use the verbs to persuade and to influence interchangeably, and while the terms are similar, subtle differences also exist. The following sections tease out the differences between persuasion and influence and then find their commonalities and interlinked qualities.
Distinguishing between the two
Both persuasion and influence involve deliberate changes in attitudes and behaviour ā but how the change happens differs. When you deliberately try to change another personās behaviour through your own words and actions, youāre practising persuasion. If you can change another personās thoughts, feelings and behaviour based on your character, youāre practising influence.
Influence is about having a vision of the best outcome and motivating people to turn that vision into a reality. Some leaders, for example, can bring about change simply through the power of their personalities, without having to put into words what they want you to do. Over the course of time they have built up an arsenal of trust and credibility. By contrast, persuasion is a way of presenting a case that sways othersā opinions and makes them believe certain information.
Both influence and persuasion share the same objective of creating change in someone elseās behaviour or attitude. Persuasion requires that you communicate what you want, whereas influence works silently through example. When you sway someoneās opinion by presenting your case convincingly, youāre consciously practising persuasion. When people change their attitudes, feelings and behaviours based on your personality, youāre practising influence.
Some say that persuasion is about winning hearts and minds, while others say thatās the job of influence. Others say that persuasion can spur people to take action without the persuader gaining their sincere buy-in, while influence, in which you take the time to develop rapport, is a prerequisite to getting someone to make a particular decision. I say that, without trust at the core of whatever approach you take, you struggle to either persuade or influence anyone over a long period of time. The sections āUtilising the power of persuasionā and āEmploying the impact of influenceā, below, explore the strengths of both approaches in detail.
For this book, which primarily looks at persuasion and influence within business contexts, Iām working from a definition of persuasion as being a way of convincing others to take action without the persuader necessarily having garnered their sincere buy-in. By contrast, when you influence a person, I believe you do so more through your reputation than your actions; youāve invested the time to demonstrate respect, build trust and establish rapport. However, I also use the two words interchangeably with the understanding you can use both appropriately in order to produce positive results.
Contrasting with manipulation
The difference between persuasion and influence and their distant cousin manipulation has to do with purpose and intention.
Manipulation involves:
In the wrong hands, persuasion resembles manipulation. While you can gain short-term compliance through manipulation, you donāt gain trust and credibility, both of which serve you much better in the long run.
The ethical persuader and influencer works from a position of fairness, honesty and mutual benefit.
Ethics is a sub-set of philosophy that explores questions around moral conflicts, such as good/bad, right/wrong and virtue/vice. In my book Persuasion & Influence For Dummies (Wiley) I cover some ethical concerns related to persuasion and influence. For an entire book on the topic, pick up Ethics For Dummies by Christopher Panza and Adam ...