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The Mood Elevator
I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavorâŠ. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.
âHENRY DAVID THOREAU
Let me tell you a story about my friend John. I wonder whether youâve ever known someone like him.
In many ways John is a lucky guy. He has a wonderful wife, two smart young kids, and an interesting job in the marketing division of a company weâll call Tip-Top Products. In the eyes of many people, John is on top of the world. But as our story begins, John is feeling very upset. He has just left his office at Tip-Top Products at closing time and is on his way home as usual, but he decides to stop for a few minutes at a nearby park to try to regain his composure.
John is troubled because of a conversation he had just a few minutes earlier with a colleague named Fran.
âSay, John,â Fran remarked, poking her head into his office. âHave you heard the latest rumor about next yearâs budget? Itâs all over the company.â
âHavenât heard a thing,â John replied. âWhatâs the scoop?â
âWell, itâs just a rumor, of course, but the word is that the board is worried about this quarterâs profit downturn. Theyâre supposedly talking about downsizing. And from what I hear, your division might be on the chopping block.â
John felt a knot beginning to form in his stomach. âReally? Who told you that?â
Fran shook her head. âIâm not supposed to say,â she replied. âAnd it may turn out to be nothing, but I thought youâd want to know.â
âThanks, Fran,â John answered. Suddenly his plans for the eveningâenjoying dinner with the family followed by a football game on TVâseemed utterly inconsequential. Fears and worries flooded his mind as he left the office.
Now, sitting on a park bench a few minutes later, John thinks about the possibility of being laid off and the dire consequences that could have. What if he canât find another job? Will his kids be able to go to college? Will he lose his home? (A neighbor got laid off a year earlier and had to move back in with his parentsâit can happen that easily.) Can his ego handle being fired? How will he break the news to his wife? Susie is such a worrierâand maybe sheâll figure he must have done something wrong to deserve being let go. Sheâll probably wish sheâd married her old boyfriend Ben after allâisnât he a hotshot lawyer by now? And who could blame her? She deserves better than to be hitched to a failure like me. John finds his mood rapidly plunging from anxious, to worried, to downright depressed.
Then his thoughts turn back to Tip-Top Products. He recalls all the years of hard work heâs put in and the contributions heâs made to the companyâs success. How had the bosses gotten the company into this position? And how did they decide that downsizing would be the solution? Was the decision made just to benefit the people at the top? I bet those fat cats in the executive suite arenât facing any pay cutsâlet alone layoffs, John fumes. His feeling of depression gives way to a sense of resentment and self-righteous anger.
Suddenly he remembers Franâs words: âIt may turn out to be nothing.â Thatâs true, isnât it? Rumors like this have circulated before and turned out to be just hot air. And Fran is always one of the first to spread the latest scuttlebuttâtrue or not. Johnâs anxiety begins to lift. Heaving a sigh of relief, he says to himself, Itâs probably not true at all! After all, one quarter of bad financial results is no big deal. I bet our profits are going to be back to normal in no timeâand the board probably thinks so, too. He gets up from the park bench and heads toward home.
Strolling through the park, John finds his thoughts going in a different direction. He says to himself, Maybe this rumor is really a wakeup call for me. Iâve been trying to work up the courage to leave Tip-Top for the past year and look for something betterâlike a job at that high-tech startup my buddy Ron just joined. Maybe now is the time to do it. He begins imagining the exciting changes that a new career path could bringâa higher salary, a bigger office, maybe a company car and a country club membership. Picturing the admiring expression on Susieâs face when he brings home a handsome bonus check from his new employers, he becomes quite excited, even inspired. He vows to get to work on updating his rĂ©sumĂ© as soon as possibleâmaybe tonight!
Johnâs buoyant mood is mellowed by the sight of two kids, about the same age as his own, climbing on a jungle gym. After all, he thinks, isnât that what really mattersâhaving a family you love? Thereâs a spring in Johnâs step as he exits the park and heads for home, looking forward to some quality time with his wife and kids. As for the rumor about Tip-Top, that can wait till morning, when he will compare notes with his closest colleagues and figure out whatâs really going on.
You may have never had to deal with a downsizing rumor like the one that sent John into a tizzy that afternoon, but Iâll bet youâve experienced emotional ups and downs like he went through. Itâs a common, almost universal experienceâespecially in a world as full of unpredictable, uncontrollable changes and chances as ours. As you can tell from the story, Johnâs emotional ups and downs simply followed his thinking. Itâs our thinking that takes us on this kind of wild ride in life.
I call this âriding the Mood Elevatorââbut you might call it simply the human condition. Itâs our moment-to-moment experience of life. The Mood Elevator carries us up and down as we swing through a wide range of emotions. Those feelings play a major role in defining the quality of our lives, as well as our effectiveness in dealing with daily challenges.
We all ride up and down the Mood Elevator every day. So wouldnât it be great if we knew the right buttons to push to stay among the top floors? And wouldnât it be helpful if we knew how to make our visits to the lower floors less unpleasant and shorter in duration? Providing the keys that can help you control your rides on the Mood Elevator is the main purpose of this book.
Letâs begin by looking at the Mood Elevator and the various floors it visits. The Mood Elevator map is based on my own experience, as well as input from hundreds of groups and tens of thousands of people who attended seminars designed or conducted by Senn Delaney and our client facilitators. In reality, we each have our own unique set of Mood Elevator floors, but most of the levels shown on the map are probably familiar to youâand itâs likely youâve visited them at one point or another in your life.
Think about your own travels on the Mood Elevator, beginning with your visits to the upper floors. These are moments, hours, or days when we are lighthearted. We are in touch with things we are grateful for in our lives; we feel secure, confident, creative, and resourceful. We are not easily bothered by people and situations and are less apt to âsweat the small stuff.â We are more curious than judgmental and are inclined to see the humor in things. We tackle lifeâs challenges with a sense of ease and grace, feel connected to the flow of life, and may even find ourselves able to tap into a source of universal wisdom or intelligence. At times like these, we are operating âup the Mood Elevator,â and they are times we are likely to remember with a feeling of satisfaction and pleasure.
But being human means that we spend some time âdown the Mood Elevator,â as well. These are times when our lives donât look or feel as good, times when we feel insecure and worried. We find we are easily irritated and bothered by people or circumstances; we may feel judgmental, defensive, and self-righteous. Or we may feel vaguely âdown,â troubled, or depressed. When we are down the Mood Elevator, our emotions may range from quite passive (listless, lethargic, or blue) to very intense and active (resentful, fearful, or angry).
Weâll use the Mood Elevator as our map of human experience throughout this book. It is simple and straightforward, and it fits well with my subjective perceptions of how my moods tend to shift. I am not claiming that the Mood Elevator has been scientifically validated; it is simply a tool that I have found very effective in my own lifeâand many others with whom I have shared it agree.
To begin reflecting on the Mood Elevator and its role in your life, ask yourself the following questions:
Which floors are most familiar to me as part of my normal day-to-day experience of life?
Which floors most commonly define my temperament? On which floors would the people who know me best most often expect to find me?
Which floors would I like to visit more often in my life? On which floors would I like to spend less time?
Which floors do I most often get stuck on when I am having a bad day?
Which floors do I tend to land on when my mood begins to drop?
Which floors do I visit on days when I am feeling most productive, creative, and happy?
Everyone experiences the Mood Elevator in their unique way. For me, the feeling of gratitude tends to mark those moments when Iâm on the very highest floor of my personal elevator. When I slow down, quiet my mind, and set aside the preoccupations and pressures of the day, I become aware of the gratitude I feel toward my wife, Bernadette, and our five children. The same sense of gratitude wells up in me when my teenage son, Logan, or one of my other kids gives me a hug and says, âI love you, Dad,â or when I pause to experience a beautiful sunset that paints the sky with a multitude of amazing colors.
Good things seem to happen to me when I am on the upper floors of my Mood Elevator. I find myself feeling creative and resourceful. Ideas and answers come more easily, and solutions to problems seem more accessible. The feelings of love, hope, patience, and curiosity that I experience make my life richer and enable me to contribute more to my family and friends, to my church, and to my chosen lifeâs work.
In fact, the pleasure I take from my days on the upper floors is what drove me to write this bookâand also what enabled me to turn that desire into a reality. When I am on one of the lower floors, creative thoughts donât come at all. Frozen by writerâs block, I find it hard to think of examples or stories to illustrate my ideasâand the ones I do manage to come up with appear silly and worthless. By contrast, there are days when metaphors and images come pouring out, as if I am connected to a source of inspiration and ideas greater than myselfâsome fount of universal intelligence and original thought that I only have to tap into.
One of the warning signs Iâve learned to recognize that tells me Iâm heading down the Mood Elevator is when I notice myself becoming more impatient, more easily irritated or bothered. A minor inconvenience, mistake, or misunderstanding that I would ordinarily shrug off or laugh about seems to get under my skin, provoking annoyance or anger when Iâm sinking toward those lower floors.
I am sure you can recall experiences from your travels on the Mood Elevator in your own life. Most people have a natural desire to experience life on the higher floors more often and more consistently. Who wouldnât want to worry less, feel less stress, and be irritated and bothered less often? Who wouldnât want to feel more gratitude, love, humor, and lightness? Who wouldnât want to experience a heightened degree of creativity, curiosity, flexibility, and resilience?
Whatâs more, the benefits of life on the upper floors are long lasting and cumulative. The more time we spend at those higher levels, the better our lives tend to goâbecause the upper floors on the Mood Elevator are where we function at our best, thinking most clearly, making the smartest choices, and behaving most creatively. Think about it: Which floors would you rather be on when you are trying to buildâor repairâan important personal relationship? When discussing a sensitive issue with someone you love? When tackling a complex problem at work? When making an important life decision?
For most of us, the answer is obvious. The higher levels on the Mood Elevator lead to more success with less stressâto healthier relationships, greater personal productivity, and a better quality of life. No matter how you personally define successâregardless of what realms of achievement and happiness are most important to youâthe upper floors on the Mood Elevator are a better place from which to parent, to lead, and to build a career.
Just imagine how different your life, work, and relationships might be if you spent a lot more time on the upper floorsâand if you knew how to minimize the negative impact on yourself and others from your inevitable visits to the lower floors.
When I talk with people about the Mood Elevator, almost everyone immediately recognizes the conceptâyet very few have ever thought about their life experience in this way. Thatâs probably becau...