If You Don't Feed the Students, They Starve

Improving Attitude and Achievement through Positive Relationships

Neila A. Connors

• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Year: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781118415368
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education Teaching Methods

Award-winning teacher Neila A. Connors shares her secrets for creating positive classroom relationships

From the author of the best-selling If You Don't Feed the Teachers, They Eat the Students, comes an innovative resource for all who work with pre-K through 12th grade students. Neila Connors presents a wealth of strategies and techniques to help teachers develop, maintain, and sustain positive student relationships. If You Don't Feed the Students offers practical, commonsense methods for improving classroom performance, served up in an engaging and entertaining manner.

• Unique, classroom tested strategies for validating all students to help them succeed in the classroom
• Proven approaches that will benefit teachers, student teachers, and school administrators alike

In this fun, must-have resource, Connors reveals how empowering students creates a climate of care and compassion and improves everyone's attitudes and achievement.

CHAPTER 1
“Welcome!”: A Courteous Greeting, and Everyone Is Valued
Everyone Is Treated with Dignity and Respect

Patrons want to feel important when going to a five-star restaurant. Upon their arrival, they are treated with dignity and respect and feel valued. A five-star school (FSS) does the same to students, teachers, parents, and anyone who enters. And in five-star schools where we F.E.E.D. (Fuel, Engage, Empower Daily), everything is transparent as well. First impressions are predominant. From the minute students, parents, and community members arrive at the school, they are greeted with an array of messages affirming “Welcome to OUR school!” The appearance of the building mirrors the respect for the people who work and learn there and from the people responsible for its existence.

Signs of a student-focused school begin with the outside appearance. Have you ever driven to an unknown restaurant recommended by a friend and, upon arrival, departed without even entering because of how it looked on the outside? Unfortunately, our students can't leave. Therefore, it is our responsibility to ensure that the grounds are neat, groomed, and inviting (William Perky). Getting students involved in the upkeep of the school is an excellent way to have students “own” their school.

Greet and treat others with dignity and respect. What does that really imply? Let's look at dignity first.

Dignity

The dictionary definition of dignity reads, “The quality or state of being worthy of self-esteem and self-respect.” Dignity is one of those words like tolerance, love, and compassion that we all instinctively believe is necessary for success but we all have different interpretations of how to show it. If we asked 10 people to define dignity and give tangible activities that demonstrate it, we would have 10 different ideas and models. While dignity is difficult to delineate, we all can clearly articulate when we have NOT been treated with dignity. Dignity, in my opinion, means appreciating others as they are and treating them as THEY want to be treated.

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“Even if the student's life away from school is bleak and miserable, she/he will work if what she/he finds in school is satisfying.”

William Glasser

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Some suggestions for teachers to discuss about creating an atmosphere of dignity are:

1. Articulate and model a policy to prevent any form of prejudice, abuse, and bullying.
2. Emphasize dignity in every activity, ritual, and schoolwide event.
3. Treat every person that enters your building respectfully (ensure there is a process to know who is entering your building).
4. LISTEN to and support others, allowing everyone to express their opinions and beliefs in a safe and nurturing environment.
5. Provide techniques and solutions to identify those with low self-esteem issues and needing positive reinforcement.
6. Emphasize the self-worth of others by providing as many positive activities and choices as possible.
7. Provide a process for anyone feeling bullied or unsafe and communicate it to all.
8. Do whatever it takes to create a RESPECTFUL environment for all.

Now that we have defined dignity, what is respect? The dictionary reads, “To feel or show deferential regard for, esteem, to avoid violation of or interference with, a feeling of appreciation, the state of being regarded with honor or esteem.” Again, we could ask the same 10 people to define respect and give specific examples of respectful schools. To have fabulous communication, we must have respect. We must be cognizant of culture to understand respect.

Respect

Respect is more easily demonstrated through actions, words, programs, rituals, policies, and activities. Respect covers a vast amount of components including:

• Ourselves
• Others (looks, actions, and personalities)
• The environment
• Physical space
• Different viewpoints, philosophies, beliefs, and opinions
• Religion
• Diversity
• Gender
• Lifestyle choices
• Ethnic origin
• Physical and mental ability

FSSs recognize these components and have rich conversations about what happens in the building to provide respect to all.

My dear friend Gene Bedley, the executive director for the National Character Education Center, is the master of teaching respect. He has an entire program on ensuring your school teaches and models respect. Gene has eight rules of respect:

1. Everyone has dignity and worth. Human beings are valuable and unique. Each person is an unrepeatable miracle woven together like no other person.
2. Acknowledge and validate others' feelings and ideas. Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
3. Focused eye contact and the ability to repeat what others share will demonstrate active listening. The first step to effective listening is to stop talking.
4. When exchanging ideas with another person, seek first to understand by asking clarifying questions.
5. Recognize that your body language communicates as much as your words. Your actions speak so ...

Table of contents

• COVER
• Table of Contents
• ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
• ABOUT THE AUTHOR
• PREFACE
• INTRODUCTION
• CHAPTER 1: “Welcome!”: A Courteous Greeting, and Everyone Is Valued
• CHAPTER 2: Ambiance: A Positive Climate and Culture
• CHAPTER 3: Safety: Physical, Emotional, Social, and Intellectual
• CHAPTER 4: Menu: A Variety of Options Based on Our Needs
• CHAPTER 5: “This Way, Please”: An Effective Leader and Vision
• CHAPTER 6: “I'll Be Your Server”: A Team of Caring and Trained Adults
• CHAPTER 7: Communication: Succinct, Effective, and Ongoing
• CHAPTER 8: Satisfaction: We Left F.E.D. and Eager to Return
• CHAPTER 9: Comment Card: The Opportunity to Provide Feedback
• CHAPTER 10: Fun: An Environment That Everyone Enjoys
• CHAPTER 11: “Check, Please”: Reflection Shows the Experience Was Worth It
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