Gifts, Romance, and Consumer Culture

Yuko Minowa, Russell W. Belk

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2018
• ISBN:
  9781351385046
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Consumer Behaviour
• Index: Business

How do people communicate their romantic feelings? Gift giving is one way. Giving and receiving of gifts is a characteristic of intimate relationships. Gifts are a message, a form of communication with a tangible material object, about love, affection, or concern for the recipient. The "romantic gift" evokes a multitude of intertwined meanings: passion, intimacy, affection, persuasion, care, celebration, altruism, and nostalgia. They can also connote the negative images of obligation and reciprocity. Romantic gift giving may be practiced at rituals, during rites of passage, or for casual occasions, to affirm the continued importance of the romantic relationship. We may even romanticize the giving of gifts to the self, to nonhuman companions, and to others we do not know personally. If loving and giving are a practice, then romantic gift giving is a practice of loving with intimate—or would-be intimate—others.

This book addresses gift giving among consumers attempting to express and construct romantic love. It lies at the intersection of consumption, markets, and culture. In societies shaped by the globalizing neo-liberal economic order, increasing wealth disparity, and a partially digitized social environment that they help to co-construct, it may be time to rethink romantic love. Gift giving is a key arena to do so, as gifts make love tangible and act as carriers of meaning as well as cultural symbols.

In gift giving the meanings of romance are renewed, renegotiated, and reconstructed. Gifts, Romance, And Consumer Culture demonstrates a wide variety of scholarly work bearing on romantic gift giving using an interpretive consumer research perspective. The book introduces critical studies by scholars in this unfolding and new interdisciplinary field.

Section II
Romantic Gift-Giving

The Nature of Love

2
Are We a Perfect Match?

Roles for Market Mediators in Defining Perfect Gifts

Tonya Williams Bradford

Market mediation permeates much of everyday life, as firms employ algorithms to identify which offerings to complement a recent purchase or to recommend new offerings based on positive reviews by similar others. The prevalence of market mediation makes the engagement and acceptance of market partners to manage the most intimate aspects of life commonplace, such as identifying who to date, having children through artificial reproductive technologies, or identifying one’s “true” ancestry through DNA testing. Market mediation is optional for some transactions, however, there are others where such mediation is necessary, and even mandated, as with living organ donation. How does mandated market mediation influence experiences of gift-giving rituals within intimate relationships?

Western notions of romantic love inspire (and social norms require) individuals to demonstrate affection to one another in varying forms, including gift-giving. A quintessential exemplar of a gift inspired by romantic love is depicted in The Gifts of the Magi (Henry 1906). In this classic tale, an impoverished couple desires to provide one another with perfect gifts for Christmas. Each has a prized possession: the wife treasures her long hair, and the husband cherishes a gold watch that was passed down to him from his father and grandfather before him. The wife cuts her hair to obtain enough money to purchase a chain for her husband’s watch. The husband sells his watch to attain the amount of money necessary to buy the combs his wife has long admired to adorn her hair. Upon exchanging the gifts at Christmas, each realizes the other no longer has means to fully utilize their gifts, yet they each appreciate the romantic love represented by their respective gifts. The role of the market provides both the inspiration to represent and communicate love through specific offerings, as well as the outlets to fulfill those desires for these lovers. And, as gifts are more often purchased than made (Cheal 1988), opportunities for market involvement in gift-giving has become more prevalent.

While gifts generally convey emotion relative to a relationship between the gift-giver and their recipient, gifts between romantic partners also have an expectation that the gift parallels the unique and intimate relationship between the partners (Belk and Coon 1993; Sherry 1983). Gifts between loved ones may be given for a range of reasons including the commemoration of momentous occasions (e.g., planned gifts for anniversaries, birthdays, Sweetest Day, Valentine’s Day), as well reminders of their shared affection (e.g., spontaneous gifts of cards, flowers, candy). Be it spur of the moment or special occasions, archetypal gifts reflect thoughtful creation by a gift-giver to suit a particular gift-recipient, and to convey specific messages to that recipient within the context of the relationship. Consumer researchers adopt a view of gift-giving as a key social exchange, and explain gift-giving as a process, define roles for participants within the process, identify varying conditions which add to the complexity found in this form of exchange, and codify consequences for gift-giving (Belk and Coon 1993; Bradford and Sherry 2013; Joy 2001; Otnes, Lowrey, and Kim 1993). Across relationship types, the notion of giving the perfect gift is present (Belk 1996). While a perfect gift may nurture affection within romantic relationships, how does the (necessary) involvement of market mediators in determining the perfect gift influence the roles of gift-giver and gift-recipient?

Organ donation is, by definition, the perfect gift. It is a gift of luxury as it uniquely addresses a specific need, requires extraordinary sacrifice on behalf of the gift-giver, and may be met with delight by the recipient (Belk 1996). Transplantation of an organ may be perceived by most as a medical procedure, however, the laws governing living organ donation in the United States require that individuals freely gift an organ to another without payment or expectation of reciprocity. Further, institutions encouraging organ donation employ the language of “gift of life” when promoting living organ donation. Gifts of organs are like other gifts in that they require thought, convey affection, and are relevant for a specific recipient.

Organs, as gifts, differ from other types of gifts in that the market is not a resource for a gift, but rather a central participant. More specifically, market mediators employ clinical criteria to determine within whom a perfect gift resides, and to whom that gift may be given. Market mediators define the conditions under which the gift may be given, and dictate the relative timing of its presentation. And, gift-receipt is partitioned by market mediators as they segregate incorporation from reciprocation, and mediate opportunities to express appreciation. The incorporation of the gifted organ into the recipient’s lived experience is jealously guarded and managed by market mediators who continuously track the gifted organ’s performance. And, a gifted organ may be physiologically rejected, even as the gift is embraced emotionally. Finally, any notion of reciprocation is annihilated beginning with the donor qualification process that includes an assessment of one’s motives for participating to ensure that the organ is provided freely. Each component of the gift-giving process exists within organ donation, yet, the necessary participation of market mediators obfuscates the gift-giving process. Thus, organ donation provides an opportunity to explore how market mediation influences gift-giving.

A formal category of romantic relationship is marriage, where partners often state vows committing to stand by one another through varying conditions including “in sickness and in health.” Many partners are content to abide by the health aspect of the commitment, however, the sickness component is often unimaginable when the vow is made. Organ failure is one such manifestation of sickness that is most often not predictable (nor predicted). It is a relatively slow process that culminates in the need of a functioning organ. And for some spouses, the vow to remain with their partner through sickness engenders the desire to give an organ to their partner as the gift-giver anticipates such a gift will provide an opportunity for health to return. Thus, the desire to gift an organ is a function of a recipient’s medical condition (vs. gift occasion), and a potential gift-giver’s market defined match (vs. gift-giver knowledge of the recipient). This chapter considers how the necessitated presence of market mediators influences gift-giving processes, roles, and enactments in romantic love relationships as that love is under the physical, emotional, social, and psychological scrutiny of the market.

Organs as Gifts

Objects are perceived as neutral until transformed into gifts symbolic of fences or bridges within the realm of relationships (Douglas and Isher-wood 1979). By virtue of transmitting the hopes, wishes, and desires of the gift-giver into an offering, it is transformed into a gift that is imbued with symbolism (Gregory 1982; Hyde 1979; Mauss 1967), and its meaning is valued more than the benefits accrued from use of the material object (Belk 1996; Wolfinbarger 1990). As symbols, gifts represent relational ties and communicate expectations from the giver to the recipient (Bradford 2009; Caplow 1984). Gifts establish and maintain roles in social relationships (Otnes et al. 1993), fortify social bonds (Mauss 1967), alter relationships (Cheal 1988), and serve higher-order needs of love, self-esteem, or self-actualization (Belk 1996; Offer 1997).

Studies of gift-giving first entered into the consumer behavior literature over three decades ago and emphasized the gift-giver (Belk 1976). Scholars characterize gift-giving as a social exchange and communication process (Giesler 2006; Mauss 1967; Sherry 1983; Wooten 2000) and theorize it primarily with dyads of givers and recipients (Belk and Coon 1993; Lowrey, Otnes, and Ruth 2004; Sherry 1983; Wooten 2000). As described by Sherry (1983), the process of gift-giving is composed of three parts: gestation, prestation, and reformulation. Gestation is defined as the transformation of a commodity into a gift. Gestation is orchestrated by the gift-giver and most often necessitates interaction between individuals and the market primarily retailers that are selected by gift-givers on a range of criteria (e.g., gift occasion, assortment, convenience, price). Prestation tends to be a more private moment when the gift-giver presents the gift to the gift-recipient, and, ideally, they accept it. Reformulation is governed primarily by the recipient, as gifts may be embraced as hoped by the gift-giver or disposed of through regifting, resale, or destruction (Sherry 1983; Sherry, McGrath, and Levy 1992). That gift-giving model parallels the consumption process of the gift-giver’s acquisition (gestation), use (prestation), and disposal (reformulation) of market offerings selected and given as gifts.

The sharing of emotions through gifts communicates messages about the relationship between the giver and the recipient. Expressive gifts— those communicating meaning and affect—are more likely to be given in the context of intimate relationships, such as those with family and close friends. Instrumental gifts—those addressing social norms and obligations—are most likely given in the context of more distant relationships (Joy 2001; Sherry 1983). Gifts are used to socialize recipients into appropriate values and behaviors (Bradford 2009); to engage in relationships that are important, and thus, ought not be taken for granted (Caplow 1982); to acknowledge close others in furtherance of strengthening relationships (Joy 2001); and, to guide and control the behaviors of others (Bradford 2009; Camerer 1988; Schwartz 1967).

There are different perspectives of the body when considering organ donation, and explicit in each perspective is that such a donation is a sacred gift (Belk 1990). Social norms for gift-giving in romantic relationships dictate that individuals give expressive gifts that are stripped of market essence to convey love. Though, it is unlikely that a gift-giver will repackage a gift acquired from Tiffany and packaged in its signature box and bow because such an affiliation contributes to the gift’s symbolism and essence. Organs do not have market brands, however, as they are sourced from individuals, each organ does have an indelible marker of belonging represented by one’s DNA, a personal brand. When individuals experience organ failure, the “brand” of gifted organ best suited to help them is one that is a clinical match, most likely found in a blood relative.

A perfect gift is one that encompasses extraordinary sacrifice by gift-givers, represents luxury for gift recipients, and inspires surprise and delight for recipients (Belk 1996). Such gifts occur due to foreknowledge of the recipient by the gift-giver, which likely involves study (Caplow 1984; Cheal 1988; Davis 1972; Otnes et al. 1993; Sherry et al. 1992; Sherry et al. 1993). Forethought is evident in planning, searching, shopping, selecting, preparing, and investing objects with love and care (Sherry et al. 1992). Planning and searching include contemplation of the desired response from the recipient that is sought by a gift-giver. The formulation of a desired response is informed by the gift-giver’s evaluation of the recipient with respect to the categories of value, esteem, and appreciation (Wooten 2000). Shopping and selecting reflect investments of time and money (Belk 1996; Sherry 1983). Each stage serves to imbue meaning and affect into objects thereby transforming them into gifts, where meaning is transferred to recipients with the presentation of gifts. Though several types of gift-giving and gifts are identified by consumer researchers, gift-givers are particularly challenged when creating gifts for the infirm where the perfect gift is that of health (Otnes et al. 1993).

Organ donation is possible with a perfect match. This match is determined first by a clinical match that is defined by the market, tested by market mediators, and managed by the same. Such a match is a rare occurrence—even between siblings—making the possibility for gift-giving between loved ones even more awe-inspiring. And, when one member of a romantic relationship is in need of a kidney, it is most often the other member who immediately volunteers to gift the organ. What roles do market mediators play in gift-giving when individuals who are romantically involved are inspired to volunteer for such gift-giving? How does the necessity of market mediators influence gifts and gift-giving?

Two Cases of Living Organ Donation

Living organ donation is a multifaceted medical process where healthy organs are removed from an individual to replace the function that is lacking in another. Such replacement results from an extensive clinical matching and clearance protocol, followed by organ harvest and transplantation. Opportunities for living organ donation are becoming common practice as medical innovations, together with hea...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• List of Illustrations
• List of Contributors
• Acknowledgments
• Section I Overview
• SECTION II Romantic Gift-Giving: The Nature of Love
• Section III Romantic Gift-Giving Contexts
• Section IV Romantic Gift-Giving: Unselfishness and Self-Interest
• Conclusion
• Epilogue
• Index