A Flea in Her Ear: Full Text and Introduction (NHB Drama Classics)

Georges Feydeau

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2014
• ISBN:
  9781780014234
• Topic: Littérature
• Subtopic: Théâtre

Drama Classics series

The world's great plays at a great little price.

Each pocket-sized volume contains:

a full introduction
an author biography notes on historical and theatrical context
a plot synopsis key dates
a further reading list a glossary of unusual words and phrases (English-language texts)

A Flea in her Ear is a classic French farce from 1907.

A suspicious wife sets a trap to expose her supposedly faithless husband. The husband however bears an uncanny resemblance to a drunken porter, and when circumstances bring the two into proximity in the seedy Hotel Casablanca, all hell breaks loose.

With an introduction by Stephen Mulrine.

A FLEA IN HER EAR

Characters

At Chandebise’s house

VICTOR-EMMANUEL CHANDEBISE

RAYMONDE, his wife

CAMILLE, his nephew

TOURNEL

DR FINACHE

DON CARLOS HOMÉNIDÈS DE HISTANGUA

LUCIENNE, his wife

ÉTIENNE, the manservant

ANTOINETTE, his wife, the cook

At the Hotel Casablanca

FERRAILLON, manager

POCHE, drunken porter

RUGBY, English guest

BAPTISTIN, Ferraillon’s doddery old relative

OLYMPE, Ferraillon’s wife

EUGÉNIE, the maid

The action takes place in Paris in summer: Acts One and Three in Chandebise’s apartment, Act Two in the Hotel Casablanca.

Chandebise and Poche are played by the same actor. Camille has no roof to his mouth, and is unable to pronounce any con sonants unless he inserts an artificial palate into his mouth. The original French was printed from the prompt-script, and was full of detailed instructions on how to say the lines and play the business. In this translation, I have pruned these to essentials.

Act One

CHANDEBISE’s elegantly-furnished drawing room. Rear C, wide bay with double door to the hall outside (which we imagine leads to the front door of the apartment and the main stairwell of the building). Right and left of this, single doors to other parts of the apartment. Downstage left, window; downstage right, door. Fireplace, sofa, chairs, table and chairs, writing-desk. In the hall (visible when the main doors are open): table with telephone. As the curtain rises, CAMILLE is standing by the writing-desk, reading a document which he has taken from one of the drawers. After a moment, ANTOINETTE creeps in, tiptoes up behind him, takes his head in her hands from behind and gives him a quick kiss.

CAMILLE (startled). For Heaven’s sake! [We hear ‘O-E-E-AKE’. He will speak like this, vowels only, throughout this Act.]

ANTOINETTE. It’s all right, they’re out.

CAMILLE. I see.

ANTOINETTE. Come on, then. Come on!

CAMILLE looks at her for a moment, then gives her a long kiss. As if on cue, enter ÉTIENNE, ushering in FINACHE.

ÉTIENNE. This way, Doctor.

ANTOINETTE and CAMILLE. Oh!

They spring apart. CAMILLE bolts out right. ANTOINETTE leaps left.

ÉTIENNE. What are you doing here?

ANTOINETTE. Me? Dinner. Dinner-menu.

ÉTIENNE. They’ve gone out. You know they’ve gone out. Get back to the kitchen. No cooks in the drawing room.

ANTOINETTE. But it’s –

ÉTIENNE. Hup, hup, hup!

Exit ANTOINETTE. FINACHE sits.

FINACHE. You’re very firm with her.

ÉTIENNE. All husbands should be. If you don’t wear the trousers, they do. I’m not having that.

FINACHE. Bravo.

ÉTIENNE. She’s a tigress, doctor. Loyal . . . but jealous. A tigress. Creeps about the house, spies on me. It’s incredible.

FINACHE. Incredible.

ÉTIENNE. I am in charge.

FINACHE. Of course. (Rising.) Well, if Monsieur isn’t here . . .

ÉTIENNE. That’s all right. I’m here. I’ll talk to you.

FINACHE. How thoughtful. But I’d hate to –

ÉTIENNE. I’ve nothing else to do.

FINACHE. Oh, in that case . . . You don’t know when he’ll be back, Monsieur?

ÉTIENNE. Twenty minutes, at least.

FINACHE. H’m.

He takes his hat from the table and puts it on. Goes upstage.

Well, look, I’d love to stay, but –

ÉTIENNE. Oh, Monsieur . . .

FINACHE. No, no. We must be disciplined. I’ve a patient down the road. I can just polish him off.

ÉTIENNE (scandalised). Monsieur!

FINACHE. Good grief, I don’t mean that. I hang on to my patients. Bread and butter. I mean, I’ll see him and be back in twenty minutes.

ÉTIENNE. That’s quite all right . . .

FINACHE. How kind.

False exit.

That reminds me. If Monsieur comes back before I do . . .

He takes out a note.

. . . please give him this. Tell him I’ve examined the client, he’s in perfect health and he’s an excellent risk.

ÉTIENNE (unconcerned). Fine.

FINACHE (playing to him). I know what you mean.

ÉTIENNE (shrugging). Comme ci comme ça.

FINACHE. Exactly. But business is business. Boston Life Assurance, Paris Branch, Paris and District, he had to know, your employer.

ÉTIENNE (familiarly). The boss, I know.

FINACHE. Ahem.

ÉTIENNE. Oh, excuse me.

FINACHE. No, no. It’s up to you. T...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• Introduction and Translator’s Note
• For Further Reading
• Feudeau: Key Dates
• A Flea in Her Ear
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information