JOE
Damien came to our school halfway through the term.
He was different from everybody else there.
Even his uniform made him look good.
He had a long fringe, bleached, and he had a tan.
He always smoked and he never went home at lunchtime. I found out that he didnāt live too far away, and he probably had the coolest bike in the whole school, but at lunchtime, he hung around.
I started smoking too, so I could talk to him at little break behind the religion room. It was completely fucking disgusting.
You were supposed to be dying for a pull and about nine blokes would be sharing a fag. By the time it came around to you it was just a soaking-wet filter.
And you had to drag on it like youād die without it.
But I got to talk to Damien.
I pretended my bike was broken and I brought sandwiches in so I could hang around at big break.
The lads who stayed in all got chips in the Chinese, which I wouldnāt get because of what my dad had told me about them.
The lads who ate them all had huge spots, except for Damien.
He was only in three of my classes, and one of them was civics, which we only had once a week, but I could never wait for him to come in.
He was never on time and in the mornings if I was in a room where I could see the driveway, Iād watch for him.
I never once saw him arrive but heād always be there.
Thatās the way it is when you like someone ā you can never see them.
I tried to tell Frank, my brother, about Damien, but he called me a poofter and told me to go asleep.
Frank was five years older than me and worked with my dad in our chipper.
I only worked there during the holidays.
It was never busy till then.
No one comes to the seaside when itās raining, which is weird, because thatās when I liked it best.
When it was all grey and the waves splashed up on the road is when I liked it.
Those sort of days my dad had a pint in Reynolds and read the paper.
I used to go in and sit with him sometimes.
Like on a Saturday.
He told me once that drinking is no way for a man to sort anything out, but that he only found out too late.
I told him not to be silly.
Frank said that Dadās problems were none of his doing.
He owed a big loan to Simple Simon McCurdie.
Simple Simon was a councillor and owned the bookies down the street.
Frank said he was far from simple.
We didnāt know how he got the name.
But he had it.
And thatās what we called him.
Iām quite shrewd and I know how to do things in ways that donāt look really obvious.
Thatās how I made friends with Damien.
Weād just find ourselves standing together.
I saw what bands he had, written on his bag and on his journal.
I let on to like them too.
And because heād come halfway through the term, he didnāt know anyone.
Sometimes Iād pretend not to see him and heād still come over to me.
So I knew he liked me.
He was kicked out of his last school for being on the mitch and smoking in PE.
He had told a teacher to fuck off and she had just got out of hospital or something and she started crying.
He was lucky to get into our school because not many places would take someone like that.
But then, my school was a dump.
Someone who lived near Damien said he hadnāt been expelled at all.
He had left because he was always being slagged for only having one ball.
But somebody always says something.
I reckon our school had pity on him because he needed somewhere to do his leaving.
He told me about the girls heād shagged and how he could always tell when someone was a virgin.
I blushed so badly that I had to pretend to blow my nose so he wouldnāt see.
He asked me to bonk off school one Friday.
Iād never done it before and I knew Iād be killed.
But Damien said he was an expert forger and heād give me a brilliant note.
We arranged to meet at the roundabout on the dual carriageway at nine oā clock.
I was waiting for ages.
I thought everyone was looking at me.
And I knew that Miss Brosnan, our biology teacher, used to drive around looking for boys on the mitch when she had a free class. She had huge tits and we used to pretend there was something wrong with the microscopes so sheād bend over to have a look.
I was imagining her catching me on the mitch and making me fuck her as a punishment.
I was too scared to go off on my own and I was going to go in late and get detention.
But then Damien showed up.
He didnāt even have his uniform on.
We cycled around the suburbs and stayed off the main roads. It felt brilliant.
All the people were at work.
I saw women wheeling kids out of the supermarket and I thought about me being with my mum when I was like that.
We went into the park.
It was dark under the trees and we scrambled up and down the hills.
Then it was nearly one and we sat down and ...
