Dublin Carol (NHB Modern Plays)

Conor McPherson

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2015
• ISBN:
  9781780014074
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Drama
• Index: Literature

A magical, compelling play from the author of The Weir.

Present day Dublin. Christmas Eve. Undertaker John Plunkett is sharing memories of funerals over the years and dispensing advice to his young assistant. But the arrival of his daughter Mary - estranged, grown-up - shows him the time has come to face up to his own disastrous past. Otherwise, he will never be able to create some kind of truce with his fear of the future.

'a theatrical spellbinder' - Daily Telegraph

'McPherson's short play is excellent: tough on love and the causes of love; profoundly sympathetic and damning about the denizens of the drunk tank.' - Time Out

DUBLIN CAROL

Dublin Carol was first performed at the Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, Sloane Square, London on 7 January 2000. The cast was as follows:

MARK	Andrew Scott
JOHN	Brian Cox
MARY	Bronagh Gallagher

Director	Ian Rickson
Designer	Rae Smith
Lighting Designer	Paule Constable
Music	Stephen Warbeck

Characters

JOHN, late fifties

MARK, early twenties

MARY, thirties

The play is set over one day, 24 December:

Part One: late morning.

Part Two: early afternoon.

Part Three: late afternoon.

The action takes place in an office on the Northside of Dublin, around Fairview or the North Strand Road.

Part One

An office. Dublin. The present.

The office is furnished with old wooden desks, carpet, comfortable chairs, filing cabinets, tasteful paintings, elaborate lamps. But all a bit old and musty. In one corner is a sink with cups, teapot, kettle, etc. There is an electric fire. There are terribly scrawny Christmas decorations. A few fairy lights. A foot-high plastic Christmas tree on one of the desks. A little advent calendar with just a few doors left to open.

MARK, a young man of about twenty or twenty-one comes in. He wears a black suit and an overcoat. He looks a bit wet. He stands in the office for a few moments by himself, as though waiting to be told what to do.

Then JOHN comes in. He’s in his fifties. He also wears a black suit and overcoat. He’s not quite as wet as MARK.

JOHN. Sorry. I had to make a call. Get your wet gear off, Mark, yeah?

MARK. Yeah.

JOHN. I’ll put the kettle on.

JOHN fills the kettle. MARK takes his coat off and looks for somewhere to put it. He drapes it over a chair and stands with his hands in his pockets.

Plug in that old fire there.

MARK goes down beside a desk and plugs the fire in.

You did very well.

MARK. Really?

JOHN. Oh yeah.

JOHN takes off his coat and takes a hanger from a hook on the door. He hangs his coat up. He takes a towel from beside the sink and tosses it to MARK. MARK rubs his hair.

Give your head a rub.

MARK. Thanks Mr Plunkett.

JOHN. Sit down there.

MARK sits on a chair. JOHN stays near the sink and farts around with the tea. He takes a small bottle of whiskey from a drawer and pours some into a cup.

I’m not gonna offer you any of this, son. Your ma’d kill me. I’m old. I’ll die if I don’t drink this.

MARK (laughs). That’s alright.

JOHN. I have to have a sup of this.

Pause.

You can have a cup of tea in a minute. (Short pause.) When the kettle boils up. You know what I mean?

They laugh. (NB: any laughter denoted between the characters need not be literal. Tiny breaths or smiles may suffice and it’s up to the actors to find their own rhythm and pitch in rehearsal.)

Yeah . . . There’s an old pub there across the road, you know? The Strand.

MARK. Yeah I was in there.

JOHN. Yeah?

MARK. Yeah I was in there last night. After work. My girlfriend came down and met me there.

JOHN. Yeah?

MARK. Yeah. She knew it.

JOHN. Yeah?

MARK. Yeah. She knew it from before. She used to work down there in the stationery place.

JOHN. Oh right. Where’s she from?

MARK. Marino.

JOHN. Ah well, then, you know?

MARK. Yeah.

JOHN. Up the road.

MARK. Yeah.

JOHN. She’s only down the road. A lot of people would know it. Your man does give the regulars a Christmas drink and all this.

MARK. Yeah. It was fairly busy. A lot of people going home from work.

JOHN. Ah yeah, they do a, they used to always do a nice lunch, and you’d get all the people going in there for their nosh. You used to see a lot of priests going in. And that’s, did you ever hear that, that’s a sign the food is good, you know?

They laugh.

Because they know what side their bread is buttered on. That’s a little hint for you there now. The old girlfriend, ha? Does she still work up there?

MARK. No she’s an air hostess.

JOHN. Oh ho!

MARK laughs.

Very ‘How’s it fuckin’ goin’ . . . ’

MARK (slightly embarrassed). Yep.

JOHN. The uniform.

MARK. Yep.

JOHN. Did you meet her on a plane?

MARK. Nah. Met her at a party.

JOHN. With the uniform and all.

MARK (laughs, thinks). I don’t like the uniform.

JOHN. Why?

MARK. I don’t know. It makes her legs look fat.

JOHN. Ah now here. Where are you going with that kind of talk? Bloody air hostess, man.

MARK. Well you’re going a bit mad about it.

They laugh.

JOHN. I know. What’s her name?

MARK. Kim.

JOHN. Kim?

MARK. Yeah.

JOHN. That’s eh, that’s not an Irish name.

MARK. Mm. I don’t know what it is.

JOHN. Is it short for something?

MARK. I don’t know.

JOHN. Kipling or . . . Nn. What’s she like?

MARK. Em. She’s sort of dark. Like her skin is kind of dark.

JOHN. What, sort of tanned or kind of yellowy?

MARK (laughs). Yeah kind of.

JOHN. Was she on her holidays?

MARK. No. She just is.

JOHN. Janey Mack. There’s people’d love that, you know?

MARK. Yeah.

JOHN. Are you going out long?

MARK. Going out a year and three months.

JOHN. Oh my God. This is the big one, ha?

MARK. You never know.

JOHN. If it’s there, it’s there, you know? But ah . . . (Thinks better of what he is going to say.) . . . you know? How old are you, son?

MARK. Twenty.

JOHN. Jesus. Twenty. God. I don’t know. Grasp the nettle.

(Short pause.) But you obviously don’t have any trouble there. In that department.

MARK (good-naturedly). Give me a break, will you?

JOHN. I’m sorry. Hangover. Has me chatty. You did very well today, do you know that?

MARK. Did I really?

JOHN. Oh yeah. Very good. You’re a natural.

MARK grimaces slightly as if to say ‘This better not be my calling.’

MARK. Do you not find it kind of horrible, though?

JOHN. Ah that person was young, Mark. I’m telling you, it’s not usually like that. People get older, they’re naturally kind of ready for it, you know? And everybody knows that. And it’s all a few quid for the priest and soup and sandwiches in the Addison Lodge. You know? It’s different with old people. You get used to it. You were very good. Helping that girl.

MARK (hoping JOHN agrees). She couldn’t drive.

JOHN (matter-of-factly). No. (Sly pause.) What do you reckon? Was she a bit on the side.

MARK (ca...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• Dublin Carol
• Afterword
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information