The History of Pompey the Little

Or The Life and Adventures of a Lap-Dog

Francis Coventry, Robert Adams Day

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9780429656026
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Literary Criticism
• Index: Literature

Originally published in 1974, this volume of The History of Pompey the Little includes a critical introduction and a biographical sketch of the author based on new material from unpublished documents, together with explanatory notes for the novel's many classical and contemporary allusions.

Francis Coventry's The History of Pompey the Little was the talk of London in 1751; it continued to captivate readers throughout the century. Satirizing notable persons and events of its day, it startled the public by having as its 'hero' a Bologna lapdog, and created a new and popular form in English fiction - the 'spy'-novel with a non-human observer.

THE HISTORY OF

Pompey the Little.

BOOK I

CHAPTER I

A Panegyric upon Dogs, together with some Observations on modern Novels and Romances.

VARIOUS and wonderful, in all Ages, have been the Actions of Dogs; and if I should set myself to collect, from Poets and Historians, the many Passages that make honourable mention of them, I should compose a Work much too large and voluminous for the Patience of any modem Reader. But as the Politicians of the Age, and Men of Gravity may be apt to censure me for misspending my Time in writing the Adventures of a Lap-dog, when there are so many modern Heroes, whose illustrious Actions call loudly for the Pen of an Historian; it will not be amiss to detain the Reader, in the Entrance of this Work, with a short Panegyric on the canine Race, to justify my undertaking it.

AND can we, without the basest Ingratitude, think ill of an Animal, that has ever honoured Mankind with his Company and Friendship, from the Beginning of the World to the present Moment? While all other Creatures are in a State of Enmity with us, some flying into Woods and Wildernesses to escape our Tyranny, and others requiring to be restrained with Bridles and Fences in close Confinement; Dogs alone enter into voluntary Friendship with us, and of their own accord make their Residence among us.

NOR do they trouble us only with officious Fidelity, and useless Good-will, but take care to earn their Livelihood by many meritorious Services: they guard our Houses, supply our Tables with Provision, amuse our leisure Hours, and discover Plots to the Government.¹ Nay, I have heard of a Dog’s making a Syllogism; which cannot fail to endear him to our two famous Universities, where his Brother-Logicians are so honoured and distinguished for their Skill in that useful Science.

AFTER these extraordinary Instances of Sagacity and Merit, it may be thought too ludicrous, perhaps, to mention the Capacity they have often discovered, for playing at Cards, Fiddling, Dancing, and other polite Accomplishments; yet I cannot help relating a little Story, which formerly happened at the Play-house in Lincolns-Inn-Fields.²

THERE was, at that Time, the same Emulation between the two Houses, as there is at present between the great Common-wealths of Drury-Lane and Covent-Garden;³ each of them striving to amuse the Town with various Feats of Activity, when they began to grow tired of Sense, Wit, and Action. At length, the Managers of the House at Lincolns-Inn-Fields, possessed with a happy Turn of Thought, introduced a Dance of Dogs; who were dressed in French Characters, to make the Representation more ridiculous, and acquitted themselves for several Evenings to the universal Delight and Improvement of the Town. But one unfortunate Night, a malicious Wag behind the Scenes, threw down among them the Leg of a Fowl, which he had brought thither in his Pocket for that Purpose. Instantly all was in Confusion; the Marquis shook off his Peruke, Mademoiselle dropp’d her Hoop-petticoat, the Fidler threw away his Violin, and all fell to scrambling for the Prize that was thrown among them.—But let us return to graver Matter.

IF we look back into ancient History, we shall find the wisest and most celebrated Nations of Antiquity, as it were, contending with one another, which should pay the greatest Honour to Dogs. The old Astronomers denominated Stars after their Name; and the Egyptians in particular, a sapient and venerable People, worshipped a Dog¹ among the principal of their Divinities. The Poets represent Diana, as spending great Part of her Life among a Pack of Hounds, which I mention for the Honour of the Country Gentlemen of Great Britain; and we know that the illustrious Theseus dedicated much of his Time to the same Companions.²

JULIUS POLLUX³ informs us, that the Art of dying purple and scarlet Cloth was first found out by Hercules’s Dog, who roving along the Sea-coast, and accidentally eating of the Fish Murex, or Purpura, his lips became tinged with that Colour; from whence the Tyrians first took the Hint of the purple Manufacture, and to this lucky Event our fine Gentlemen of the Army are indebted for the scarlet, with which they subdue the Hearts of so many fair Ladies.

BUT nothing can give us a more exalted Idea of these illustrious Animals, than to consider, that formerly, in old Greece, they founded a Sect of Philosophy; the Members whereof took the Name of Cynics, and were gloriously ambitious of assimilating themselves to the Manners and Behaviour of that Animal, from whom they derived their Title.

AND that the Ladies of Greece had as great a Fondness for them as the Men, may be collected from the Story which Lucian relates¹ of a certain Philosopher; who in the Excess of his Complaisance to a Woman of Fashion, on whom he depended for Support, took up her favourite Lap-Dog one Day, and attempted to caress and kiss it; but the little Creature, not being used to the rude Gripe of philosophic Hands, found his Loins affected in such a manner, that he was obliged to water the Sage’s Beard, as he held him to his Mouth; which so discomposed that principal, if not only Seat of his Wisdom, as excited Laughter in all the Beholders.

SUCH was the Reverence paid to them among the Nations of Antiquity; and if we descend to later Times, we shall not want Examples in our own Days and Nation, of great Men’s devoting themselves to Dogs. King Charles the Second, of pious and immortal Memory, came always to the Council-board accompanied with a favourite Spaniel; who propagated his Breed, and scattered his Image through the Land,² almost as extensively as his Royal Master. His Successor, King James, of pious and immortal Memory likewise, was distinguished for the same Attachment to these four-footed Worthies; and ’tis reported of him, that being once in a dangerous Storm at Sea, and obliged to quit the Ship for his Life, he roar’d aloud with a most vehement Voice, as his principal Concern, to save the Dogs [and colonel Churchill].³ But why need we multiply Examples? The greatest Heroes and Beauties have not been ashamed to erect Monuments to them in their Gardens, nor the greatest Wits and Poets to write their Epitaphs.⁴ Bishops have intrusted them with their Secrets, and Prime-Ministers deigned to receive Information from them, when Treason and Conspiracies were hatching against the Government.⁵ Islands likewise,⁶ as well as Stars, have been called after their Names; so that I hope no one will dare to think me idly employed in composing the following Work: or if any should, let him own himself ignorant of ancient and modern History, let him confess himself an Enemy to his Country, and ungrateful to the Benefactors of Great Britain.

AND as no Exception can reasonably be taken against the Dignity of my Hero, much less can I expect any will arise against the Nature of this Work, which one of my Cotemporaries declares to be an Epic Poem in Prose;¹ and I cannot help promising myself some Encouragement, in this Life-writing Age especially, where no Character is thought too inconsiderable to engage the public Notice, or too abandoned to be set up as a Pattern of Imitation. The lowest and most contemptible Vagrants, Parish-Girls, Chamber-Maids, Pick-Pockets, and Highwaymen, find Historians to record their Praises, and Readers to wonder at their Exploits: Star-Gazers, superannuated Strumpets, quarrelling Lovers, all think themselves authorized to appeal to the Publick, and to write Apologies for their Lives. Even the Prisons and Stews are ransacked to find Materials for Novels and Romances. [Thus we have seen the memoirs of a lady of pleasure, and the memoirs of a lady of quality; both written with the same public-spirited aim, of initiating the unexperienced part of the female sex into the hidden mysteries of love; only that the former work has rather a greater air of chastity, if possible, than the latter.]² Thus, I am told, that illustrious Mimic Mr. F—t, when all other Expedients fail him, and he shall be no longer able to raise a Kind of Tax, if I may so call it, from Tea, Coffee, Chocolate, and Marriages,³ designs, as the last Effort of his Wit, to oblige the World with an accurate History of his own Life; with which View one may suppose he takes care to chequer it with so many extraordinary Occurrences, and selects such Adventures as will best serve hereafter to amaze and astonish his Readers.

THIS then being the Case, I hope the very Superiority of the Character here treated of, above the Heroes of common Romances, will procure it a favourable Reception, altho’ perhaps I may fall short of my great Cotemporaries in the Elegance of Style, and Graces of Language. For when such Multitudes of Lives are daily offered to the Publick, written by the saddest Dogs, or of the saddest Dogs of the Times, it may be considered as some little Merit to have chosen a Subject worthy the Dignity of History; and in this single View I may be allowed to paragon myself with the incomparable Writer of the Life of Cicero,¹ in that I have deserted the beaten Track of Biographers, and chosen a Subject worthy the Attention of polite and classical Readers.

HAVING detained the Reader with this little necessary Introduction, I now proceed to open the Birth and Parentage of my Hero.

CHAPTER II

The Birth, Parentage, Education, and Travels of a Lap-Dog.

POMPEY, the Son of Julio and Phyllis, was born A. D. 1735 at Bologna in Italy, a Place famous for Lap-Dogs and Sausages. Both his Parents were of the most illustrious Families, descended from a long Train of Ancestors, who had figured in many Parts of Europe, and lived in Intimacy with the greatest Men of the Times. They had frequented the Chambers of the proudest Beauties, and had Access to the Closets of the greatest Princes; Cardinals, Kings, Popes, and Emperors were all happy in their Acquaintance; and I am told the elder Branch of the Family now lives with his present Holiness in the papal Palace at Rome.

BUT Julio, the Father of my Hero, being a younger Brother of a numerous Family, fell to the Share of an Italian Nobleman at Bologna; from whom I heard a Story of him, redounding so much to his Credit, that it would be an Injury to his Memory not to relate it; especially as it is the Duty of an Historian to derive his Hero from honourable Ancestors, and to introduce him into the World with all the Eclat and Renown he can.

IT seems the City of Bologna being greatly over-stocked with Dogs, the Inhabitants of the Place are obliged at certain Seasons of the Year to scatter poisoned Sausages up and down the Streets for their Destruction; by which Means the Multitude of them is reduced to a more tolerable Number. Now Julio having got abroad one Morning by the Carelessness of Servants into the Streets, was unwisely tempted to eat of these pernicious Cates;¹ which immediately threw him into a violent Fit of Illness: But being seasonably relieved with Emetics, and having a good Constitution, he struggled thro’ the Distemper; and ever afterwards remembering what himself had escaped, out of Pity to his Brethren, who might possibly undergo the same Fate, he was observed to employ himself during the whole Sausage-Season, in carrying these poisonous Baits away one by one in his Mouth, and throwing them into the River that runs by the City. But to return.

THE Italian Nobleman above-mentioned had an Intrigue with a celebrated Courtesan of Bologna, and little Julio often attending him when he made his Visits to her, (as it is the Nature of all Servants to imitate the Vices of their Masters,) he also commenced an Affair of Gallantry with a Favourite little Bitch named Phyllis, at that Time the Darling of this Fille de Joye. For a long while she rejected his Courtship with Disdain, and received him with that Coyness, which Beauties of her Sex know very well how to counterfeit; but at length in a little Closet devoted to Venus, the happy Lover accomplished his Desires, and Phyllis soon gave Signs of Pregnancy.

I HAVE not been able to learn whether my Hero was introduced into the World with any Prodigies preceding his Birth; and tho’ the Practice of most Historians might authorize me to invent them, I think it most ingenuous to confess, as well as most probable to conclude, that Nature did not put herself to any miraculous Expence on this Occasion. Miracles are unquestionably ceased in this Century, whatever they might be in some former ones; there needs no Dr. Middleton to convince us of this; and I scarce think Dr. Ch——n¹ himself would have the Hardiness to support me, if I should venture to relate one in the present Age.

BE it sufficient then to say, that on the 25th of May N. S.² 1735, Pompey made his first Appearance in the World at Bologna; on which Day, as far as I can learn, the Sun shone just as usual, and Nature wore exactly the same Aspect as upon any other Day in the Year.

ABOUT this Time an English Gentleman, who was making the Tour of Europe, to enrich himself in foreign Manners and foreign Cloaths, happened to be residing at Bologna. And as one great End of modern Travelling is the Pleasure of intriguing with Women of all Nations and Languages, he was introduced to visit the Lady above-mentioned, who was at that Time the fashionable and foremost Courtesan of the Place. Little Pompey having now opened his Eyes and learnt the Use of his Legs, was admitted to frolic about the Room, as his Mistress sat at her Toilet or presided at her Tea-Table. On these Occasions her Gallants never failed to play with him, and many pretty Dialogues often arose concerning him which perhaps might make a Figure in a modern Comedy. Every one had something to say to the little Favourite, who seemed proud to be taken Notice of, and by many significant Gestures would often make believe he understood the Compliments that were paid him.

BUT nobody distinguished himself more on this Subject than our English Hillario; who had now made a considerable Progress in the Affections of his Mistress: For partly the Recommendation of his Person, but chiefly the Profusion of his Expences made her think him a very desireable Lover; and as she saw that his ruling Passion was Vanity, she was too good a Dissembler, and too much a Mistress of her Trade, not to flatter this Weakness for her own Ends. This so elated the Spirits of Hillario, that he surveyed himself every Day with Increase of Pleasure at his Glass, and took a Pride on all Occasions to shew how much he was distinguished, as he thought, above any of her antient Admirers. Resolving therefore to out-do them all as much in Magnificence, as he imagined he did in the Success of his Love, he was continually making her the most costly Presents, and among other Things, presented Master Pompey with a Collar studded with Diamonds. This so tickled the little Animal’s Vanity, being the first Ornament he had ever worn, that he would eat Biscuit from Hillario’s Hands with twice the Pleasure, with which he received it from any other Person’s; and Hillario made him the Occasion of conveying indirect Compliments to his Mistress. Sometimes he would swear, he believed it was in her Power to impart Beauty to her very Dogs, and when she smiled at the Staleness of the Conceit,¹ he, imagining her charmed with his Wit, would grow transported with Gaiety, and practise all the fashionable Airs that Custom prescribes to an Intrigue.

BUT the Time came at length that this gay Gentl...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Original Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• INTRODUCTION
• ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
• NOTE ON THE TEXT
• SELECT BIBLIOGRAPHY
• A CHRONOLOGY OF FRANCIS COVENTRY
• A BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE
• DEDICATION
• The History of Pompey the Little
• BOOK II
• APPENDIX
• EXPLANATORY NOTES