Scene One
Kurt, a silver fox, is at home and preparing for Travisās return from rehearsal. He has set the dining room table. Everything is perfect. There is a pot on the stove that he is tending to, and he is humming to himself. He hears a key in the lock. He runs over to his iPod, which is connected to massive speakers. The music comes on just as Travis enters. Itās Ethel Merman singing āMarrying for Love.ā Travis, a very handsome young man of twenty-four, is caught off guard, and says something incomprehensible to indicate his incomprehension . . .
Kurt puts his hand to Travisās lips.
Kurt: Shhh.
Kurt gently takes the bottle of wine Travis was holding and places it on the sideboard. Kurt takes Travis in his arms and they dance to the music. This goes on for about thirty seconds, until Kurt dips Travis for a romantic kiss ā they are both dance professionals, so this has a certain flair ā then they come up. Kurt stares at Travis for a moment and then turns the music off.
Travis: How romantic.
Kurt: Pardon me, but itās my middle name.
Travis: One certainly couldnāt ever forget that you started your life as a dance instructor.
Kurt: Or that you are a stupendous dancer.
Travis: Well I donāt think stupendous is ā
Kurt: You are stupendous in every way. Do you know that? Iām very lucky to have you.
Travis: No, Iām lucky to have you.
Kurt: Look at me, an old man.
Travis: Youāre a dusky forty-seven.
Kurt: Dusky? What does that mean?
Travis: As beautiful as . . . dusk. I donāt know. Donāt analyze. Analysis is . . . a bad thing.
Kurt: Is it?
Travis: Yes, no regrets, I say. Je ne regrette rien. Thatās the only way to survive.
Kurt: Arenāt we serious today.
Travis: Not really . . . not serious at all.
Pause. Travis pulls out the wine.
I could only get any old Pinot. I apologize ā not the Pinot you wanted.
Kurt: No need to apologize.
Kurt kisses Travis.
Travis: Mmmm. Yum. Too bad we have to eat dinner.
Kurt: Thereās always after dinner.
Travis: Mmm.
They kiss again.
So whatās in the pot?
Kurt: My crazy chili.
Travis: How crazy is it?
Kurt: As crazy as it can be and still be vegetarian.
Travis: As long as there is no quinoa or kale. Iām so tired of those trendy foodstuffs. And all the faggots just canāt get enough of them.
Kurt: You shouldnāt say that.
Travis: Sorry, itās just so annoying that everyone has to eat the same thing.
Kurt: When did you start saying faggot?
Travis: I donāt know.
Kurt: You never said faggot before.
Travis: I didnāt ever?
Kurt: Not that I remember.
Travis: Well maybe before I met you.
Kurt: The vast, uncharted time.
Travis: Yes. So vast . . . so terribly, terribly vast.
Kurt: So youāve got the wine . . . Iāve got the chili . . .
Travis: Thatās all we need . . .
They move to the table.
Kurt: So how was rehearsal?
Travis: I was brilliant. No one seemed to notice.
Kurt: Well thatās all their fault then.
Travis: You are a very supportive partner.
Kurt: As supportive as they come . . .
Travis: And how was your class?
Kurt: Oh they just . . . they just inspire me so much, those kids . . .
Travis: You always say that. I hope they donāt inspire you too much.
Kurt: N...