5
Cross-Cultural Communication
The essence of cross-cultural communication has more to do with releasing responses than with sending messages. It is more important to release the right response than to send the message.
Edward T. Hall
Blog Vignette 5.1 Mind Your Language, Please!
A few years ago, I worked with an American managing editor whom I emailed back and forth several times at the inception stage of our ephemeral collaboration before my article was published. One day, in one of our many emails, I was taken aback when the editor blurted the following: “I tried many times to find your personal information, but your damn website made it so difficult for me to do so!” I understood this person was trying to express his frustrations and anger over an important matter, that is, accessing appropriate information to publish my article within an urgent timeline. I instantly wanted to tell him, “Hey, watch your language!” Instead, I said, “You don’t have to get mad over it.” I think that remark got him to realise that his reaction wasn’t right. After that incident, I thought of the different communication styles people use in relating their frustrations. My question is: When and in what manner could we teach people to do it our way? Why and with whom would a person learn to be polite and cautious with one’s words? Could or would people simply say what and how they want by employing an authentic approach and a customary way of speaking?
Cultural Lesson 5.1: Communicate the Right Manner, Please
Communication is crucial; so is one’s attitude. Respecting others and having high tolerance are needed when you work with someone who has different cultural values. To the managing editor, perhaps the statement was simply an expression of feelings. To me, it represented his level of tolerance and respect. Whether people say what they mean or mean what they say, it all boils down to the way a person thinks and feels about a situation. To me, saying something invokes the necessity of contemplating the effect it will cause on others, which is indeed a priority over my own feelings, sometimes even at the expense of bottling up my feelings. Justifiably, I witness this passive communication style in people who ascribe to a collectivistic culture. Given a certain context, in specific situations, they also employ a nonconfrontational approach and avoidance strategy of communication. How would Westerners employ a direct, confrontational strategy in response to this conflicting manner?
According to Hall (1976), the founder of the intercultural communication field, communication is culture, and culture is communication. On the contrary, behaviour under the abovementioned illustration can also be attributed to one’s personality. I do realise that it is not right to say all Americans are blunt and harsh. Some of the Americans I know seem politer than my own people back home in Malaysia. And there are Asians, after all, who are loud and nasty in their speech. When we say “culture,” we mean we observe many, many people who practise in such a way, validating our observations with evidence. Of course, it all depends on situational conditions. As I was reading an article on managerial skills and negotiation that addresses authority and power, I thought:
•How do people communicate with their superiors, that is, their bosses or colleagues?
•More specifically, how does one say “no” to their boss or colleague?
•Is it a common practice? It depends.
Many people have different ways of communicating a decision like “no.” Some may use the word bluntly and straightforwardly. For instance, one time my European colleague came to the meeting, listened and then announced to the Dean: “I don’t agree with the idea and will not carry out the task because I don’t see that it is feasible.” Meanwhile, one of my Asian colleagues just nodded and supported the statement with a subtle and polite manner. Another colleague began to utter his disagreement with such a statement: “I am sorry, I do agree with Frank on the unfeasibility of the task, and I think it is better for us to carry out the task this way …,” while others just stared blankly and refused to utter any words. For many, saying “no” is not easy. In some cultures, saying no is not a big deal. You do it with ease, you do it without guilt and you do it all the time.
But in other cultures, saying “no” is a “no-no.” You do what you are told, whether you are willing or not. You perform the task because you respect the authority of the person who requests or instructs it. So, the communication style in both scenarios is different. In a culture when saying “no” is easy and acceptable, communicating a negative response is no problem. In a culture where saying “no” is hard and usually unacceptable, communication can come in two forms: verbal or nonverbal. For instance, when an employee does not want to do what he or she is asked, the boss can see this through his or her facial expressions, such as a confused or hesitant look or a frown. A lagging or slow response can also be a cue.
Yet, this type of communication is subtle: It takes experience and intimacy to understand the level of another’s willingness without him or her saying yes or no concretely. The opposite is true for the low-context culture communicator where they can express their feelings by straightforwardly saying No. People from this culture can offer a negative response verbally without remorse. They can say no to you blankly, with a straight face. Sometimes, this is communicated in a very diplomatic and professional way. However, it is said, it will be communicated directly.
Blog Vignette 5.2 Why Should It Be Different? Communicating at Home and at Work
Over the years, I have been amazed at the different ways people communicate in their daily lives, especially at work. I wonder whether what and how you were taught to communicate at home affects how you speak in the workplace, and whether how you speak at work influences how you speak to your spouse and kids at home. A friend of mine once told me that her husband speaks to her as if she is a member of his staff – the “boss” tone, she said. Another friend shared with me a piece of her work wisdom: “I have developed a diplomatic way to communicate with my staff. When there’s a problem, I call them and ask them directly what problems they are facing, and then reason the issues out with them. The funny part is that when speaking to my kids, I began to use the same communication style. Strangely it worked!” These examples make it evident that people learn to communicate with co-workers based on what they are taught by their parents, siblings and friends, and vice versa. Some people might just say that it needs to be different – professionally and socially. What you say, when you deliver it, which context it exists in, with whom you are speaking, and the manner in which you deliver your speech are all crucial formations of one’s communication styles. So I often ponder: Why should it be different? After all, everyone starts developing their speaking ability as young as one year old. From that moment onwards, one is taught and trained how to talk based on the influential people in life within the environment one is in – that is, parents, siblings, teachers and friends. Such growing years will provide a learning experience on how best to speak with other people. People and environment are two elements that will help develop a specific communication style which is attuned to your own cultural roots. So, conceivably, I suggest: speak the way you do as you are taught, and speak the way you desire as you observed! Language is cultural tool for human communication.
Cultural Lesson 5.2: What Did You Say? Different Cultures, Different Communication Styles
From a cultural point of view, there are many differences in the ways people speak, including the way people arrange their words, the tone of voice they use, how they select the content of a message, and the person to whom they direct the message. Studies have shown that culture does influence communication. Edward Hall’s (1959) intercultural communication theory introduced a concept called “context” as a way to explain communicative behaviour. This concept refers to the extent to which communication is affected by its context (the situation) vs. content (the words). Context is a continuum with two extremes, high and low. Communication in a high-context society takes into consideration key factors such as what, who, why, when and how. On the other hand, communication in a low-context society relies almost exclusively on what – that is, the content of the message. Thus, in a low-context culture, people directly express their disagreement, while in a high-context culture, people are reluctant to speak if they fear they will offend someone (their boss, for example, or their father). In that sense, it is true, as Edward Hall asserted, that culture is communication and communication is culture. High-context cultures are from countries like those in Asia, that is, Japan, Malaysia, Thailand, China and India; South American countries like Brazil; and most of the Middle Eastern countries like Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Iran, Egypt and many others. On the other hand, low-context cultures include countries like the United States and Anglo-Saxon cultures like Germany, Australia, Netherlands, Norway, Denmark, Finland, United Kingdom, Canada and Sweden, among others.
So, when working with people from different cultures, you need to be aware of ...