ASIA
Chinese Family Strengths and Resiliency
Anqi Xu
Xiaolin Xie
Wenli Liu
Yan Xia
Dalin Liu
SUMMARY. Chinese family and marriage strengths and challenges are delineated in this article, including equity in marriage, affection, the ability to adapt to changes, mutual trust, compatibility, harmony, and family support. Despite the fact that Chinese households are getting smaller as a result of governmental policy and the broadening of housing markets, families remain crucial support networks, especially in the areas of socialization and intergenerational relationships. Current research on Chinese marriages and families is cited, outlining attitudinal changes regarding mate selection, divorce, and childbirth between genders, between older and younger generations, and between urban and rural residents. doi:10.1300/J002v41n01_08 [
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KEYWORDS. Chinese families and marriages, family strengths, family resiliencies
INTRODUCTION TO CHINESE MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES
Chinese families have undergone tremendous changes in the past several decades as a result of socioeconomic developments, among them, the governmental one-child-per-family policy that has impacted family structure and family dynamics. The economic growth in major cities has prompted development of the housing market that gives young married couples the opportunity to purchase their own housing. Thus, the nuclear family has become the normative family structure. This chapter is an effort to delineate family strengths typical of contemporary Chinese families, and to provide current research on Chinese marriages and families that chronicle attitudinal changes on mate selection, divorce, and childbirth between genders, between older and younger generations, and between urban and rural residents.
Chinese Family Strengths
Chinese culture, being collective in nature, is well-known for its emphasis on family relationships and support. Families are described as close-knit units, manifested in three-generational households. However, the current norm of family structure today in China is no longer a three-generational household; rather, it is the nuclear family. Research shows that despite the changes, family remains the main pillar of the social support network. Families are still greatly valued by the young and the old. Intergenerational relationships are not to be undervalued or underestimated. Child care and elder care remain familiesā responsibilities both in urban and rural China.
The studies of family strengths among Chinese families are scant. In the West, Stinnett and DeFrain (1985) identified major six strengths among American families: affection and appreciation, commitment, positive communication, the ability to manage stress and crisis effectively, enjoyable time together, and a sense of spiritual well-being. Xie, DeFrain, Meredith, and Combs (1996) conducted the first study of family strengths in China. They found that besides loyalty, family support, enjoying time together, families in China perceived a sense of harmony being an important aspect of family strengths. Again, this may be related to the collectivist culture that emphasizes unity and togetherness in the family. One example to illustrate this is that Chinese culture, like most other Asian cultures, tends to put the family name before first name, implying that familiesā needs take precedence over individualsā needs.
Xie, Xia, and Zhou (2004) conducted an in-depth interview study with 40 Chinese immigrants in the US to delineate major family strengths and challenges. The following family strengths were identified: family support; social support from friends and community; communication among family members; balancing host and heritage cultures, and spiritual well-being. These two studies seem to identify the recurring themeāfamily support to facilitate family functioning in China.
Current Status of Chinese Marriages and Families
Mate selection. This has been a significant research topic in the study of Chinese marriages and families for the following reasons: (1) mate selection is prelude to marriage and is the foundation of future family life; (2) though mate selection is a personal issue, and hinges on oneās choices and interests, in reality, it is influenced by the families of origin, society, and culture.
Research indicates the following trends in mate selection among Chinese youths today: (1) youths consider personality more important than oneās family background; (2) though men still emphasize chastity more than women, on the whole, the concept of chastity is downplayed by both genders; (3) education is valued in mate selection, especially among the educated group; (4) romance and affection are highly emphasized among the young, the educated, and professional groups (Li, 1989; Liu, 1996; Fei & Xie, 1995).
In her study of 3,000 married men and women in Shanghai and Harbin, China, Xu (2000) found that the main criteria in mate selection were health (60.9%), honesty (53.4%), personality compatibility (47%), and affection (36.9%). Those with education held higher expectations for their future mates and were more careful in their selection process. Not only did they take into consideration their mateās financial status, but compatibility and affection. However, factors that influenced mate selection were multifaceted, such as gender, geographic regions, the familyās financial situation, and housing conditions.
Studies in the past showed that arranged marriages were a common practice in China, with approximately two-thirds of marriages arranged in urban areas and even higher percentages in rural areas, especially those that were economically disadvantaged (Pan, 1987; Shen & Yang, 1995; Xu, 1997). However, recent trends showed that arranged marriages were decreasing in rural areas, and even more rapidly in urban areas. Friends and colleagues took over the matchmaker roles that parents, relatives and neighbors used to play (see Table 1).
As friends and colleagues were more likely to introduce a perspective mate than relatives, youths were granted more freedom to choose their own mates. Today, in rural China, arranged marriages where both couples did not know each other before marriage and were not happy with the choices represents only 4.7%, compared to 29% in 1966. Self-selection of a mate represents 56.7%, compared to 32.8% in 1966 (Xu, 1997). Table 2 shows that a majority of the couples are happy about their own mate selection.
After 1949, dating was discouraged and frowned upon for several decades. Many couples went underground when dating. Because of the lack of entertainment centers and financial resources at the times, dating behavior was restricted to chatting at oneās own home or strolling on the street (Xu, 1997). Su and Hu (2000) found that letter writing was the main communication instrument between couples. In their study of 20- to 30-year-old youths in China, Li and Xu (2004) revealed that 47% of the couples wrote letters to express their affection for each other. This behavior was more popular among the educated group.
TABLE 1. How couples met (in percent).
| Cities | Rural Areas |
| Beijing and four other cities | Beijing and six other cities | Gansu | Guangdong |
| 1982 | 1992 | 1996 |
Through Parents | 17.6 | 4.3 | 60.8 | 2.1 |
Through Relatives | 22.6 | 21.4 | 16.6 | 20.5 |
Through Match-Makers | | 7.7 | 0.8 | 25.2 |
Through Friends | 36.0 | 33.4 | 8.4 | 21.4 |
Own Self | 23.0 | 32.0 | 12.9 | 30.3 |
Through Work | 0.8 | 1.2 | 0.0 | 0.1 |
Through Agencies | | 0.1 | 0.0 | 0.0 |
others | | | 0.5 | 0.4 |
Total | 100.0 | 100.0 | 100.0 | 100.0 |
N | 4878 | 5476 | 1330 | 1537 |
Sources: Adapted from Pan (1987); Shen & Yang (1995); Xu (1997).
TABLE 2. Marriage decision making among rural couples at different periods (%).
Source: Adapted from Xu (1997).
As to the number of dates couples had before marriage, in a study that involved 1,600 married couples, Xu (1997) found that the average number of different partners that they dated before marriage was 1.5 for each participant. Two thirds married the first and only person they dated. Only 10.8% had dated two or more people. Li and Xu (2004) found that among youths, the average number of dates was 3.3. Sixty-eight percent had one to three people with 11% having dated six or more people. Because of the limited selection pool among the middle aged and older groups, many of them dated fewer people.
Pan and Jen (2000) conducted a random study of dating behavior among college students on 150 campuses in 1997. Results showed that 41.4% of students had kissed, 26.7% had sexual touches, and 10.1% had sexual intercourse. Another study involved 5,070 university students on 26 campuses in 14 provinces revealed similar results: 11.3% had sexual intercourse. Among those students who had engaged in sexual intercourse, gender differences were also revealed: 52.2% of male participants had one sexual partner versus 67.9% of the females; 22% of males had six or more sexual partners versus 18.3% of the females (Research on Sex Education among College Students, 2001).
Marriage. Marriage is a salient life event. Marriage attitudes are reflections of family, social and cultural values. They influence marriage behaviors and family life. It is still against the law in China to cohabit. The majority of Chinese are against this behavior, but it is becoming more accepted among the younger generation. Lu (1997) found some ag...