Middle Age Spread

Roger Hall, John Thomson

• Publisher: Victoria University Press
• Year: 2014
• ISBN:
  9780864737816
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Drama
• Index: Literature

Middle Age Spread is not just a repeat of Roger Hall's earlier success. Though the comic spirit prevails again - it is a play which is bound to raise laughter - it is never at the expense of one's conviction that this is indeed how life is.

Scene One

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An evening in late August.

The sitting room of COLIN and ELIZABETH. It is a typical middle-class sitting room, with no real style but with the emphasis on tidiness and “niceness” rather than being a real place to relax … a room always on show in case people call. There is a three-piece suite, plus two other chairs. In front of the sofa is a low table which has a magazine shelf underneath. A bookcase and a sideboard.
ELIZABETH enters and places tray of snacks on table. She looks at her watch and frowns. She plumps some of the cushions on the sofa—underneath one she finds a doll—the doll is dressed as a nurse.
COLIN enters. He is wearing a smart brand-new raincoat and under his arm there is a box of the type suits are carried home in from tailors.

COLIN: Sorry.

ELIZABETH: It’s late! They’ll be here soon.

COLIN: Yes, I know. Sorry.

ELIZABETH: Well, hurry up and get ready—is that a new raincoat?

COLIN: Yes. I got it tonight … in town.

ELIZABETH: Well, it’s about time.

COLIN: Do you like it?

ELIZABETH: Yes, but it’s late!

COLIN: All right, all right.

He goes out of the door. ELIZABETH goes to the bookshelf and extracts two largish art books. She ponders, puts one back and places the other (about New Zealand Art) “casually” on the table. Off-stage we hear a toilet flush. ELIZABETH looks annoyed, COLIN enters. He is wearing a needle-cord jacket.

ELIZABETH: Not really noticing him as she continues to make last-minute arrangements. Did you drip?

COLIN: What?

ELIZABETH: On the floor. Did you drip on the toilet floor?

COLIN: I don’t know!

ELIZABETH: AND I suppose you used the new bar of soap.

She goes out to check. Takes doll with her.

COLIN: To himself. No I didn’t use the new bar of soap because I was a naughty boy and didn’t wash my hands.

He goes to drinks and pours two sherries from the decanter. He takes a quick swig from his glass and then tops it up. He also takes a snack and stuffs it whole into his mouth, rearranging the others on the plate so that the missing one won’t be noticed.
ELIZABETH comes in, still pre-occupied with last-minute arrangements.

COLIN: Well, what do you think?

ELIZABETH: What?

COLIN: The jacket?

ELIZABETH: Good heavens! You have been splashing out....

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half-title
• Title Page
• Table of Contents
• Foreword
• First performance
• Author’s note
• Characters
• The play
• Scene One
• Scene Two
• Scene Three
• Scene Four
• Scene Five
• Scene Six
• Scene Seven
• Scene Eight
• Scene Nine
• Scene Ten
• By the Same Author
• Copyright