Finding Your Voice as a Beginning Marriage and Family Therapist

Jessica L. ChenFeng, Dana J. Stone

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9781351969413
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Mental Health in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

Finding Your Voice as a Beginning Marriage and Family Therapist provides support to early career marriage and family therapists who seek authentic and meaningful connections with themselves, their colleagues, and the clients they serve.

The book addresses a lack of resources for early career therapists during professional formation, particularly for those who have marginalized aspects of their identity. Readers will move toward celebrating their varied social contextual selves to gain a sense of empowerment, allowing themselves to fully engage in their educational, clinical, and supervisory journey. The authors offer unique insights on the literature of clinical training as well as authentic stories from early career as well as more seasoned MFTs. There are exercises for the reader and practical skills for active engagement in their own development. Reflection questions at the end of each chapter can be used for personal reflection or to frame dialogue with classmates and colleagues.

Adaptable for use in the classroom, support groups, and in group/individual supervision settings, Finding Your Voice as a Beginning Marriage and Family Therapist is an essential resource for students and beginner clinicians.

Introduction 1

It means so much to us that you have picked up this book. We have tried our best to consider who you might be and how this book can be of support to you in your growth as a marriage and family therapist. Through the planning and writing of this manuscript, we hold in our hearts the students/supervisees, professors/supervisors and colleagues who have shaped who we are and continue to strive to be. As such, we acknowledge that this is a book that could be written because of the transformative relationships and trustworthy growth processes and spaces in our own lives. While the pages ahead will have many concepts, theories, and practical guidelines, our intention is to move us toward authentic relational connections that will feed back into creating a sustainable and meaningful journey as marriage and family therapists (MFTs).

This book is possible because of the transformative relationship the two of us have shared, as well as our communities and network of relationships established over the years. Through the four years we taught and worked together, we shared countless conversations about our own training experiences—what we experienced, what we wish we knew, what we valued and what challenged us—as well as the ongoing experiences of our students/trainees and how to support them in their development. This book represents all those hours of dialogue and mentorship. It is written for our younger selves as much as it is written for the next generation of developing clinicians.

One of the privileges we share is our educational background and the access to resources and social capital this offers us. While we have absorbed much of what we have gained and the knowledge that has transformed our lives, we do not consider this book to be a “how to” manual or a way for us to share expert knowledge. It is rather, a compilation and an overflow of that which has catalyzed growth and transformation in our lives thus far. We are and will continue to be learners—being transformed as we seek to transform—for the rest of our lives. We hope to learn with and from you, so we welcome your reflections.

While the title of the book clearly indicates that this is meant for the beginning/developing therapist, we believe that it is just as beneficial for any of us—whether we are students, licensed therapists, or supervisors—if we hope for more authentic and meaningful connections with ourselves and those with whom we work. There is a particular type of audience that we are centering as our reader—those who have marginalized aspects of their identity. In our years of education and clinical training, we rarely encountered resources that centered our marginalized identities and so we hope to offer that to our readers. At the same time, we also acknowledge those with more or completely privileged identities; we look forward to this book offering you ways to expand your awareness for more authentic connection.

Engagement with the Book

We imagine that there are countless ways to best utilize this book. Certainly, it is something a reader can use on their own, but our encouragement is that this book is used in community, whether that is with friends, colleagues, classmates, or in a graduate course. We hope you will create time, space, and energy to engage with it.

This book is also meant to encourage interaction that goes beyond academic knowledge. Because we hope it will impact relationships and growth processes, it may require a different kind of presence from the reader—a presence of an open mind, an open heart, and open hands. This openness is also about assuming positive intention of others along the way. There will be content to challenge what you know, questions to move you to self-reflection, and ways to transform relationships. At the end of most chapters (all of Chapter 6 is a workbook for self-reflection), we offer questions for reflection for you to use for your own journaling or in dialogue with others.

This chapter highlights some of the theories and frameworks that shape our ways of engaging with this material. There is also a glossary of terms that we will use throughout the book. The rest of the book has three sections: (A) in Chapter 2, we share our own stories; (B) in Chapters 3, 4, and 5, we review the literature regarding difficult and meaningful training experiences and share the narratives of supervisees/students; (C) in Chapters 6, 7, and 8, we offer concrete ideas for self-growth, relational growth, and sustainability.

Self-of-the-Therapist

This book is about growing the self-of-the-therapist. Self or person of the therapist is centered in the idea of that the therapist, in their training and throughout their career, must be self-aware and have an ongoing commitment to developing self-awareness, to determine what aspects of the self can be utilized for or brought into therapy. Aponte’s person of the therapist training model “facilitates therapists’ more conscious, freer, and purposeful use of themselves” within the therapeutic context with clients (Aponte & Carlsen, 2009, p. 396). This model was developed with the goal to help therapists “develop greater capacity to personally engage with clients in ways that further therapeutic objectives even as therapists are who they are at the moment of contact with a client” (p. 397). This model of training is extensive and requires a deep commitment on the part of the therapist in training to engage in ongoing personal work and examination of the self. While the scope of this book is not to put trainees and early career clinicians into the in depth trainings required of the person-of-the-therapist training model, it is to introduce you to the idea that trainees must take responsibility for a meaningful examination of their personal sense of self (identity), their beliefs, bias, and values and how all of those intersect and interact with the therapy they conduct with clients. Importantly, what we can borrow from Aponte’s model is the emphasis on the reality that “therapists’ cultural, philosophical, and spiritual values” are “contexts for therapists’ judgments and choices about how they view clients and their issues” (p. 399).

Family therapist pioneer Virginia Satir also talked about the importance of the use of the self-of-the-therapist in therapy. Specifically she was referring to the therapists who work through and continue to work through their own personal issues in order to be more emotionally available in sessions with their clients (Lum, 2002). Satir believed that when therapists were in touch with, aware of, and monitoring their self, it enabled them to become “more fully human and congruent” (p. 182). This strive for congruence, through continued personal work with difficult aspects of our lived experiences, allows therapists to remain more engaged, whole, and centered with clients. Intuition and lived experiences are important aspects of a therapist’s toolbox, and Satir’s concept of self-of-the-therapist highlights how important it is for therapists to accept all aspects of who they are and integrate those unique aspects of ourselves into our ability to connect more deeply and to work with clients more effectively.

In our own way, we have adapted this concept of person or self-of-the-therapist in our own work and for the purposes of this book. When we refer to the self-of-the-therapist we are referring more specifically to your multifaceted identities and how those influence your lived experiences, which in turn shapes how you think, move, believe, and feel and ultimately who you will be in therapy. As trainees and early career therapists, if we take the time to really examine our whole selves and to consider the multitude of our parts and how each of those parts influences who we are as a person and as therapists, we can then remember and be encouraged to bring our whole selves into our work with clients. With confidence we can recognize the value of our uniqueness and our differences in the therapeutic context and hopefully inspire others to do the same.

Theoretical Underpinnings

Family Systems Theory

When I (Dana) was first a student in my master’s program, like all MFT students, I was introduced to the concept of systems theory—the foundational framework for the field of marriage and family therapy. While all of the philosophical underpinnings of systems theory are quite complex, I would like to highlight here, briefly, what really drew me in. First and foremost, the shift away from viewing individuals in isolation to viewing individuals within relationships—family relationships to be specific. This forever solidified for me that when working with individuals, we cannot consider them without also considering their context (family). This was a huge shift for me, coming from an individual psychology undergraduate program. Then the introduction of first order and second order cybernetics; the family system becoming the focus and considering the impact of the therapist as a part of or affecting the family system. Then came the idea of reciprocal causality and the notion that there was no one person to blame in the family for problems, but that every person played a part or had a role in the both the problematic and homeostatic interaction sequences. Then the idea of the whole of the family system being more than just the sum of its parts—the wholistic view. Adding to those ideas was the concept of subjectivity and the relativistic nature—that there was no objective truth—rather, each family or member of the family could have their own truth or understanding of what was happening. And finally, von Bertalanffy’s (1968) concept of equifinality—that in open systems the end state or resolution can be reached by multiple pathways or means.

Based on these premises, we see the importance of going beyond the family system—that we cannot consider individuals without considering their larger social context. While the inequitable and oppressive systems within which we live are harmful to us all (by dividing us from one another and making it hard to have true connection; certainly the consequences of these systems impact some groups more than others), we each have a role to play—related to our social location and relational power—that can move us toward more shared equity. It is possible that we each have a different experience of these dynamics, even if our social locations appear the same—it is not a framework of who is right or wrong, but rather having the same vision and hope and moving together in that direction.

Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy

When I was a doctoral student (Jessica), I had the opportunity to be part of an ongoing research group that studied couples therapy processes focusing on gender and power. This research group was applying Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy (SERT), founded by Carmen Knudson-Martin and Douglas Huenergardt, to clinical work with couples. Though the theory began with looking at couples and their gendered power dynamics, our conversations and research studies expanded to other contextual processes and shaped our consciousness about how to be therapists. The five principles that guide the practice of SERT continue to frame my way of understanding relationships, both personally and professionally. These are the principles (Knudson-Martin & Huenergardt, 2015).

Context Structures Personal Identities and Relational Processes

SERT situates relational issues in the larger context and not simply in the individual, the relationship or the family. We must therefore understand the social context and discourses that shape us and our clients’ experiences/identities. This principle explains how we understand not only our clients but also ourselves and those with whom we are in relationship. Context always matters.

Emotion Is Contextual

Emotions are connected to the social context in which our identities are shaped. The meaning we make of ourselves and experiences is constructed in context and the emotions we feel and express are an outflow of that process. As we seek to understand ourselves and others, we explore the connection between what we and others feel as part of our contextual identities.

Power Is Relational

Relational power is about influence in the relationship. Whose preferences, perspectives, or reality are attended to/privileged? This is present in any relationship dynamic and worth reflecting upon even in professional relationships. We hope that the resources in this book will support you to better identify and respond to the relational power in your life.

Relationships Should Mutually Support Each Partner

This SERT principle establishes that there should be mutual support in couples’ relationships. Expanding this beyond the couple dynamic, when we seek authenticity in our relational connections, we are hoping for a reciprocity and mutuality that allows us to feel seen by and to see the other.

Therapists Must Actively Intervene in Social Processes

Without examining how we, as therapists, absorb societal discourses, we too can perpetuate inequitable dynamics not only with clients but in our own lives/relationships. SERT takes the stance that we are active interveners in social processes. We too believe that whether we are in the role of the therapist or in our own professional and personal relationships, we must posture ourselves to be actively engaged in addressing societal disparities and contributing to the development of equity.

Risks and Benefits of This Journey

We see this book a...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Table of Contents
• Acknowledgments
• 1. Introduction
• 2. Our Own Stories
• 3. Difficult and Unfulfilling Training Experiences
• 4. Meaningful and Fulfilling Training Experiences
• 5. Students’ and Supervisees’ Stories
• 6. Preparing and Developing the Self-of-the-Trainee
• 7. Moving Toward Sociocultural Relational Connection
• 8. Establishing a Foundation for a Career of Being Known and Knowing Others
• Appendix: List of Resources
• Index