PART I
Socialization, Individuation, and the Self
The newborn baby is a biological organism that will become a grown person functioning in society. This complex transformation is accomplished through numerous processes that can be grouped into several broad categories. One is maturation or physical development, which is a passage from small size and uncoordinated body functioning to adult size and body form and coordinated body movement. It includes sexual maturation. A second broad category may be termed individuation, the process of becoming a particular person. A third broad category, the one to which this book is devoted, is socialization, the process of gaining the capacities for social interaction that enable the person to function in society. Some anthropologists argue for a fourth categoryā enculturation, the process of acquiring a particular culture, which they distinguish from socializationāalthough others do not find this distinction necessary, considering that socialization necessarily includes acquiring a particular culture. Cognitive development, the process of becoming capable of dealing with ever more complex information, concepts, and intellectual relationships, is another broad category.
This classification is useful, but the categories are not independent of each other. Each affects the other to some degree, in complex and subtle ways. This book focuses on social functioning, and the two chapters in Part I introduce the concept of socialization. Chapter 1 presents the distinction, and also the connections, between socialization and individuation. Sigmund Freud, the originator of psychoanalysis, viewed society and individual as in opposition. Emile Durkheim, one of the founding fathers of sociology, believed that autonomy was the freely willed and enlightened acceptance of the social rules to which the child is molded during socialization; the child comes to be but a reflection of the society. Each of these is at best a partial view. Socialization is fundamental in making us human, but the process cannot be understood as simple molding. One reason, as William Damon points out in Chapter 1, is that the child is an active agent in its socialization and does not turn out exactly as socializing adults wish.
Chapter 2 touches briefly on the relationship between socialization and maturation, but it is devoted most fully to explicating the social origin of the self, a key concept in the sociological understanding of socialization. Social participation means being able to regulate oneās own conduct in interaction with others; only with the development of a self is self-regulation possible.
When we talk about socialization in terms of the newborn who, as a āraw recruitā into society, is first the object of and then a participant in interaction, we are focusing on socialization as a socialāpsychological process. This perspective is necessary, but not sufficient, for understanding socialization. Socializing agents have particular positions in society. Parents, for example, are members of a particular social class and usually responsive to and influenced by their class membership. They have a particular position in the economy that is likely to affect their socializing activity. A child whose parents are, say, both assembly-line workers is likely to be socialized somewhat differently from one whose parents are both corporation lawyers because each set of parents participates in a different part of the social structure. There may well be overlap in what the different parental couples know, believe, and value, but there are likely to be significant differences as well. Chapter 2 discusses briefly this structural point of view, as well as the socialāpsychological. Both perspectives are exemplified in various selections throughout the volume.
References
Durkheim, Emile. Moral Education: A Study in the Theory and Application of the Sociology of Education (New York: Free Press of Glencoe, 1961. First published in 1925).
Freud, Sigmund. Civilization and Its Discontents James Strachey, transl./ed. (New York: W.W. Norton, 1962. First published in 1930).
1
Socialization and Individuation*
William Damon
Social development is a life process built upon a paradox. The paradox is that at the same time we are both social and individual beings, connected with others in a multitude of ways, as well as ultimately alone in the world. This dual condition of connectedness and separateness begins at the moment of birth and remains with us all through life. The phrase social and personality development describes a two-fronted life movement within this paradoxical state of affairs. In the course of development, we become better able both to establish connections with others and to realize our own distinctness from others. In short, we become more social while at the same time becoming more individual and unique.
Paradoxes, of course, are only seeming contradictions, not real ones. The strange mix of sociability and individuality that develops in the course of human life can be seen as two complementary developmental functions, rather than as contradictory life directions. These are, respectively, the social and the personality functions of social development. Although these two functions seem to pull us in opposite ways, in actuality the two functions go hand in hand, each contributing to growth and to the individualās successful social adaptation.
The Two Functions of Social Development
The first of social developmentās complementary functions usually is called socialization. The socialization function includes all of oneās tendencies to establish and maintain relations with others, to become an accepted member of society-at-large, to regulate oneās behavior according to societyās codes and standards, and generally to get along well with other people. We may consider this to be the integrating function of social development, since it ensures the integration of the individual into society as a respected participant.
As a child grows, she experiences many different kinds of incentives toward socialization and integration into society. The baby needs close physical and emotional contact with her mother and must respond actively in ways that encourage such contact. The toddler is subject to direct disapproval until she becomes toilet trained. By middle childhood, children must learn to act cooperatively and fairly if they are to enjoy the companionship of friends. By the time of adolescence, the standards of society-at-large must be understood and respected. If an adolescent does not obey the law, there will be legal repercussions; if the adolescent does not do well in school or at work, her future career prospects may suffer. In these and many other ways, children experience the multiple needs and demands of socialization throughout their development.
The second function of social development is the formation of the individualās personal identity. This function, often called individuation, includes the development of oneās sense of self and the forging of a special place for oneself within the social order. It entails understanding oneās idiosyncratic personal characteristics and reconciling these characteristics with the requirements of interpersonal relations, as well as of occupational, sex, and family roles. We may consider this to be the differentiating function of social development. The formation of a personal identity requires distinguishing oneself from others, determining oneās own unique direction in life, and finding within the social network a position uniquely tailored to oneās own particular nature, needs, and aspirations.
As with socialization, the demands of individuation and differentiation begin early and continue throughout life. Babies struggle to recognize themselves as separate persons, distinct from their caregivers. Toddlers learn to say ānoā as an assertion of their autonomy (such assertions are so common that during this period children are considered to be in āthe terrible twosā). By middle childhood, children in school and at play are busy discovering the particular talents and interests that may set them apart from their peers. The young adolescentās need to establish independence from home and family is well known. Moreover, late adolescence is a primary proving ground for oneās personal sense of identity. Oneās personal identity, once constructed, is continually evaluated and reassessed throughout development.
Both functions of social development are absolutely essential for a personās adaptation to life. Through the integrating function, a person maintains satisfying and productive relations with others and with society-at-large. Continued failures here can lead to interpersonal conflicts, social isolation, or even to social deviance and delinquency. In addition, poor social relations during development can leave a person impoverished in cognitive skills and emotional responsiveness. Through the differentiating function, a person acquires a coherent identity and a feeling of control over her own destiny. Failure here can lead to a sense of confusion, paralysis, and despair.
Further, these two essential functions are deeply interconnected in the course of a personās development, often relying upon each otherās achievements. Thousands of years ago, Aristotle wrote, āAll friendly feelings towards others come from the friendly feelings that a person has for himself.ā Conversely, a shaky sense of self can impair oneās social interactions, and a maladaptive history of social relations can bear unfortunate consequences for oneās personal identity.
Together, these two functions penetrate into every area of life. Intellectual activity, for example, is frequently affected by oneās social and personal adaptation. Both social and personal chaos can easily disrupt oneās intellectual processes, just as confused thinking can disturb oneās efforts to make sense out of problematic social and personal issues. There are, of course, unusual cases in which intellectual and social competence seem to become divorced from one another. One such example is the stereotype of the brilliant scholar who has great insights but who cannot manage the simplest of personal affairs. But for most individuals, their social and personality growth is closely reflected in their intellectual achievements.
Relations between Socialization and Individuation
In some ways, socialization and individuation are quite distinct processes, even at times operating in opposition to one another. Establishing oneās individuality very often requires a different sort of activity from that required for āsocializedā behavior in the traditional use of the term. Defining oneās distinctness from others and staking out oneās unique social position sometimes place one in an antagonistic relation to others. Conversely, being āsocially acceptableā sometimes means forgoing personal wishes and habits in deference to the expectations of others.
Psychoanalytic writing has always emphasized this distinction between the individual and society. This was the subject of Sigmund Freudās (1930) treatise, Civilization and Its Discontents. Freud argued that to become civilized (his word for socialized) means renouncing some of oneās most basic drives, in particular those of sex and aggression. But these drives do not simply go away once they are renounced: They remain as a source of conflict and discontent for the individual who has accommodated to civilized life. It is as if, in a far less extreme way, we are all seething Mr. Hydes contained within mild-mannered Dr. Jekylls, always in danger of bursting through our civilized veneers. Normally this universal conflict can be contained and even productively channeled without too great a toll on the individualās happiness. In less fortunate cases, it may lead to psychopathology or social deviance. But in all cases, according to classic Freudian analyses, it typifies the universal and constant tension between a personās individualistic and social needs. Freud may or may not be correct in his belief that āantisocialā drives like aggression are an intrinsic part of human nature. But the dichotomy that he described between individual and social tendencies, along with the conflict that the dichotomy sometimes produces, cannot be denied.
Yet there is a sense in which there are profound connections between socialization and individuation. Developmentally, the two often go hand in hand for important psychological reasons: As one learns more about others, one learns more about the self, and vice versa. This is because interactions between self and others simultaneously provide one with feedback about both the nature of the other and about the nature of the self. Such feedback includes information about relations with other people, about other peopleās view of the self, and about characteristics of persons that are shared by both self and other. In the course of conducting social relations with others, one learns simultaneously about how to get along with others, about what others are like, and about what the self is like. In this sense, socialization and individuation are really opposite sides of the same coin: They are the yin and yang of social development.
At the turn of the century, James Mark Baldwin (1902) introduced this two-directional notion of social development to the field of psychology. Baldwin wrote that children come to know themselves only as a consequence of social interactions with many others:
The growing child is able to think of self in varying terms as varying social situations impress themselves upon him. . . . The development of the childās personality could not go on at all without the constant modification of his sense of himself by suggestions from others. So he himself, at every stage, is really in part someone else, even in his own thought of himself. (p. 23)
Just as the self is constructed through feedback received from others, Baldwin wrote, knowledge of others is constructed through feedback in the opposite direction: from the self projected outward. Thus, a young child who discovers that she gets angry when she is treated unfairly will assume that others also react this way to unfairness. An adolescent who learns that he can feel jealous of a rival becomes aware that people have a capacity for jealousy. In this manner, the childās sense of self and other grow simultaneously, inextricably woven together in the course of development. As both the self and other become clearly known, the childās thoughts of self are āfilled up by thoughts of othersā and the childās thoughts of others are āmainly filled up by thoughts of (the) self . . . but for certain minor distinctions in the fillingā (p. 18).
Baldwinās theory perhaps goes too far in emphasizing the similarity between the processes by which the self and the other are known. In many respects, the construction of the self poses unique cognitive and affective problems not encountered by the child in other aspects of his social development. To claim that realizing oneās individuality is identical in every way to learning about others and oneās relations with others is clearly overstating the case. Individuality may in fact lead one into antisocial directions. Moreover, there are certainly more than āminor distinctionsā between oneās attitude toward the self and oneās attitude toward others throughout the course of development. But despite its overstatement, Baldwinās argument has made social scientists aware of a fundamental connection between individual and social development, a connection based on the bidirectional process of understanding self and other.
In short, socialization and individuation are to a certain extent distinct from one another, and there is always the possibility that actions which will further one may not be in the service of the other, or may even stand in opposition to the other. But in the normal course of development, they go hand in hand, supporting each otherās growth. There is a creative tension between the two, a dialectical interplay between the needs of the individual to maintain relations with others and the needs of the individual to construct a separate self. The individual can only construct the self in the context of relations with others, but at the same time, the individual must step beyond the confines of those relations and forge a unique destiny.
Socialization and the Active Child
As part of their integration into society, children are required to adopt certain behavioral standards. These standards vary somewhat from society to society, but generally they are the key regulators that guide the child toward prosocial and away from antisocial behavior. Adults spend a good deal of time and effort attempting to transmit such standards to their children, and they often feel directly responsible for the extent to which their children have understood and adopted the message.
In exerting their socializing influences, adults have many possible techniques at their command. They can tutor or lecture their children on the proper ways to behave, they can administer rewards for desired behavior and punishment for undesired behavior, and they can arrange their childrenās lives in order to expose them to certain experiences and restrict them from others. Adults, by their own behavior, can also set an example for their children to imitate. Through their many agents, such as the schools, the churches, the media, adults also control the information that is available to children. Perhaps most importantly, in their parenting roles, adults protect and nurture their children, and they maintain intensely emotional bonds with them. These bonds themselves may act as a powerful incentive for children to heed the directives of adults.
Yet, with all this, children do not always turn out exactly as the adults in their lives may wish. Sometimes they resist adult guidance, sometimes they fail to comprehend it, sometimes they simply may not be able to live up to standards that t...