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Confidence and motivation to network
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Herm Allbright (1876â1944)
A large number of successful professionals today believe that âwho you knowâ is just as important as âwhat you knowâ. You may, for a number of reasons, be doubtful or sceptical about that statement. If youâre unsure, this book sets out to persuade you otherwise. Doing business certainly relies as much on people skills as on qualifications and experience. You may find it more difficult to achieve the success you deserve if your skills set is unbalanced â loads of one and not much of the other. No matter how brilliant you are at your job, if you want to get ahead, good connections do help. Working away for hours on end at your desk in splendid isolation isnât enough â unless youâre networking in the virtual community, of course. Getting to know people and making new contacts is an essential part of working effectively: the right attitude really matters.
| Key point |
| There are four core qualities that will help you become a successful networker: curiosity, generosity, confidence and motivation. Without any of these you will find it an uphill task. |
People do mean business, and most people are much happier working with those they like â or those they recognize as having similarities to themselves. The main reasons people build personal and professional networks are for career and corporate success. Your organization will stand out ahead of its competitors and your promotional prospects will be enhanced if you have a vibrant network of contacts and friends. These are two hugely motivational factors. One important thing to remember at this introductory stage: it helps to be curious about other people. They will find you far more interesting if you show an interest in them. Why should this be? The simple answer is that most people enjoy talking about themselves. Keep this firmly in mind when meeting new people â the art of networking is not just about you.
Now that jobs for life are a thing of the past, building your own network is even more important. Workers switch roles and careers far more frequently than they used to. Thereâs a growing generation that has specialized in portfolio careers and transferable skills. This is proven by the increasing number of entrepreneurs and consultants who set up businesses (usually in a sector of which they have experience or in which they enjoy working). If you want further encouragement, 765 of the richest 1,000 people in Britain and Ireland in 2009 were self-made millionaires (The Sunday Times Rich List 2009, published 26 April 2009). Anyone setting up a business for themself needs good contacts; acquiring networking skills is essential. If youâre not an entrepreneur but are employed or looking for work, personal recommendations speak volumes and are often more persuasive than the best-presented CV.
Developing a successful network isnât just about getting to know people you donât already know. Donât forget about the others â the ones you already know or have known a long time. Family, friends and acquaintances from school, college or university can all be part of your unique network. Current and former colleagues should also be included in your circle. Another important group are members of your industry association or profession. Finally, donât exclude the competition. Many a potential rival has been turned into a valuable ally by means of effective interpersonal skills. Being generous and courteous to others makes you memorable and is a great networking asset.
As with many things, those who are confident and have extrovert characteristics find physical (as opposed to virtual) networking less difficult than those who are timid or self-effacing. Some people are natural-born networkers and have loads of charisma. For others, who want to network face to face, the skills have to be learned. This is not difficult if you use some tried and tested methods, which will be described in detail further on in the book. One of these worth mentioning at the outset is the ability to be flexible. Everyone is familiar with the saying âIf you do what youâve always done, youâll get what youâve always got.â The same approach over and over again in networking will not yield results. And why should it? No one is the same as another person â so why should repeating the same introductory remarks and conversational opening gambits be right for each contact, let alone each occasion? Become confident and adept at trying new approaches and you will succeed. Finding the appropriate way to further a business relationship-building process is an important skill. There are many methods to choose and ringing the changes from time to time is vital. Once you get used to networking and begin to make progress with relationship building, the motivation to carry on is high.
| Key point |
| If youâre wondering whether networking is worth the effort, the answer is a resounding âYesâ. But getting good results isnât quick. Thatâs why confidence and motivation levels need to be healthy and sustained. |
At its best, networking can give you access to unpublished information. People will give their opinions on matters â in person and online â that you canât get from websites, publications and advertising materials. Just as you might ask a friend where the best restaurant is, people are usually willing to talk about their work. If you show an interest, they may offer to help. Networking requires generosity â giving rather than taking. Even if you cannot directly help someone who has helped you, there may be an indirect way: someone you know may be useful to them and you could introduce them.
By developing and nurturing a strong network of personal contacts, you can become more effective in business and help your career to progress. The main reasons why it works are:
- The greater your range of contacts, the more career opportunities you will have.
- Good relationships in the workplace will be helpful when taking charge of new situations.
- Strong personal networks mean higher job satisfaction.
- Problems can be solved faster, before they become crises, because of access to a number of possible solution providers.
- Greater access to information (employment, industry sector etc).
- Increased collaborative opportunities with others.
- The chance to develop long-term professional relationships.
Remember â itâs reciprocal. This is where the generosity factor comes in: if you help others, they will help you in return.
How to get started
I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best; they are merely the ones who got there first.
Peter Ustinov (1921â2004) (Dear Me)
You may be wondering where on earth you go from here. It probably feels much more daunting than it is. Developing relationships, whether socially or at work, is all about rapport building. If youâre someone who is naturally people-aware, then you probably make connections easily and quickly.
In fact, networking and building relationships with people are something everyone does on a daily basis with varying degrees of success. Most people use a computer and send e-mails. This is a way of networking â itâs online, itâs virtual, you donât have to get out of your chair. However, getting on the bus to go to work or going into a shop brings you into physical contact with new people. Thereâs nothing unusual about this or particularly risky. But it is potential networking. Being able to interact with others in a relaxed and easy way is well within anyoneâs capabilities. Those who enjoy it (meeting people face to face or using the internet) find that itâs fun. For those who donât enjoy it â and there are plenty who fall into this category â networking is the best way to overcome shyness, discover unexpected opportunities and break down the barriers to increasing their circle of friends and contacts.
Before going too much further, here are the main reasons why it is advantageous to network successfully:
- to realize your full potential;
- to succeed in making new friendships;
- to gain more self-confidence;
- to form new business relationships;
- to find opportunities to give and to receive;
- to have an advantage over people who canât, wonât or donât want to network.
Reluctant though you may be to take the first tentative steps, whether from fear, apathy or lack of time, a positive outlook is vital to successful relationship building. Once you learn how to do it in a way that suits you, you will overcome shyness, get excited about it and find you do have the time. Once youâve broken down the barriers that have prevented you trying up to now, youâll feel completely different. You will gain in confidence because you have worked out the best way to network for you â remember, it requires a genuine curiosity about others. You need to be interested rather than interesting. When you are generous to those you meet, you will find the motivation to create personal opportunities through your positive mental attitude.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie
And there you have it, the key to this whole networking business; in a word: curiosity. As you read on, you will find that, rather than killing the cat, curiosity is actually just whatâs needed to get you started.
Curiosity pays dividends in the art of making friends. Those of you who have natural curiosity will know what I mean. Perhaps you can recall an occasion when you overcame your instincts and spoke to someone you didnât know, and which had a beneficial outcome. For example, when you next attend a business event where there is a guest speaker, you might ask a question in the Q&A session. If you are brave enough to do this, you will find that people come up to you at the networking session afterwards and talk to you. Why is this?
The first reason is that youâll have shown curiosity â an interest in what the speaker said. You will have listened and probably learned something you didnât know. Second, people react with curiosity towards you because youâve made the effort to speak out. They become interested because they might be even more reserved than you are, and wish theyâd found the courage to ra...