UPWARDLY MOBILE HOME
DEB MARGOLIN, PEGGY SHAW,
LOIS WEAVER
Directed by Lois Weaver
Performed by Deb Margolin, Peggy Shaw and Lois Weaver
Choreography Stormy Brandenberger
Sets by Susan Young
Lights Joni Wong
Sound design by Janee Pipik
Originally produced in spring 1984 at WOW CafƩ,
330 E. 11th Street, New York
Copyright, Margolin, Shaw, Weaver 1996
Extracts from The Shanghai Gesture are reproduced by
permission of Sheldon Abend, American Play Company, Inc.
CHARACTERS
A group of performers with a history of working together who function and identify as a family even though they come from extremely varied backgrounds
MOM (Peggy Shaw)
LEVINE (Deb Margolin)
TAMMY (Lois Weaver)
Dawnās first light. Itās dark with a slight yellow-orange glow. We see a partially distinguishable image of a VW camper under the Brooklyn Bridge at the base of the bridgeās gray stone support structure. We hear the hum of cars and trucks crossing the bridge. A dimly lit string of Chinese lanterns hangs outside the camper. Thereās also a folding picnic table, folding lounge chair, a clothes line, a Coleman stove and a campfire outside. Tammy, LeVine, and Mom are asleep and hidden from view inside the camper.
MOM: Are you still awake?
LEVINE: Sheās always half asleep.
TAMMY: Iām just resting my eyes.
MOM: We have one day to work on this play.
LEVINE: Donāt worry, we always pull it together.
MOM: Do we have coffee for the morning?
LEVINE: Hey, listen to this! From the real estate section: (She sits up, her head visible through the camper window ā she reads from a newspaper)"To the artist and investor in each of us. All around town are investors who dream of doing something creative, and artists who wish they knew how to turn red ink into black. To you we dedicate Bleecker Court. Because a co-op at Bleecker Court meets two basic human needs: creativity and financial sensibility.ā
MOM: LeVine, do we have coffee for the morning?
LEVINE: (continuing to read)"However, there is more to life here than simply making a good investment in an exciting space.ā
TAMMY: Probāly.
LEVINE: āThereās the quality of life itself. Youāre two blocks from the Public Theatre, right near the Strand Bookstore and Tower Records; up from the art galleries in Soho, down from the Bottom Line and just east of Washington Square Park and Balducciās.ā
MOM: Do we have coffee for the morning?
LEVINE: At Bleecker Court, for the first time, the artist and the investor in you will finally agree on something.
MOM: LeVine!
LEVINE: Probably enough for tomorrow, Mother.
MOM: We have to get up early so we can rehearse before LeVine goes to work, and thereās no milk.
TAMMY: (in the van) Hunh?
MOM: Thereās no milk.
TAMMY: Thereās no money.
LEVINE: I got some change.
TAMMY: We could change our minds.
LEVINE: The show must go on.
MOM: Who said the show must go on?
TAMMY: Oh, maybe.
MOM: Maybe what?
TAMMY: Maybe tomorrow somethināll happen. Maybe tomorrow sheāll win the contest and we can just drive away in our new mobile home.
MOM: We can leave anytime.
LEVINE: Not before coffee ā¦ (She continues to read) āYour creative needs now satisfied, you naturally move on to contemplate your financial considerations ...ā
TAMMY: Shhhh . . .
MOM: LeVine!
Sunrise. 5:30 a.m. Chinese instrumental music, slow then fast, fades up. We hear the sounds of the bridge, cars, trucks, and morning traffic which transforms slowly to instrumental music in the style of āFlight of the Bumblebee,ā then to a more popular song like āIām Gonna Be a Wheel One Day.ā Mom gets up, gets out of the van, puts on a Chinese silk robe, lights the Coleman Stove and begins to make coffee. An alarm clock buzzes. The music stops. Inside the camper, LeVine, dressed in a black slip, jumps up and starts her stretching exercises. Mom washes some underwear in a bucket. An alarm goes off
RADIO ANNOUNCER: A sprinkle giving way to clear skies and seasonable temperatures this afternoon. Tonight it will be clear and cool, high will be around forty. Next is shadow traffic at five minutes past. We turn now to our helicopter report: Jim.
HELICOPTER PILOT: Things look okay at five minutes past the hour, Cath. Bruckner and Cross Bronx moving bumper to bumper. Choose alternate routes into Manhattan. Brooklyn Bridge one lane open ā stay to your right. Two lanes closed by TV cameras covering the WUMH VW Camper Marathon on the north end of the bridge. Use the tunnel; the bridge is hardly moving. Deegan moving rather well at seven minutes past the hour. Now back to you, Cath.
LeVine continues to stretch inside the camper. Mom washes some items of clothing in the tub and hangs them on a line to dry.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Today marks the beginning of the sixth remarkable week in the living bridge marathon. As you know five contestants began competing for a mobile home by camping out around the arches of Brooklyn Bridge six weeks ago. Under the watchful eye of millions of New York commuters, the nationās attention has focused on the two remaining contestants.
The telephone in the camper rings ā LeVine answers the phone. Tammy is still in bed. Mom is sitting in her lounge chair outside.
LEVINE: Hello ā¦ Yes, Suzanne, this is Madeleine LeVine ā¦ Yes, yes, honā. No thatās not a problem ā¦ we can have that taken care of well before 10:30. Okay, good, good, Iām glad you called. Yes, fine, dear, fine ā¦ Iāll see you later ā¦ yes. Bye.
MOM: Who was that?
LEVINE: I have to wear dirty underpants again today. My god, if I live through today it will be a miracle. Two jobs, the audition, and another fifteen questionnaires to finish, Su Yung Leeās fashion show ...
MOM: heh-heh-heh-heh ā
LEVINE: Why do you laugh?
MOM: āCause inside I have a joke. A very wise joke. Tonight my comic spirit runs fast along. Tonight we have a new show.
TAMMY: Shhhhh!
MOM: You have to have a sense of humor.
LEVINE: Sense of humor. What am I supposed to do now, no clean underpants for my day, fine state of affairs. People look at you and they know ā¦ (the telephone rings; LeVine answers). Hello? Yes, Jerry, good morning. I just spoke with Suzanne and sheās very dissatisfied with your floor plan.
MOM: Why didnāt you wash some out last night?
LEVINE: (continuing on the phone) I said Iād get back to her, and get to you. If weāre sure the floor is laid by quarter past I can have the models in order ā¦ Hold on just a sec, can you? (LeVine covers the telephone mouthpiece and looks out the window at Mom. To Mom) I was too busy boiling water for the dishes and I didnāt even eat dinner. (On the phone) So Jerry, cool your heels and move your ass. Okay love? I donāt know ā¦ Iāll meet you there if I can.
The front door of the camper opens. Tammy comes outside in a yellow dress and sweater with a slept-in look. Her hair is in curlers and sheās carrying a cosmetic case.
MOM: (to Tammy) Arenāt you up early today?
LeVine hangs up.
MOM: (to LeVine) Any luck?
TAMMY: My luck.
LEVINE: Weāre out of clown white. I told you that yesterday, remember?
MOM: Not even a little left?
LEVINE: I wouldnāt have said there was none left if there was a little left. Weāve been using the little left for two weeks. And weāre out of face cream.
TAMMY: My luck.
MOM: Itās not luck, weāve been talking about the amount of clown white for two weeks. Would you like some coffee, Tammy?
TAMMY: I had coffee already at Burger King. Jesus Christ! (She starts to put on her make-up and comb out her hair)
MOM: Whatās that?
TAMMY: I dreamt I got picked up by a woman who thinks sheās Jesus Christ ā¦ and on her way to work yet, oooooh ā¦ it was a sexy dream, and I was all dressed up for work ā¦ with my net stockings and tweed skirt ā¦ she had on a skirt too. We had coffee after, she bought me coffee and wanted to know my name. I was almost gonna tell her when she started talking about how her camper had air conditioning and curtains, like I didnāt notice. Made me nervous. I like to be able to see around me all the time, you know?
MOM: Thereās no milk.
TAMMY: How about some fake cream containers from Burger King?
LEVINE: Can I have some of that hot water? Iād like to wash under my pits.
MOM: Then I wonāt have enough for coffee, I have to have coffee, everyone else has had coffee (meaning Tammy).
TAMMY: Itās not the caffeine that gives you cancer, itās something they spray on the beans.
MOM: You think so?
TAMMY: I liked having that dream, too bad I donāt ...
MOM: Too bad you donāt dream about a script for our new show tonight.
LEVINE: We have a script, Ma ā¦ we have The Shanghai Gesture. (She stops her calisthenics and goes for her clothes)
MOM: Itās racist and sexist.
LEVINE: Oh Mom, itās not racist and sexist, and besides, we can do something with it. It was a hit in the twenties.
MOM:...