Mourning Child Grief Support Group Curriculum

Middle Childhood Edition: Grades 3-6

Ann Gaasch, Linda Lehmann, Shane R. Jimerson

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2013
• ISBN:
  9781135057411
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Psychotherapy Counselling
• Index: Psychology

Contains lesson plans for 10 sessions that include age-appropriate activities. These fun and engaging activities enable young children to approach highly sensitive and painful topics.

APPENDIX

1

A Description of Materials

Note: The materials included with each level of the grief curriculum are designed to be developmentally appropriate; therefore, although the names of the materials may be the same, the materials differ slightly across the curriculum levels.

Adjective List: This list is provided for the children as they work on the first journal sheet to give them ideas for words that might describe themselves. The adjective list can be found in Appendix 2.

Affirmations: Affirmations are one sentence statements encouraging positive/affirming thoughts (e.g., My grief is unique. I will let myself grieve in my one way). The affirmations can be copied onto colorful paper, cut out as strips of paper, and then rolled up (by wrapping them around a pencil) and placed into the affirmation jar (described below). Affirmations are used at the end of each session to provide each member with an affirming thought until the next group meeting. Affirmations can be found in Appendix 2.

Affirmation Jar: The affirmation jar is offered to the children at the end of every session. Copy the affirmations onto brightly colored or neon copy paper, cut them out, and roll them up. The affirmations are then put into a clear candy jar with a lid. The affirmations look like candy in the jar. At the end of each session, children are asked to pick an affirmation from the jar and read it out loud. The affirmation jar is intended to bolster the group members’ self-esteem which can be so badly damaged after a significant loss in their lives. Affirmations can be found in Appendix 2.

Balloon: The balloon is used to illustrate what can happen if we don’t let feelings out. If too much air is put into a balloon, eventually it will pop. But if a little bit of air is let out of the balloon it won’t. Feelings that get expressed prevent people from letting their feelings get out of control. It is best to use a medium size balloon (4-5 inches around). If the balloon is too large, it will take a long time to blow up and if it is too small, it will not hold much air. Also, it is wise to have multiple balloons (just in case there is difficulty with the first balloon). Buy balloons that are easy to blow up.

Beads: During this series, the group members will be making a bead wristband that, when completed, will tell their stories. The children will fill out a journal sheet with information about a topic and select beads that depict different things on the journal sheet. Usually the colors of the beads that they pick are symbolic of something they have talked about in the session and written about on their journal sheets. They are shown the beads during the journal activity, but they do not actually pick them out or string them until week 9. Then, they spend the whole journal time in week 9 beading their wristbands. When the wristbands are completed, each child can tell his or her story using the wristband. Buy a variety of bead colors for them to choose for their bead wristbands. Use either elastic bands and no clasps or fishing line with clasps.

Bio-Dots^®: Bio-Dots^® are used to show the group members the connection between the mind and the body. The Bio-dot^® is a small dot that is placed on the flesh part between the thumb and forefinger on the back of the hand. The idea is that the Bio-dot^® changes colors depending on how much stress we feel. Group members are led through a series of relaxation and breathing exercises and asked to check their Bio-dots^® to see if they changed color as a result of these exercises. Order the dots and cards from: BioDot International, Inc. P.O. Box 2246 Indianapolis, Indiana, 46206. Phone: [phone] or [phone]. Price: $10.00 per 100 or $66.00 per 1000 plus $1.50 postage and handling. Each order contains an instruction guide, a small poster, and 10 color codes (cards).

Bio-Dot^® Cards: These are color codes that explain what the colors on the Bio-dot^® mean and can be ordered with the Bio-dots^® (see above).

Blackboard, Flip Chart, or Tagboard: This board or chart is used for the discussion on feelings. Facilitator asks children, “what is a feeling?” and then asks the children to name some feelings. Facilitator writes these down on the board.

Blackboard or Tagboard with Myths Written on it: As the group talks about common myths about death, show this board that has the following myths written on it: “Only old people die,” “Death is contagious,” “Death is reversible,” “If someone you love dies it’s because you are being punished for something you did wrong,” and “You can prevent someone from dying.” Go over each statement and the group talks about why this statement is not true. The children then learn the correct statements for each of these myths which are “Death is a part of life,” “Everyone dies,” “Death is irreversible,” “Death is not contagious,” and “People die for a variety of reasons: illness, accidents, murder, suicide, old age.” Children then choose one of these myths, and illustrate the correct statement on the drawing sheet, “Dispelling Common Myths” (described below). A copy of these myths (and correct statements) for the blackboard/tagboard can be found in Appendix 2.

Blank Paper: Blank paper is used throughout the curricula for various activities. One week, it is used for the children to draw “sad.” Another week, blank paper is used for writing affirmation notes to other group members. Here, each group member and the facilitator writes their names at the bottom of his/her sheet. Then the sheet is passed to the person to their left. Then that person writes a note of encouragement or affirmation to the person whose name appears at the bottom of the sheet. Once they have written their note to that person, they fold the paper over to cover their message and pass it to the person to their left. Keep going until everyone has written a note to everyone else. Blank paper is also used when the children write letters to new group members. They can pass on letters of encouragement and things they learned. 8½” x 11” blank paper is appropriate for all activities. In case the children want to draw pictures of themselves, use neutral colored paper tones, such as blue, violet, green, or goldenrod, that do not resemble skin tones so that children of color do not have to draw themselves as white. Or, purchase multi-cultural crayons (see Crayons below).

Bubbles: Bubbles are used to demonstrate various aspects of feelings: that they are not all alike, that some come and go quickly and others stay for a long time, some are big and some are small, etc. You can purchase gallon bottles of bubbles and fill individual containers with the bubble solution, or make a solution from dishwashing soap and a small amount of sugar. Have individual containers and wands, so that the children can play with them after you have finished the discussion.

Bubble Wrap: Give the children a square of bubble wrap to pop for one of their breaks. They really get into the sound and action of popping the bubbles.

Camera with Film: A group picture is taken the second to last (9th) session. At the conclusion of week 10 each group member will be given a copy of the picture. Be sure to take a couple of pictures to insure a good shot.

Candle, Matches: One or more candles might be used during the group sessions. Candles add light to the room, especially if there isn’t bright overhead lighting. They also add warmth to the room. In particular, a candle is used as a focal point during the centering and closing exercises. It’s best to buy candles that are in a metal or glass container to reduce the risk of fire.

Cassette or CD Player, Soft Music: A cassette or CD player is used with soft music while the children are doing journal writing each week. A CD or cassette player is needed for some of the activities in the curriculum. If one is not available, sing the songs.

Centering Activity Overview: This is a script for guiding the children in a “centering” which is often used to begin the sessions. This script for leading the centering activity can be found in Appendix 2.

Centering Candle: See Candle (above).

Change Cards: Change cards describe various changes that can take place when a special person dies. Each change card should be copied onto colored card stock paper, then laminated or covered with clear contact paper. The children take turns picking the change cards, and respond whether they have or have not experienced that change since the death of their special person. Change cards can be found in Appendix 2.

Check-in Sheet: Try to vary the ways the children check in each week. One way is to use the check-in sheet. Children are asked to make a mark on the check-in sheet from 1-10. 1 = the pits! 5 = so-so, and 10 = great. This is a visual way to see where the child sees him- or herself. It also invites them to talk about what made them put themselves on the scale in this way. The check-in sheet can be found in Appendix 2.

Childhood Depression Inventory (CDI): Group members are administered a brief (27 item) depression inventory (Kovacs, 1992) both at the start and the end of the curriculum. The CDI can be obtained by contacting Multi-Health Systems, Inc. 908 Niagara Falls Blvd., North Tonawanda, NY, 14120-2060. Fax: [phone] or Phone: [phone].

Code of Safety: In the second session, the children come up with rules so that they can all feel safe in the group. The rules are written, by the facilitator, on a piece of tagboard. Tagboard is used because it is sturdier than a piece of colored paper or copy paper. A piece about 11” x 17” should be sufficient size.

Colored Die: The colored die is used in conjunction with the grief reaction cards (described below). Use a small wooden block and cut out colored circles matching the colors of the grief reaction cards that have been copied onto neon colored card stock paper. Then cover each circle with clear contact paper. During the grief reaction card exercise the children throw the die and pick a card that corresponds to the color on the die.

Common Grief Reactions Checklist (CGRC): The CGRC (Jimerson, 1997) contains 65 common grief reactions of children. It is administered both at the beginning and the end of the curriculum. The CGRC can be found in Appendix 2.

Coulda-woulda-shoulda Post-its: These post-its are used in conjunction with the activity that explores any residual regret or guilt that the children may have around the death. Buy the smallest size post-its and write “coulda” on one, “shoulda” on another, and “woulda” on the last. Make sure that each child gets a set. The children are then asked to place each post-it on themselves as a way of signifying how guilt can stick to them. They then discuss which ones they can let go of, and remove them, symbolically letting go of this guilt.

Crayons: Crayons are used frequently in the groups. They are much easier to use if they are put into plastic containers with covers rather than the boxes that the crayons come in. Having the crayons accessible in big containers allows the children to use them easily and relieves the hassle of getting the right crayons into the right box. Crayola^® now offers multicultural crayons with various skin tone shades. These are ideal, so that children of color can draw themselves. If multicultural crayons are not available, have the children draw on colored sheets of paper, such as blue or green, which neutralize the drawing surface (see Blank Paper above) so that children of color don’t have to draw themselves as white.

Directions for Relaxation and Breathing Exercises: During the self-care session, the children are taught breathing and relaxation exercises. They are also used in conjunction with the Bio-dots^® so that the children can see how such exercises change their bodies. The directions can be found in Appendix 2.

Drawing Sheets: During several sessions, children do a drawing activity where they are given a sheet of paper that has a topic listed at the top. Sometimes this is done instead of journal writing and other times it is done in addition. All drawing sheets can be found in Appendix 2.

“Dispelling Common Myths”: Children are presented with some common myths about death, such as “death is contagious,” and “death is reversible,” etc. (see Blackboard/Tagboard above). They are asked to pick one of these myths and write it down; then they are to draw a picture that dispels the myth and write the correct statement (i.e., ‘death is irreversible’).

“My Family/Friends Before/After the Death”: This drawing sheet helps the children to get in touch with how their family/friends have changed since the death through drawing. Children are asked to draw a picture of their family/friends before the death and then draw a picture of their families/friends after the death. Encourage them to draw their entire bodies, not just their faces. Also, they may want to draw their families/friends in a symbolic way rather than literally; for example, they may represent them as a tree. After, they will share what they drew, discuss how the pictures are different and how things have changed.

“My Last Memory”: Children are asked to draw the last memory they have of their special person. In other words, they draw the last time they spent with their special person before he or she died. The exception to this exercise would be if the death was traumatic and the child witnessed the death. In this instance, the potential for retraumatization is high and must be assessed before this exercise is done. If a child witnessed a traumatic death, you may want them to draw a picture of the last time they spent time with the special person before the death.

“This is what I remember about the funeral” or “This is what I remember about the day my special person died”: These drawing sheets invite the child to draw either what he or she remembers about the funeral or about the day his or her special person died.

Elastic (or fishing wire and clasps): During week 9, the children make their beaded wristbands. They will string the beads that they have been choosing each week. Use elastic and help the children tie it, or fishing wire with clasps. See beads (above).

Feeling Circle: The feeling circle is another variation for a...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Halftitle
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• Preface
• Introduction
• Grief Support Group Curriculum
• Appendix 1: A Description of Materials
• Appendix 2: Samples of Materials to be Used
• Appendix 3: Sample Notes to be Sent Home to Caregivers
• Appendix 4: Special Activities: Holidays
• Appendix 5: Sample Curriculum for a Special Day
• Index
• About the Authors