The Culinary Plagiarist
(Mis)Adventures of a Lusty, Thieving, God-Fearing Gourmand
- 294 pages
- English
- ePUB (mobile friendly)
- Available on iOS & Android
About This Book
More than a collection of vignettes and stories from garden, grill, and kitchen, The Culinary Plagiarist is a sustained adventure in gustatory delight, an intensely private but candid account of desire and all its objects. Opinionated on the full range of human experience, from fasting to inebriety, from sports to politics, from religion to raunch, it is at once serious, humorous, ironic, reflective, grateful, allusive, and appetitive. Along the way it offers a defense of small-scale, local life, of family, of place, and of "the bread we do not live alone by." And also the drinks. Don't forget the drinks. This is a book for people who enjoy being alive, whether in the kitchen, the pasture, the library, the barn, the trout stream, the henhouse (or the doghouse), or the bedroom.
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Table of contents
- Title Page
- Preface
- Introduction
- Chapter 1: Apple Blossoms and Horseshit and Divine Intention
- Chapter 2: After All, It Almost Rhymes With Bikini
- Chapter 3: The First Morel, the Skipped Meeting, and a New Verb Infinitive
- Chapter 4: Primary? What Primary?
- Chapter 5: Well, It’s Not like After the Risotto
- Chapter 6: Casting Asparagus on Another Person’s Character
- Chapter 7: An Expostulation Upon the Morning B.M.
- Chapter 8: In the Season of Sweet Basil
- Chapter 9: Turn the Turnip to Good Account
- Chapter 10: The Lamb Shank Redemption
- Chapter 11: Cioppino in the Heartland and the Cost of Misbehaving
- Chapter 12: Hungry for Meatless
- Chapter 13: She’s Headed for the Pollo Side of Town
- Chapter 14: How to Cheat on Your Wife in the Kitchen
- Chapter 15: Chicken Erotica and the Venus Transit
- Chapter 16: Carbonara-Based Life*
- Chapter 17: Carbonara Redux En Toto in the ’80s Kitchen
- Chapter 18: Carpe Bacon
- Chapter 19: Baconation on a Theme
- Chapter 20: The Blouse, the Pig, and the Fox
- Chapter 21: She Don’t Lie, She Don’t Lie, She Don’t Lie . . . Propane!
- Chapter 22: Indirect Heat: 1; Miami Heat: 0; Or, Ode to the Porcine Dead
- Chapter 23: Barbecued Ribs and “The Best That Ever Was!”
- Chapter 24: Tuesdays with Jesus
- Chapter 25: Careful Exegesis and the Au Bleu Ribeye
- Chapter 26: The Thoughtful Carnivore Eats Raw Beef
- Chapter 27: Cutting the Mustard
- Chapter 28: The After-Dinner Cigar
- Chapter 29: Men, Women, and the Dishwasher
- Chapter 30: Agricultural Potential, Real Wealth, and the Gold Gold Standard
- Chapter 31: Haber-Bosch and the Problem of Whom to Tickle
- Chapter 32: Against Breakfast
- Chapter 33: For Breakfast
- Chapter 34: And Now For a Little Abstinence; or, Approach to Clean Monday #1
- Chapter 35: Lenten Humility, Bar Jester Style; or, Approach to Clean Monday #2
- Chapter 36: Cool as a Cucumber—In This Heat
- Chapter 37: The Pick-Up and the Pasta
- Chapter 38: Chicken Aioli with a Seventeenth-Century Wag and the Greatest Living Guitarist
- Chapter 39: O Summer! O Saturday! O Barbecued Chicken!
- Chapter 40: Beer: It’s What’s For Dinner
- Chapter 41: The Neighborhood Bar and the Chief End of Man
- Chapter 42: Bourbon
- Chapter 43: James Bond, The Poet Laureate, and a Plagiarized Drink
- Chapter 44: The Teleology of Vodka
- Chapter 45: Variation on the Theme of Vodkaean Teleology
- Chapter 46: Concerning Spite; or, Metaphysics as a Guide to Porters
- Chapter 47: How to Write History and Practice Bourbon Politics
- Chapter 48: Something’s Fishy—But Not Very —At Suppertime
- Chapter 49: On the Conversion of Grass and Sunlight; or, Round Steak in a World Gone Mad
- Chapter 50: Skillet Penne Sausage and The New Year’s Dissolution
- Afterword