How to Win Against History

Songbook Edition

Seiriol Davies

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2017
• ISBN:
  9781786822413
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Media & Performing Arts
• Subtopic: Theatre

Henry Cyril Paget, 5th Marquis of Anglesey (1875 - 1905) was born to inherit the Empire. Instead, he burned brightly, briefly and transvestitely through his family's vast wealth; putting on fabulous plays starring him. When he died, his vengeful heirs burned every trace of his existence they could find, and carried on as though he'd never been. Ouch. This Songbook Edition contains the fully-transcribed piano and vocal arrangements for all fourteen songs from the show, so you can have a sherry and sing any of the glamorous roles: Prophetic Ghost! Prominent aesthete Lord Berners! Person from Didcot! etc.

PROLOGUE

In which you’re told pretty much the whole story upfront in case
you briefly lose consciousness for some reason later on.

The BAND is in position at the piano. He is serious and professional, but has not necessarily seen this show before.

Enter Mr Alexander KEITH舁¹, a real actor. His every movement is practised and impressive. He would never dream of stealing the spotlight from HENRY, his benefactor. Ever.

KEITH opens the door to let HENRY in; KEITH directs the audience to start applauding.

HENRY² enters, and is surprised and delighted by the totally spontaneous applause. He is a fragile, gawky, optimistic, apologetic creature: a glassy man-child with matinée idol makeup and a fabulous frock. He looks like he taught himself to move by studying old paintings of sprites and nymphs. Instead of speaking, he sings in a gentle, mannered voice.

H: I am lonely,

But I am rich.

I am worried,

But I’m a cross dresser.

I am certain

That I am fierce.

I am an a-a-a-aristocrat.

KEITH cues a fulsome and triumphant chord from BAND at the piano, which surprises and delights HENRY, who had been slightly regretting starting this song. But he continues with élan.

H: Who is this man, standing in front of us as though it was no big deal?

He can sing very well certainly, but what is his name we cannot see?

Is his name Cuthbert?

He eyeballs someone in the front row, until they answer.

H: [sotto] No, no it’s not Cuthbert.

Is it Albert?

Gazes at another.

H: [sotto] It’s not, no.

Is it Henry?

Grins broadly at a third.

H: [sotto] It is, yeah.

He launches away into the next bit, with big hand gestures.

H: Henry, Henry Cyril,

(Cyril is is his second name

So he’s Henry Cyril)

Henry Cyril PAGET!³

And Paget is the third name,

And it’s the most important name

Because it’s the family name

And family is

HKB: HISTORY!

HENRY is excited by the fact that he seems to have three voices and can self-harmonise.

He inadvertently twiddles a hand, and a musical swirl happens. He swirls again, pleased with his power. He swirls a third time and it becomes sad, and he realises that, yes, “sad” is correct.

H:Regrettably very little is known about my life. But I was an actual Edwardian noble, the Fifth Marquis of Anglesey, and one of the wealthiest men in the world!⁴ From a long line of other Marquises of Anglesey going back several years: war heroes⁵ [musical ripple], landowners [musical ripple] and me [...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Regrettably: A Foreword
• Devising the Show
• How To Win Against History
• Feetnote
• Cut Song: Nobody Really Knows
• Cut Song: How To Be In Control
• Also Available