Wedding Day at the Cro-Magnons
eBook - ePub

Wedding Day at the Cro-Magnons

  1. 81 pages
  2. English
  3. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  4. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

Wedding Day at the Cro-Magnons

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About This Book

As the bombs fall in Lebanon, a family prepares for their narcoleptic daughter's wedding feast. There's a main course that won't die, a bride who cannot stay awake and the small matter of an absent bridegroom... An audacious and anarchic comedy from a writer who knows first-hand what it feels like to be caught in a war-zone.

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Yes, you can access Wedding Day at the Cro-Magnons by Wajdi Mouawad in PDF and/or ePUB format, as well as other popular books in Literature & Canadian Drama. We have over one million books available in our catalogue for you to explore.

Information

Publisher
Oberon Books
Year
2018
ISBN
9781786823830
Edition
1

Act One

A middle class apartment, visibly damaged by bombing. Morning.
NAZHA: Thatā€™s not how itā€™s going to start this time!
NEEL: It always starts the same way, Mama!
NAZHA: Shit!
NEEL: How else do you want it to start if not the same way?!
NAZHA: What is this rubbish?!
NEEL: Always, always, always the same way!
NAZHA: Who chose the lettuce ā€“ you or the Armenian?!
NEEL: Mama!
NAZHA: Was it you or that monkey turd who chose this lettuce, Neel?!
NEEL: It was him!
NAZHA: Just look at this! Stick your nose in it!
NEEL: Donā€™t get so UPSET!
NAZHA: And now explain to me how on earth, I mean, what brilliant technique am I supposed to use to turn shit like this into food!
NEEL: Alright! Donā€™t get so upset about a fucking lettuce!
NAZHA: What are you doing?!
NEEL: Iā€™ll go to the Greek this time!
NAZHA: Oh, brilliant. My son is an ass. I have an ass for a son!
NEEL: And if I donā€™t find any lettuce at the Greekā€™s, Iā€™ll steal some from the sheikhā€™s garden!
NAZHA: Where the hell do you think youā€™re going?!
NEEL: To the Greek to get your fucking lettuce!
NAZHA: Great. And afterwards, Iā€™ll just drag our neighbours to your funeral! I can just see the look on their facesā€¦Donā€™t you dare leave this house!
NEEL: Well itā€™s pretty stupid to do this on a day theyā€™re bombing!
NAZHA: How could we have known? We couldnā€™t have guessed! You canā€™t predict idiocy like you can predict the weather!
NEEL: Yes well, weatherā€™s not exactly rosy is it; look over there, the sky is growling at us; soon itā€™ll be all black!
NAZHA: Fine. Your sisterā€™s dress will look all the more white!
NEEL: My sisterā€™s dress is still at the dressmakerā€™s!
NAZHA: Heā€™s going to bring it over before noon.
NEEL: If he doesnā€™t get blown up on the way!
NAZHA: (Returning to her lettuce.) Ugh, he wiped himself with it!
NEEL: Sunshine all day, they said. Donā€™t make me laugh!
NAZHA: He wipes his arse with his lettuces, that disgusting slob! Donā€™t ever go back to the Armenianā€™s, do you hear me?!
NEEL: Weā€™ll never go back to the Armenianā€™s.
NAZHA: He sells lettuce that smells of fish.
NEEL: What do you have against fish?
NAZHA: Bring me a bag and throw out this crap. Weā€™re not having salad.
NEEL: No salad.
NAZHA: Right, no salad. You donā€™t need salad for a meal, my boy. Come to think of it, itā€™s better not to have salad.
NEEL: I told you itā€™ll always start the same way. Always, always, always.
NAZHA: You think so? No!
No! If there isnā€™t any salad, weā€™ll have potatoes. I know, weā€™ll fry them! Yes, thatā€™s it. Weā€™ll have fried potatoes! Get me the cloth bag under the kitchen sink, I think I still have some good potatoes left. No oneā€™s going to tell me there wonā€™t be a wedding feast the day of my daughterā€™s wedding. Weā€™ll have potatoes.
NEEL: Those potatoes are rotten, Mama!
NAZHA: Well, all the more reason to use them up! We canā€™t be throwing out food when there are men fighting just a hundred yards away. No, weā€™re going to fry those potatoes.
NEEL: If the potatoes are friable, weā€™ll bloody well fry them.
NAZHA: Come on, donā€™t dawdle, weā€™ll have to skin them.
NEEL: If the potatoes are skinnable, weā€™ll bloody well skin them.
NAZHA: Fucking shit! With all this, I still havenā€™t finished.
NELLY: (Off.) When are we going to Berdawnay? Next Friday?
NAZHA: Not again!
NEEL: Thatā€™s the third time in two hours.
NELLY: (Off.) When are we going to Berdawnay?
NEEL: Next Friday!
NAZHA: She must have fallen asleep under the sink again. Go and get her.
NEEL: And Walter?
NAZHA: Walter didnā€™t sleep at home last night.
NEEL: Again?
NAZHA: As usual.
NEEL: But he promised heā€™d come home and play with me.
SOUHAYLA knocks and enters carrying several delicious looking plates of food. In the distance, light bombing is heard.
SOUHAYLA: At last!
NAZHA: Souhayla!
NEEL: He promised me!
SOUHAYLA: I thought Iā€™d give you a hand!
NAZHA: Youā€™re such a darling, Souhayla!
NELLY: (Off.) When are we going to Berdawnay?
SOUHAYLA puts the dishes down.
NEEL: Next Friday! He promised heā€™d come and play with me.
NAZHA: But you shouldnā€™t have! No, really, you shouldnā€™t have. Itā€™s too much! Itā€™s really t...

Table of contents

  1. Front Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Half-Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Characters
  7. Act One
  8. Act Two
  9. Act Three
  10. Act Four
  11. Glossary