The Acid Test

Anya Reiss

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2012
• ISBN:
  9781849437554
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

This has been the worst day of my life. So can you please get drunk with me? Dana, Ruth and Jess down shots to console the heart-broken, to comfort the anxious and just pass the time. Kicked out from the family home Jess's dad, Jim, invades the party with just as much recklessness as the girls. As the night passes and vodka bottles are emptied, Friday night in becomes high drama. An unruly new comedy asking if age equals maturity, Acid Test opened at the Royal Court in May 2011.

Characters

DANA LORRE, 22

RUTH JOHNSTON, 21

JESSICA BANK, 21

JIM BANK, 57

SETTING

A first-floor London flat’s living room;

A sofa in the centre with an about-to-break coffee table in front overloaded with magazines, cups and an ashtray. A pile of cushions serve as a chair to the side and a small TV faces the sofa. Behind the sofa is another table with ipod speakers on it. There are girls’ clothes and underwear drying on a clothes rack. The front door and a door to the kitchen are stage left while a corridor leading to the bedrooms and a door into the bathroom are stage right.

‘In the real dark night of the soul it is always 3 o’clock in the morning, night after night’

F. Scott Fitzgerald

SCENE ONE

Friday 9pm. It’s raining outside, in the empty flat you can hear running water, a clap of thunder then Laffy Taffy by D4L playing from the speakers. DANA LORRE emerges from the bedrooms wearing her bra and tracksuit bottoms. She dances around the room vaguely with a cigarette in her mouth and pours herself a glass of wine. She goes into the bathroom, the flat is empty again. She runs out with only a towel obviously having just got into the bath and disappears down the corridor, she returns with a razor and runs back into the bathroom and shuts the door. The doorbell rings, no response. It rings again and again. Someone starts bashing the door.

DANA: (From the bathroom.) I’m in the bath

GIRL’S VOICE: (From outside the door.) It’s me! It’s me!

DANA: I’m in the fucking bath

GIRL’S VOICE: Dana! It’s me

DANA: I’m in the bath!

GIRL’S VOICE: Dana! It’s me

DANA: I know it’s you, I’m in the bath

GIRL’S VOICE: Dana?

DANA: Oh my fucking God!

RUTH JOHNSTON enters using her keys, a total mess and wet from the rain.

RUTH: Are you in the bath?

DANA: How did you get in?

RUTH: My key

DANA: Then why did you ring the door?

RUTH: I couldn’t find it, I…I didn’t want…can I come in?

DANA: No what the fuck is the matter with you?

RUTH: Dana Dana please

DANA: I’m in the bath

The handle turns.

DANA: Ruth! I’m naked; I’m in the bath, fuck off you fucking lesbian

RUTH: Get out then

DANA: Ruth you know the lock’s broke. Don’t come in

RUTH opens the door, eyes closed.

DANA: What the fuck Ruth? You are so fucking, fucking annoying you…pass me the towel

RUTH gropes on the floor, looking for the towel and throws it into the bathroom.

RUTH: Okay?

DANA: (Comes out into the flat towel wrapped around her.) What do you want?

RUTH: Can I have a bath?

DANA: What?

RUTH: Dana please I have had the worst fucking night of my life

DANA: What? Why? What’s the matter with you? (Turns the music off.) You look angry

RUTH: I’m not angry! I’m upset!

DANA: Why?

RUTH: I don’t want to talk about it

DANA: You just dragged me out the fucking bath

RUTH: Can you stop swearing at me?

DANA: Can you let me have a bath?

RUTH: Twix broke up with me

DANA: Oh shit

RUTH: Happy? Happy? You’re so fucking…I’m so…(Starts to cry.)

DANA: Oh Ruth sorry, I didn’t know, don’t cry…umm…

DANA pulls the towel around her and gives RUTH a hug, RUTH wails, DANA is torn between sympathy and concern for her towel, RUTH pulls away.

RUTH: You’re wet

DANA: So are you

RUTH: It’s raining

DANA: Sit down

RUTH: I don’t want to sit down

DANA: What do you want? You can have a bath

Ruth –You’ve used the hot w...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Characters
• SCENE ONE