Laburnum Grove

J. B. Priestley

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2013
• ISBN:
  9781849438292
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

Ferndale, Laburnum Grove. A quiet, residential address in one of the newer north London suburbs. George Radfern, decent, respectable citizen and householder spends his Sunday evenings in his greenhouse, listening to Handel on the wireless. But when his grasping in-laws and daughter's obnoxious beau try to coax more money from him, George makes an unlikely confession. An exploration of greed and dishonesty in suburban England, Priestley observes the facade of middle class respectability, and its crooked undercurrent with verve and humanity in this immorally comic story of money, family, and criminality.

ACT ONE

The Scene is the living-room in the RADFERNS’ house, ‘Ferndale’, Laburnum Grove, Shooters Green – a suburb in North London. The time is Sunday evening in late summer, still daylight at first. On the back wall from right to left are a small window, then a door that can lead directly into a greenhouse, then a larger window looking out on to a back garden. In the right wall, downstage, is a door into a small hall, leading to the front door of the house and the stairs. In the left wall is a door leading into the kitchen. Against this wall, beyond the door, is a small sideboard with whisky decanter, soda syphon, and several bottles of beer on it. In the corner, between the left wall and the large window, is an oval or round table, on easy castors, that is laid for supper but is covered with two cloths. In the opposite corner is a small table on which is a telephone, and near it a loud-speaker and wireless set. There are one or two easy chairs and several dining-room chairs in the room, which is brightly, comfortably furnished in a suburban style. When the curtain rises MRS BAXLEY and ELSIE are discovered seated at a small card table in the centre. MRS BAXLEY is a woman in her forties, dressed in a smart-shabby style, a mixture of silliness and calculating selfishness. ELSIE is a pretty but rather petulant and discontented girl of twenty or so, the kind you see in the High Street of every fairly prosperous suburb. ELSIE is shuffling a pack of cards and when she has finished she cuts them into two, towards MRS BAXLEY, who then proceeds to put them together and deal them face downward on the table into six packs.

MRS BAXLEY: (As she finishes dealing the cards.) To yourself… your home…your wish. Have you wished, Elsie?

ELSIE: Yes, Auntie. Very definitely.

MRS BAXLEY: What you do expect – what you don’t expect and what’s sure to come true. Mind you, I’m not always in the mood, you know. Sometimes I can’t see things at all, and then at other times, it’s all as clear as anything, and everything I tell people comes true. It’s a gift, you know. One can’t control it.

PRIESTLEY ELSIE: (With signs of excitement.) Well, you must be in the mood tonight, Aunt Lucy.

MRS BAXLEY: Why? What’s exciting you tonight? I know there’s something.

ELSIE: I’ll tell you afterwards. It would spoil it if I told you now. You must tell me things first.

MRS BAXLEY: All right, but I hope your mother won’t come back in the middle of it, because she doesn’t like me to read the cards for you – she told me so, the other day.

ELSIE: Mother won’t be back from Mrs Repington’s until after supper. That’s why she got supper all ready (Indicating table in corner.) before she went. So you needn’t worry about her.

MRS BAXLEY: All right then.

(Picks up first lot of cards and examines them, and does the same with succeeding lots throughout the speeches that follow. She assumes the usual far-away mystical air of the clairvoyant, which is in sharp and comic contrast to her tone and manner when making remarks not directly concerned with the fortune-telling.)

Um… Um… Well, the first thing I see, Elsie, is a great surprise. Yes, you’re going to have a great surprise.

ELSIE: A surprise? When?

MRS BAXLEY: Very soon.

ELSIE: How soon? Next week?

MRS BAXLEY: Perhaps sooner.

ELSIE: Well, it can’t be much sooner. It’s Sunday night and nearly next week now.

MRS BAXLEY: Well, it’s coming very soon. And it isn’t a nice surprise. I don’t think you’ll like it.

ELSIE: (Reproachfully.) Oh – Aunt Lucy!

MRS BAXLEY: I can’t help it. I’m only telling you what’s here in the cards.

ELSIE: What’s it about?

MRS BAXLEY: (Brooding over more cards.) I think it’s something to do with a medium-coloured man.

ONE ELSIE: (Thinking hard.) A medium-coloured man? Is he young?

MRS BAXLEY: No, I don’t think he is. Your home comes into it.

ELSIE: (Disappointed.) Oh!

MRS BAXLEY: Yes, I think the medium-coloured man must be your father.

ELSIE: Is it – is it about an engagement?

MRS BAXLEY: No, I don’t see an engagement connected with it. I think you’re simply going to get a great surprise from your father.

ELSIE: (Disgusted.) That’s just like the cards. They’re always like that. A great surprise – from Dad – of all people! I suppose the great surprise will be that he’s grown two tomatoes in his greenhouse. Or they’re going to play Handel’s Largo for him on the wireless. Or he can’t find his pipe or one of his silly detective stories or something. Dad!

MRS BAXLEY: Well, it’s all here – quite plain.

ELSIE: Perhaps you’re not in the mood tonight, Auntie.

MRS BAXLEY: (Coldly.) As a matter of fact, I am seeing very clearly tonight. But it was you who asked me to read the cards, Elsie, and if you don’t choose to accept what I see, I’ll stop.

ELSIE: No. Sorry. Go on.

MRS BAXLEY: (Examining more cards.) Also a great surprise for two people staying in your house. And they’re going to leave quite soon.

ELSIE: That must be you and Uncle Bernard. You’re the only people staying in the house, besides Dad and Mother and me.

MRS BAXLEY: (Not pleased at this.) Humph! Very queer. I can’t imagine what surprise we’ll get and anyhow we hadn’t thought of leaving you yet and nothing’s been said about our going. Humph! Perhaps I’m not getting it right after all.

ELSIE: Go on. Tell me some more.

MRS BAXLEY: (Examining last lots of cards.) You’re going to travel. And quite soon.

ELSIE: (Excitedly.) I’m not, am I?

MRS BAXLEY: You are. It’s all here. A journey. Strange beds. Crossing water. And it’ll come as a great surprise. This isn’t the same surprise as the other, though. That’s quite different. You’re going on a long journey very soon, across water.

ELSIE: It sounds too good to be true. You’re not just making this up to please me, are you?

MRS BAXLEY: (On her dignity.) Certainly not. I never make up anything to please anybody.

ELSIE: Then it’s just the cards again. They call anything a long journey, just to make it exciting. They’ve had me before like that. They tell you about a journey and crossing water and a strange bed and a fair woman and a dark man until you think you’re in for something marvelously exciting, and then it turns out you’re going to spend the night at Aunt Florrie’s at Sydenham. I’ll believe in this long journey when I see it. I’ll bet it turns out to be like that great surprise from the medium-coloured man...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Act One
• Act Two
• Act Three