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wikiHow To Find Things You Have Lost
(1) Try to remember the last time you had the item.
The last time I saw my grandfather with his memory was two months ago,
it danced on his tongue as he taught me about gardening,
about how you can never predict which plant will be weakened by weeds.
(2) Think of everywhere you went since you lost the item.
My grandfather spends most days ransacking hell;
hell is the heat of our crowded breaths asking why
he no longer remembers us.
There are two things to do when looking for the item:
(a) Try to get in the mindset you had when you lost the item.
My grandfather was a patient man,
but patience is useless to a man being pinned to a target by a clock.
Each family member waters the parched mouth of their search
with a can of anger in hope it will hasten the growth of answers.
(b) Be positive and relaxed when searching for your item.
When my grandfather transforms into Edward Scissorhands
we force pills down his throat to detach the blades.
(3) Retrace your steps.
I asked my grandfather when he first noticed loss of memory, he said
it could be that timeĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I was catching up with a friend
and the wind was a vulture snatching wordsĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā from my mouth.
It could be that time
I was ironing my tie for workĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā and Mona reminded me I had retired
from the computer firm years earlier.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā It could be that time
I hid in my room for days after the mirror called meĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā an intruder
It could be that timeĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I went for a walk
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā and my legs felt like two faulty compasses
until the dark green painted mama-put shop told me I was
never far away fromĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā home.
(4) Search thoroughly for your item.
I led my grandfather to the tomato stew pot in the kitchen
and prayed for him to inhale memories.
Grandma says the aroma of food is a nest
where vivid memories of when it mingled with us is stored.
The smoke from the stew thick with Maggi cubes rose up
to his nose like a sky lantern released by a grieving loved one,
and my grandfather became a trigger spilling with memories.
He told us stories of Sundays when his children and we
the grandchildren gathered to feast on jollof rice and plantain.
To keep the triggers pouring I begged him to search my face;
though I do not resemble him, I can recite back our conversations
in his spitting image.
(5) Ask for help.
We have prayed to God for his healing to arrive quicker, made it clear
we donāt want to be lab rats used to test the stretch of faith.
We asked the doctor for help and the doctor claimed this loss
can never be recovered, and neither can the body.
Call me pessimistic, but what difference does it make anyway,
man can only delay death, not stop it.
(6) Take a break.
My grandfather has stopped searching for his memory,
I tried resuming the search,
but he refused, he does not remember what he is looking for.
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Death: Definitions (I)
/dĪµĪø/
noun
The plague that whittled down my family size
by one less grandfather.
Or
The tool that maintains equilibrium;
one human exits earth for one new one to enter.
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Friday the 13th
Every year my grandfather is not alive
my grandmother blows out candles on a cake
spongy as a corpse and celebrates the parts of him
living in her grandchildren.
I am sure someone will miss me
when my age becomes a stagnant number.
If not, Iāll wave from heaven,
even if the world dismisses it as a violent wind.
My mother danced into my room with a candle-lit
birthday cake, the fire rose to form a chandelier.
She poured a song into my small hands
like medicine poured into a teaspoon.
Later, I went into school with my birthday badge
to remind the class I am not dead. Emma murmured
āno one caresā. She was a generous beast,
she gave her teeth to everyone I met later in life.
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Insomnia is a Cheap Drug
Cause of use | Anyone who is hungry for a way to elongate the erasure of themselves will experiment with methods. Sadness is the silent syllable in every stored sound you know, your brain is in desperate need of emptying its memories, and not everyone wants to wait till their 60s for the body to naturally begin to forget or for a prayer to return with results. |
How it was first ... |
