Where in the World is Your Professionalism?

Heather Davis,

• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Year: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781642986266
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Self Improvement

Struggling in managing the workplace bully? This is a brief guide that includes tips for both the employer and the employee in how best to manage unacceptable behavior(s) in the workplace. For the employer, professionalism is defined, suggested inclusion for policy is reviewed, and concepts such as team building and open-door communication are reviewed. For the employee, assertion skills, self-care, stress management, and self-esteem are addressed. Learn how to take care of self and not allow the bully to continue to win.

Chapter One

I was on top of the world. I had just graduated with my master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, married the love of my life, and relocated to the opposite side of the country. I was excited about the opportunities that were ahead. I was excited to begin my journey as a therapist. I worked at a nearby retail store before finding a job as a therapist. I found myself to be a new inpatient drug and alcohol therapist.

The people were great, in fact, the best coworkers that I have ever worked with to date. They welcomed me with open arms. I had a lot to prove. They viewed me as a sheltered young girl from Pennsylvania who had a lot to learn. Although they respected my new degree, they made it known that it meant not too much in the field of drug and alcohol. I would have had a better chance at being the perfect package if I had personal experiences with being in recovery. At any rate, they took the time to teach me all that they knew of addiction and recovery.

I then met the bully. She was awful. Miserable. At first, she would say or do things to intimidate me. She made it well known that she was in her sixties with many, many years of experience as a drug and alcohol counselor. She even had her own experiences with addiction and had been in recovery herself for twenty-plus years. She often dismissed my ideas or debated my thoughts. I dreaded every Thursday. Thursdays were dedicated to a full day of treatment team. This day was always the worst. She felt that she needed to put on a display in front of the others. No one at the table, including the clinical director and executive director, had a say in admissions, programming, or treatment. If she did not agree, it did not happen. Oftentimes, she would leave the room abruptly.

I remember one incident so clearly. I had brought up something that was said the day earlier. She came across the table and slammed her fist down on the table, yelling and calling me a liar. I was taken aback by her posturing, as well as everyone else around the table. For a split second, I questioned if she was going to hit me. She left the room.

For weeks, everyone talked about the incident. For a small agency, there was a lot of whispering. Everyone talked about what happened and how they could not believe that she acted in that way. Believe it or not though, no one ever addressed the issue with her. Neither did I. I stayed as far away as I could from her. She intimidated me, and she knew it. Instead of fighting back and standing up for myself, I would look at her with a blank stare and cry after returning to my office.

I was there to do a job. I stuffed my personal feelings and remained professional. She was facilitating a group, and I decided to sit in to observe. Gosh, I wish I hadn’t. I knew that I was new to therapy, but I could not deny the level of damage that was inflicted that day. We sat in a circle with a group of fourteen. She had one girl (we will call her Kelly) sit in the very middle of the circle facing her. Kelly talked about her life and hardships. Kelly talked about her years of drug use and prostitution. Then it happened so quickly.

Therapist: Tell me what you are.

Kelly: What?

Therapist: You heard me. Tell me what you are.

Kelly: I’m a slut.

Therapist: Louder.

Kelly: I’m a slut.

Therapist: You’re not saying it loud enough, you fucking slut. Tell me what you are.

Kelly: I’M A SLUT.

Therapist: That’s right. You’re a fucking slut. You’re a worthless, fucking slut.

This went on and on for what seemed like a full hour. Kelly was shaking and crying hysterically. Everyone in the group sat quietly while my heart felt like it dropped to my stomach. In the end, she got up and hugged Kelly. She went on to talk about how mountains were moved during the group therapy session.

That night, Kelly climbed the fence and ran from the locked facility. The police were notified, and they had no luck finding her that night. The next afternoon, Kelly appeared in the lobby of the facility. She was covered in blood and dirt with her shirt ripped. According to Kelly, she left the facility and found herself to hitchhike with two men. While she was with the men, she relapsed and was raped through the night. She cut herself in harsh slashes from her wrists to her elbows on both arms. The secretary immediately called for an ambulance, and she was transported to the local area hospital.

I could not believe it. Not only did she lack professionalism with her peers, but it obviously flowed into her work with her clients. I could not help to think that if the group therapy session that was held the day prior did not take place, this all could have been prevented. Call it cravings or call it drug-seeking behavior. To this day, I still believe that it was that group therapy session that pushed her to leave the facility.

I went to the executive director to report the awful group therapy session that I had observed. Again, it was brushed under the rug. It was explained to me that this is the sort of confrontational therapy that needs to be used in drug and alcohol treatment. What? I will never, ever call a client a slut. I will never, ever speak to a client in that manner. Her lack of professionalism and ethics were never addressed.

Of course, she heard that I went to the executive director to report her group therapy session, and she was not happy. Her behaviors escalated, and it was unbearable. Obviously, she had been an employee for over twenty-five years, and there was absolutely no intention of terminating her from the agency. At least, this is what I believed.

Several months passed, and her aggressive behaviors continued. Then it happened. We were in the resid...

Table of contents

• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• Chapter 3
• Chapter 4
• Chapter 5
• Chapter 6