Interpersonal Communication

Competence and Contexts

Shelley D. Lane

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2016
• ISBN:
  9781315506159
• Edition: 2
• Topic: Languages & Linguistics
• Subtopic: Communication Studies
• Index: Languages & Linguistics

Interpersonal Communication: Competence and Contexts prepares students to communicate successfully in today's fast-paced and complex society through the implementation of a unique competence-building model. This highly readable text provides the theories, concepts, and applications in a pedagogically sound format based on a model of communication competence made up of three elements: motivation, knowledge, and skill. Studying interpersonal communication through this distinct framework will provide a foundation for students' motivation to communicate competently, increase their knowledge about communication, and enhance their acquisition and performance of communication skills. Covering a broad range of interpersonal communication themes, including strategic alternatives and solutions to communication challenges and information about friendship, family, romantic, and workplace relationships, this Second Edition presents theories, concepts, and activities with engaging examples and an attention-getting design.

Interpersonal Communication

CHAPTER 1 Introduction to Interpersonal Communication

DOI: 10.4324/9781315506173-1

“Communication is a fundamental skill for building connection and contact, communion and community.” Dean Ornish, M.D., professor of medicine and author

In this chapter, we will answer the following:

Motivation: How will this help me?

• It is important to study interpersonal communication because interpersonal communication affects our thoughts, feelings, and interactions with others; enables us to create, maintain, and dissolve relationships; and helps us achieve career success.
• We can use intrapersonal communication and goal setting to reduce social anxiety that can rob us of our confidence and motivation to communicate in a competent manner.

Knowledge: What will I learn?

• How to define interpersonal communication competence
• The contexts that influence interpersonal communication
• The types of communication that are related to interpersonal communication competence
• Principles of communication
• The components involved in a transactional model of communication

Skill: Why do I need to develop these skills?

• Metacommunication can improve our interpersonal communication competence at the content and relational levels of communication.

Have you ever experienced a day in which you conducted research on the Internet, text-messaged a friend, answered emails, and sent a fax? Maybe you or someone you know attends classes, works, is involved in a relationship, and ends the day too tired to speak with anyone. Perhaps you communicate with people from a variety of cultures and work hard to maintain your relationships with intimate partners, friends, and colleagues. You may even work with others to rebuild your community, similar to the people who worked together to revitalize New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Although we live in a dynamic and complex society that sometimes makes it difficult to communicate with others, it is possible to be motivated, knowledgeable, and skillful to interact competently with our conversation partners. This book is written to help you communicate in a competent manner in a fast-paced, technology-oriented, and diverse society. In this chapter, we will learn that our motivation to communicate competently can be enhanced by understanding why it’s important to study interpersonal communication, using intrapersonal communication and goal setting to reduce social anxiety, and engaging in perspective taking and other techniques in which we use our imagination. We will also increase our knowledge of communication by learning about interpersonal communication competence and contexts that affect others’ perceptions of competent interaction; types and principles of communication; and components associated with a transactional model of the communication process. Finally, we will learn to use the skill of metacommunication, or “communication about communication,” when we interact with others.

The Study of Interpersonal Communication

Before we justify the study of interpersonal communication, we need to characterize it. Interpersonal communication involves at least two people who establish a communicative relationship. People engaged in interpersonal communication have the power to affect each other as individuals and as interconnected partners in relationships. Therefore, studying interpersonal communication enables us to create, maintain, and dissolve relationships. Also, people who are skilled in interpersonal communication are more likely to achieve career success. On the other hand, people who don’t have effective and appropriate interpersonal skills over time may engage in behaviors such as alcohol and drug abuse, risky sexual activity, criminal activity, and intimate partner violence. Interpersonal communication also has the power to affect physical health. Studies conducted by researchers at Yale, Harvard, Johns Hopkins, Stanford, and UCLA reveal that individuals who experience competent communication in intimate relationships have less coronary artery blockage and less stress and are less likely to develop cancer than individuals who lack intimate relationships.⁸ Moreover, scientists at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research found that communication with others improves memory and everyday decision making. The researchers suggest that talking with family and friends preserves and enhances mental functioning.⁹ Even modest improvements in our interpersonal communication are related to physical and psychological well-being in this research.¹⁰

Why is it important to study interpersonal communication?

Knowledge on the Cutting Edge

Technology Update: Communication and Our Changing World

Think about the diverse people you interact with, those you read about in the newspaper, and those you see on TV and in the movies. Globalization of the economy, population migration, and technology developments have transformed the world into a “global village” in which we can communicate with people almost anywhere on Earth.¹ Multinational corporations are increasingly moving operations overseas, and many people work in organizations that conduct business in many countries. More than 175 million migrants have left their countries for economic reasons, to escape war and civil conflict, or for family reunification. And through computer-mediated communication (CMC), we may come in contact with people who are very different from ourselves, often in ways we may not understand.² Globalization, population migration, and technological developments make it imperative, yet challenging, to understand interpersonal communication.

Is technology part of your daily life? Surveys in early 2006 revealed that 147 million U.S. adults are Internet users, an increase of 14 million over 2005. Twelve million people share information by posting material on a Web log (blog) or by using other content-creating applications, and 39% of Internet users read blogs.³ Similarly, wireless technology is changing the nature of 21st-century communication. Approximately 71% of all U.S. households own at least one cell phone, and wireless technology is changing how people interact. For example, social plans are made later in the day, and conversations tend to be shorter and more frequent.⁴ The explosion of CMC makes it necessary to study interpersonal communication.

Think about your daily activities. Are you often pressed for time? You’re not alone; 95% of Americans believe they don’t have enough time to accomplish all they need to do.⁵ A 2005 survey of U.S. workers found that 39% said they’d forgo a $5,000 raise for more time off.⁶ In a 2006 Associated Press-Ipsos poll, 20% of respondents admit they’re rude to employees if they are made to wait too long for service. We become impatient after five minutes “on hold” on the phone and won’t tolerate a wait of fifteen minutes in line.⁷ Our hectic and stressed-filled lifestyles make knowledge about interpersonal communication essential.

This book offers information about how to engage in competent interpersonal communication in our diverse, technology-oriented, fast-paced society. This information can help us improve our interpersonal communication and adapt to the changing world we live in.

Interpersonal Communication Competence

Not all interpersonal communication enables us to effectively adapt to our changing world, enhances our relationships and career success, and positively affects our psychological health and cognitive processes. Communication scholars Brian H. Spitzberg and William R. Cupach characterize communication competence as both effective and appropriate in an interpersonal context.¹¹ Competent communication is also civil and ethical. The ability to communicate in a competent manner is facilitated when we:

• Are motivated to communicate
• Are knowledgeable about the self, other, topic, context, and communication in general
• Are effective and appropriate in the performance of communication skills

How can we define interpersonal communication competence?

It’s important to note that perceptions of interpersonal communication competence are situational. There is no guarantee that a conversation partner will perceive as competent someone who is effective and appropriate, civil, ethical, motivated, knowledgeable, and skillful. As discussed later, our culture(s); family, friends, and coworkers; gender; and/or individual characteristics affect our perceptions of communication competence. Because interpersonal communication competence is situational, it’s best to develop a repertoire of communication behaviors and to choose the behaviors that best fit a particular situation.¹²

Effectiveness and Appropriateness

Recall that competent communication is both effective and appropriate. Effectiveness refers to achieving our goals, and appropriateness refers to conforming to the expectations or communication rules of a particular situation. Communication rules are prescriptions that tell us what we should or shouldn’t say or do in certain situations. We can tell that we’ve broken an interpersonal communication rule when we receive a negative sanction.¹³ A dirty look, a poke in the ribs, unexpected laughter, and even a verbal admonition (e.g., “That type of language is unacceptable!”) are examples of negative sanctions.

To illustrate effectiveness and appropriateness, consider the following situations. Suppose a classmate wishes to borrow your notes on the day before a test. Your classmate yells, “Gimme!” while walking past your desk and grabs the notes without asking for them. Although meeting the goal of “borrowing” your notes, your classmate’s behavior violates the expectations of the situation by taking your notes without asking permission. In other words, your classmate’s behavior is effective but it isn’t appropriate. Some time later, another classmate stops by your desk. With downcast eyes and a barely audible voice, your classmate nervously stammers, “uhm … er … if you don’t need to study, do you think I could use your notes for tomorrow’s test. Well… ahh … I understand if you can’t let me borrow them; you have to study for the test too. So it’s OK, I guess, if I can’t borrow them.” Of course, your answer is “No!” Although this classmate doesn’t violate the expectations of the situation and requests your permission before taking your notes, the goal isn’t achieved because you refuse the request. In other words, your classmate’s behavior is appropriate, but it isn’t effective. These situations show that both effectiveness and appropriateness are necessary to be a competent communicator.

KNOWLEDGE power • Is Your Communication Effective and Appropriate?

With a partner or in a group, recall a time when your interpersonal communication was effective but not appropriate. When did you realize that your communication was perceived as inappropriate? Did you receive negative sanctions for breaking communication rules? Discuss what you could have done differently to be perceived as appropriate. After sharing your experiences, recall a time when you were appropriate but not effective. What could you have done differently to meet your goals? Finally, talk about an experience when you were both effective and appropriate in your communication. Decide which of the three situations was most rewarding for yourself and for the other person(s) involved.

Communication Competence and Civility

Interpersonal communication competence and the appropriateness criterion, in particular, promote the social values of respect and civility. Civility can be c...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Half Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Contents
• Preface
• PART 1 Basics of Competent Communication
• Chapter 1 Introduction to Interpersonal Communication
• Chapter 2 Perception and Communication
• Chapter 3 The Self-Concept and Communication
• Chapter 4 Emotion and Communication
• Chapter 5 Verbal Communication
• Chapter 6 Nonverbal Communication
• Chapter 7 Conversation and Communication Style
• Chapter 8 Listening and Confirming Responses
• Chapter 9 Disconfirming Communication and Setting Boundaries
• Chapter 10 Interpersonal Relationships
• Chapter 11 Interpersonal Conflict
• Endnotes
• Photo Credits
• Glossary
• Index