Well-Being Writ Large

The Essential Work of Virginia Satir

Barbara Jo Brothers

• Publisher: Beyond Words
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9781582706993
• Topic: Social Sciences
• Subtopic: Social Work
• Index: Social Sciences

A comprehensive collection of Virginia Satir's research and teachings around the nature of humanity, author Barbara Jo Brothers has written the first ever tribute to the Mother of Family Therapy's life-work, capturing the essence of Satir's groundbreaking philosophies about the human race and the impact human's have on the Earth. In her career, the "Mother of Family Therapy" Virginia Satir strove to make life work better: for the individual, for families, for the entire world. With a training objective of "becoming more fully human, " Virginia believed that the principles for peace within families could be extrapolated to peace within the "world family." Having formulated her groundbreaking philosophies from her clinical observations of hundreds of families in multiple countries, Virginia's practices continue to impact the world at large, spreading peace and understanding. More than just a testament to Virginia's legacy, Well-Being Writ Large is a window into her thinking—a "biography" of a deeper understanding of the nature of the human being and how that human being might live better in her or his world. Author, licensed clinical social worker, and Virginia scholar Barbara Jo Brothers has painstakingly researched and drawn from Virginia's works—including books, articles, interviews, and transcribed lectures—personal notes made over the course of Satir's career, and direct conversations during Brothers's own extensive residential training to compile the most complete, most essential collection of Virginia Satir's work.

1

Foundation: Life Equals Growth

The life force, there is no end and no beginning; it is just there. If we were to think of it as an ongoing river, every once in a while something comes together like a fountain—which is one of us—takes that life force and makes all kinds of splashes.

—Virginia Satir, 1982

Virginia Satir often stated that we are all part of a vast, universal system in which the Force of Life provides energy for growth. This is an all-encompassing system; nobody steps outside this circle.

From that fact, Virginia took the next reasonable step and examined the means of aligning with the power of the permeating energy field. She looked at the elemental patterns that sustain life in all living things and made extensive clinical observations of those patterns as they manifest in humans. She observed that growth results not from rewarding and punishing but from nurturing and removing obstacles from the path of the growing entity.

From this understanding, Virginia developed her framework: the seed model. As the founding mother of family therapy, Virginia both used and taught this basic seed model as the most effective means to engender constructive change in family systems and in all other human systems as well. Throughout her training, she pointed out the dysfunctionality inherent in the antithesis—the domination/submission model—on which most human systems are based. Virginia saw the domination/submission model as simplistically and artificially imposed on systems, interfering with their more basic and natural growth process. Part of her mission was to start movement toward a societal shift in consciousness—worldwide—for people to be aware of the importance of distinguishing between these two models (see chapter 13).

It was not Virginia’s intent to come forth with a new model, call it “the seed model,” and set about to create techniques accordingly. She never developed a technique simply for the purpose of inventing a new technique. Her intent was much broader. She wanted to bring attention to the fact that the organic seed model is the underlying principle, the natural order of the universe. This principle is that each living entity’s natural process is to grow—to unfold the amazing potential packed in tiny bits of life, the unseen atoms and molecules whirling within the being’s structure—and ineluctably stretch outward to its goal.

Virginia’s work was to generate awareness and facilitate shifts of consciousness to accommodate this natural fact. She saw human beings as shining stars within the structure of creation. Virginia wanted to help sustain that light in each person, for each separate shining augments the light of the whole. She did not invent this seed model; she discovered its relevance to specific persons and systems. She set about revealing its ubiquitous, undergirding presence.

Working steadily, for decades, all around the world, she was also a one-woman research lab, gathering information about human interactions from many different cultures. Virginia’s work included live demonstrations of Family Reconstruction (see chapter 4) with volunteers from her usually large audiences. She wanted to make clear the basic similarities among human beings regardless of ethnic origin. She was also deeply invested in the empowerment of persons, teaching the relationship between self-esteem and communication as the major route to that end. People empowered with the understanding of their own unique personhood have no need to continue the domination/submission model. Their power would be allowed to emerge from within themselves; there would be no need to demonstrate personal power by imposing it externally to control others. They would be free to follow the organic flow of their own personal form of growth and development.

From her work within thousands of different family contexts from Caracas to Hong Kong as well as all over the North American continent, Virginia made pivotal observations about the basic nature and components of growth. She designed her work from that base. Her enormous success wherever and with whomever she worked validated her observations. Application of those principles gets results: the seed model is the framework for life.

In an interview with Sheldon Kramer in January 1988, Virginia discussed her lifelong habit of working from clinical observations rather than from theory:

I was somebody who never wanted to settle for being an armchair expert. I was sick to death of people who talked about people without knowing. I was addicted to the facts about people, so I gave myself permission—in fact, a requirement—that I spoke from experience. And when experience did not match the theories, I turned off the theory. That was something inside of me that’s followed me all the time. Most people think theory first and make the experience match the theory and they throw out their experience . . . I watched the experience first and I’ve found that people criticize me for it, since people take the theory first. And I wasn’t like that. (Kramer, 1995, 161–162)

Virginia was immensely practical. Rather than create complex theoretical models from simple basics, she distilled complex concepts into simple statements. Every concept and statement came from keen observations of multiple subtle and complex gestures and interactions. Aware of the depth of what she was uncovering in those observations, she asked of people: “Please do not confuse simplicity with superficiality. Please do not. My work and what I do is . . . deep . . . However, every bit of it is based on simplicity . . . It’s simple and powerful in a good way” (Satir, 1983b, 611).

For just one example, Virginia based some of her communication training exercises on the work of Alfred Korzybski (1933). His work with language was based on the discoveries made regarding quantum physics and how they relate to misuses in modern language (see chapter 2). Her work took into account the fundamental principles of the universe, laced here and there with Taoist philosophy, was mindfully spiritual, and always solidly grounded in careful observation of the behavior of specific human beings in interaction within systems.

The goal of this book is to elucidate the profundity packed densely within Virginia’s simplicity. Her work was based on the very workings of life itself, the energy that propels the universe—both simple and complex as a single living cell. Witnessing this paradox is to keep a pecan for months—even years. Plant it and you get a tree. Eventually, more pecans emerge. With enough time, you get a grove—all from the life or growth energy, somehow loaded into a lone pecan, pushing forth from within each one. A “simple” pecan—but who knows how the pecan contains a forest within its small shell? This latent power, unquestioned by everybody, is also not explained by anybody.

This mystery was not lost on Virginia. She often spoke, in wonder, about the potential packed into tiny cells. She understood the implications of the seed and how creation of a nurturing environment unleashes the force of the growth lying within. This model was her foundation as she worked with those “seeds” of potential flourishing: human beings.

World leaders, by and large, are ignorant of the implications of this power. Virginia sought to rectify this ignorance through teaching as far and as widely as possible.

Virginia made clear her credo, the alignment of her work with the living force in all growing things:

The life force, there is no end and no beginning; it is just there. If we were to think of it as an ongoing river, every once in a while something comes together like a fountain—which is [each] one of us—takes that life force and makes all kinds of splashes. Because we were born little, we will splash in accordance to what we were taught, not in terms of how we could splash in many different ways. So here are the underpinnings: we activate the life force, we codirect how things are going to happen; we do not create ourselves. Now there is a very great difference from having a picture of “how you should be” and cutting off or hiding that which does not fit. Totally different approach. So you can see that anything about child-rearing that is based on this [seed model concept of inherent natural growth] is going to lead to a totally different result than when based on this [threat/reward approach]. (Satir, 1994, 6–7)

The “different result” toward which the understanding leads is the perception of the unique nature and potential of each person and the acknowledgment of what is going on in a given moment of time. Tremendous power is available within the process of recognizing and acknowledging What Is, the here-and-now reality of a given current context (see chapter 7). Virginia drew our attention to the profound implications of each of us fully attending to what is and each of us being as packed with inner resources as that pecan that holds a forest within its small walls.

Virginia’s awareness of those inner resources, the concept of “personhood” and its attending ramifications, was among her richest and most important contributions to the field of mental health. She fashioned her meditative centering exercises to provide one venue for “drawing attention to your resources.” In the centering exercise (see Appendix A, page 297) with which she opened and closed all training sessions, Virginia spelled out access to “going deep inside to that treasure which you call your ‘self’—which you know by your name” (Satir, 1983b, 151). This concept of inner resources as treasure is by no means self-evident. Few people reach adulthood with a clear picture of the value of their own unique inner core or the value of time spent becoming familiar with that reality. Her centering exercise provides a simple practice for supportive self-validation. It was one of her routes toward engaging the whole person in her seminars and later in the student’s work as a therapist.

Being selfishly “self-centered” and being centered within one’s self are two very different processes. Would that every teacher and preacher, as well as every parent, might know the difference. Ignorance of the importance of self-appreciation within a context of appropriate humility is worldwide. Self-valuing and accurate self-evaluation are often denigrated because of our tendency to confuse those with narcissistic self-absorption. Virginia was the champion of the higher self, which she firmly believed exists in every human being.

This ability to perceive and focus on potential rather than pathology set her apart from most of her colleagues. Virginia was never preoccupied with mere problem solving; her focus was on freeing each human being for awareness of living within the context of What Is and for full expression of self. She wrote:

To reawaken the freedom to look, the freedom to touch, and the freedom to listen is a vital part of what restores the human being’s ability to function. When you placed yourselves in a position where you could make contact and talk freely, those two things began to restore something that was being destroyed. If you did nothing more when you have a family together than make it possible for them to really look at each other, touch each other, and listen to each other, you would have already swung the pendulum in the direction of a new start.

The meaning behind this may not be as profound to you as it is to me, but it seems basic. You can talk about all the treatment theories you like, but if you are not able to free people to contact each other, what good are theories? (Satir, 1975, 103)

Virginia did not deal in theories; she dealt with persons and their processes. She paid close attention to the nature of human interactions. In succeeding chapters, I elaborate on the significance of awareness concerning the essential uniqueness of each human being, as well as on differentiating constructive and destructive communication styles.

Different as she was from her colleagues, particularly in her earlier days, the last thing Virginia wanted was to be considered some kind of never-to-be-replicated genius anomaly in the psychotherapy world. She devoted her life to teaching what she had discovered and began a systematic training process toward that end. As she said:

It will be nice on my tombstone if they say, “Oh, Virginia was wonderful!” and everybody goes, “Yeah, Virginia was wonderful!” That’s not enough for me. I want something that says: “What Virginia did was not such a miracle. What it was is that she danced to a different drummer and she looked for different lenses.” And, all of that is teachable. (Satir, 1987a, tape 6)

Notice, Virginia said she danced to a different drummer. One does not envision her marching along in any straight lines; no, Virginia came dancing through the mental health field, tossing flowers of wisdom. Even her choice of language lifts us out of the lock-step, linear way of perception. Choice of words was by no means accidental; congruent communication was always Virginia’s goal.

She was seriously concerned that people understand her work as neither magic nor miracle. She had freed herself to listen and look for what is. What she wanted most was to be able to share her discoveries:

One of the things that I want to do is to demonstrate that everything I do is teachable. Maybe not in the usual ways, but it is teachable. It has now been developed over and over again . . . What I pioneered so many years ago, over fifty years ago now, was freakish at that time. At this point in time, it’s beginning to be mainstream. (Satir, 1987a, tape 6)

Virginia’s seed model for psychotherapy is a comprehensive model for living well in relationship with oneself, one’s family, one’s community, and the world community. She believed the well-lived life to be not only a real possibility but a basic and universal human right.

She had discovered key universal principles in her fifty years of professional experience and she was deeply committed to public education regarding those principles. She believed it made no more sense for mental health professionals “to keep such information to themselves as mathematicians [keeping] . . . the multiplication tables to themselves” (Starr, 1991, 5).

Virginia did not use a psychoanalytic or a medical model. Growth was her model. Witnessing irrepressible growth from within the potency inherent in the living being brought Virginia to observe that what was often labeled pathology was simply growth gone crooked, rooted in the organic need for completion common to all living organisms. Not interested in creating another assortm...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Praise
• Half title
• Full title
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Foreword by Jean Houston
• Preface
• 1. Foundation: Life Equals Growth
• 2. Changing Consciousness
• 3. Making Connections: Third Energy
• 4. Full and Centered Selves
• 5. Personhood: Essential Core
• 6. The Patterns That Disconnect: Incongruence
• 7. The Patterns That Disconnect: Intrapersonal Incongruence
• 8. The Patterns That Disconnect: Implications in the Body
• 9. Incongruence and Cancer
• 10. Being Whole—Being Real
• 11. The Pattern That Connects: Congruence
• 12. The Pattern That Connects: Relationship
• 13. Gun Power and Seed Power
• 14. Cultivating, Blossoming, Bridging
• Appreciations
• Appendix A
• Appendix B
• References
• Index