For Tamara

Sarah Lang

• Publisher: House of Anansi Press
• Year: 2014
• ISBN:
  9781770899001
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Canadian Poetry
• Index: Literature

Arranged as a mother's survival guide to her daughter, For Tamara is a touching and inventive long poem about surviving and thriving from the author of The Work of Days.

It seems simple: a long letter, from a mother to a daughter, relaying the information needed to survive on this earth. But as Sarah Lang's second book, For Tamara, unfolds, it becomes a roughly-hewn, genre-bending, post-apocalyptic survival guide. The world with which we are familiar has ended, and in its wake are the countless dead and survivors who are little more than scavengers. The poem's unforgettable narrator, mother to a young girl named Tamara, has decided to leave her daughter with a document that will not only express her love for her, but that will also teach her how to live. The result is a hauntingly complex artifact and monologue, heartbreakingly consistent yet wildly unexpected, a story of survival and hope that, through the force of its profound form, brings its ideas, insights, and characters blindingly to life. Against this bleak setting, we fear for Tamara's future as we ponder our own. What results is a work of unflinching tenacity and tenderness. This is a poem of abiding power.

Basil is very temperamental. / I’m sorry, I have no idea how to make a tv. / Find a library, sweetheart, please. / Intact.

If all resources fail: bleach. / Learn to can / fruit, vegetables.

Flamingos, / to read, / that we love you. / Rhinoceroses. / Poplar trees have sunscreen (spf15) on the south side.

The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. / The longest day of the year is June 21 / shortest December 21.

Our city was so glorious, but not so much as this sky.

You need songs. You can make your own. / I hope there are books. / I hope you find this one.

Learn to hunt. / Your Mum and Dad have been vegetarians, but never for the sake of your life. / Arrows and spearheads.

Then there are the stories I can’t tell you. / Lying under a piano listening to Satie. / Yr Father lay under the piano / as a child in the park.

My Darling Dearest, first-aid kits are frivolous until you need one. / I’m sorry. / Eat strawberries (I dreamt about them last night.)

She’s my kid: she’s going to start her life by looting a Safeway.

Tamara, I trust you will be strong enough. / Eat eggplant, it’s good for you.

If I could be alive for you, I would. The thing that bothers me most is that I’ve let you down. A button on a string is not an ideal gift.

Don’t get angry with ppl for being human. / Just help; / and I know you can. / No use in screaming.

I can’t draw you the map you deserve. / Remember pineapples though, ok?

Sweetheart, your Mum took pretty great photos. Find them.

I can’t write down all our jokes, but remember to make them.

I think I’d like to name you Tamara.

Maybe Mum isn’t going to make it, ok? Baby, I want to tell you what I hear now. Cars: a major road. A man talking. 3 sparrows. A door closing. The leaves. A screen door. A dog. A car going over a pothole. A bird’s wings. A car shifting. The wings of a bird against leaves. A freezer fan. A bird protecting a nest. A horn. Mumbled conversation.

We made those choices for you. / We are sorry if they were the wrong ones.

You need to tap into everyone’s skill set and push them further. / You can do this as you are of my blood.

I am unlikely to survive / much longer than you.

But it is like waking up in strange house / and all I want to do is go home. / Which means before all this. / Which means you.

Your Mum is writing with a broken thumb. / This: for you.

When you plant seeds, leave about a two-finger space between them.

Remember your Dad. Frankly he is probably a mad-man that dropped out of the sky in a blue box. If you ever get that joke, I’m proud of you.

T.: Yes, this responsibility sucks. / Feed yourself. / Take care of them (I know you can).

Humans are gross and annoying. / Take care of them anyway. / Learn about all types of birds and bugs.

I was just trying to draw you a compass for the world, / for right now. / But I should just make you one. / Iron (Fe) filings and all.

We’re setting up a hospital here. We can’t take everyone because we just can’t. Our choices aren’t going to get any easier.

I can tell you about all these plants that grow well, look pretty: totally useless.

If you think I don’t spend a few seconds every day hoping to wake up / I’m far too good at lying.

I never wanted to ask you to do this, but I’m trying to keep us all alive, ok? And yes, I get my own room. / Just pretend we are on a ship and the last thing you want is a sleep-deprived captain. / Otherwise, yeah, we’re packed in pretty tight.

We imagined creatures that swam through space: they didn’t need a ship. (Your Mum is writing you a fairy-tale, she’s sorry she’s so busy.)

In a tornado: hide under the stairs in the basement. / Your Dad loved you and me so much; he is sorry he can’t be here.

I know this isn’t by the book. / But Darling, we’ve run out of those. / Trust your Mother. / This works. / I’m teaching you to make painkillers.

Get Tylenol ones. That means otc Tylenol with codeine.

Ideally get two Pyrex bowls, one that fits in the other. Otherwise, do your best. Just remember that normal glass will explode from any change in temperature.

Crush ~10 Tylenol 1 pills.

Use heated but not boiling water to dissolve the
powder.

When it is visibly dissolved, place that bowl into the larger one, with ice if you have it. Regardless, cool it.

In about 20 minutes the Tylenol will settle to the bottom. If you’re going to be all fancy you can use a coffee filter (or anything else you can think of); but
in general, just pour off the liquid.

Remember how many pills you crushed and
the LD50.

Fevers run in your maternal line. You’re probably fine up to 104ºF/40ºC. Other ppl, 102. / Yes, you will hallucinate, but you’ll live.

Love ppl for their for faults, aka humanity. / All their quirks. / Boil water for 3 hours to be safe. Seriously, T., if you sleep when I sleep everyone wins.

Tamara, I have this vision of you running towards me in the kitchen and it is . . . extraordinary.

But it is the end of the world and Mum is going to do whatever she wants. She’s going to use that excuse alot.

I’m sorry I can’t play more, but one day you’ll be doing my job. / Wash your hands. / That is the idea.

Those tomato seeds will be food, save them. Save all seeds.

Don’t worry, it didn’t hurt. Now remember that when I’m the one suturing your arm. / I’m sorry I’m not there anymore. / But at least when doing medical stuff, put up your hair, ok?

Your Mum wishes you could have your own bedroom, but she promised to take care of these ppl.

You run at me so happy with this red hair / I’ve told you to cut. / That is my last memory.

I reme...

Table of contents

• Openers
• For Tamara
• About the Author
• About the Publisher