How the Hell Did This Happen?

The Election of 2016

P. J. O'Rourke

• Publisher: Atlantic Monthly Press
• Year: 2017
• ISBN:
  9780802189387
• Topic: Politics & International Relations
• Subtopic: Political Campaigns & Elections
• Index: Politics & International Relations

The iconic humorist offers his take on the stranger-than-fiction ( and stranger-than-fact) 2016 presidential election and its equally unbelievable aftermath. The 2016 election cycle was so absurd that celebrated political satirist, journalist, and die-hard Republican P. J. O'Rourke endorsed Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. As P. J. put it, "America is experiencing the most severe outbreak of mass psychosis since the Salem witch trials of 1692. So why not put Hillary on the dunking stool?" In How the Hell Did This Happen?, P. J. brings his critical eye and inimitable voice to some seriously risky business. Starting in June 2015, he asks, "Who are these jacklegs, high-binders, wire-pullers, mountebanks, swellheads, buncombe spigots, four-flushers and animated spittoons offering themselves as worthy of America's highest office?" and surveys the full cast of presidential candidates including everyone you've already forgotten and everyone you wish you could forget. P. J. offers a brief history of how our insane process for picking who will run for president evolved, from the very first nominating convention (thanks, Anti-Masonic Party) through the reforms of the Progressive era (because there's nothing that can't be worsened by reform) to the present. He takes us through the debates and key primaries and analyzes everything from the campaign platforms (or lack thereof) to presidential style ("Trump's appearance—indeed, Trump's existence—is a little guy's idea of living large. A private plane! A swell joint in Florida! Gold-plated toilet handles!"). And he rises from the depths of despair to come up with a better way to choose a president. Following his come-to-Satan moment with Hillary and the Beginning of End Times in November, P. J. reckons with a new age: "America is experiencing a change in the nature of leadership. We're getting rid of our leaders. And we're starting at the top." "Where are we going? Where have we been? P. J. O'Rourke casts his gimlet gaze on the circus of clowns-people foisted on us by the 2016 election—and demands to know How the Hell Did This Happen? " — Vanity Fair

Table of contents

• Cover
• Praise for How the Hell Did This Happen?
• Also by P. J. O’Rourke
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Epigraph
• Contents
• Author’s Note
• Preamble
• Chapter One: The Campaign Begins
• Chapter Two: The Abominable Showman
• Chapter Three: The Horror! The Horror!
• Chapter Four: A Huck So Unlike Finn
• Chapter Five: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
• Chapter Six: So Much for That
• Chapter Seven: The Last Damn Republican Presidential Candidate Debate I’ll Ever Watch
• Chapter Eight: Say It Ain’t So, Joe
• Chapter Nine: A Better Way to Choose a President, Part I
• Chapter Ten: The Walking Dead
• Chapter Eleven: Time to Pull the Plug on Ben Carson’s Campaign
• Chapter Twelve: In Memoriam
• Chapter Thirteen: Our Higgledy-Piggledy Primary System and How It Higgles Our Pigs
• Chapter Fourteen: A Halfhearted Case for Marco Rubio
• Chapter Fifteen: The Case Against Marco Rubio
• Chapter Sixteen: Cruz Control
• Chapter Seventeen: Fashion Notes
• Chapter Eighteen: What They Stand for, and Can We Stand It? Part I
• Chapter Nineteen: What They Stand for, and Can We Stand It? Part II
• Chapter Twenty: Paying for What We Can’t Stand
• Chapter Twenty-One: Another Attempt at Paying for What We Can’t Stand
• Chapter Twenty-Two: What They Stand for, and Can We Stand It? Part III
• Chapter Twenty-Three: Letter to Myself in 1968
• Chapter Twenty-Four: A Better Way to Choose a President, Part II
• Chapter Twenty-Five: The Last Damn National Political Convention I’ll Ever Watch
• Chapter Twenty-Six: The Democratic National Political Convention
• Chapter Twenty-Seven: I Endorse Hillary
• Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Nowhere Leadership Is Headed To
• Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Campaign Trail of Sneers
• Chapter Thirty: The Revolt Against the Elites
• Epilogue
• Glossary
• Acknowledgments
• Back Cover