Relational Mission

A way of life

Mike Betts, Phil Whittall

• Publisher: Relational Mission
• Year: 2016
• ISBN:
  9780995477810
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Ministry

WHAT WOULD THE CHURCH BE LIKE IF...

• Everyone committed to pray together, and everyone committed to share the gospel together?
• It was marked by deep, genuine and lasting friendships, and was a place marked by love for a broken world?
• It equipped the next generation and gave itself to starting more churches, just like this one?
• It didn't stand apart from others, but worked in partnership with other churches for the sake of the mission?
• It made a diligent ongoing attempt to build on New Testament values, combining word and Spirit, relationship and mission?

Mike Betts is convinced that this should not just be a dream, but instead the reality for every local church. By forging relationship and mission together, familiar ideas find new power and fresh hope for the future of the church.

Putting these things together, though, is not a course or a programme, but instead values that embed themselves deep in your soul.

1
A real family

You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

2 Corinthians 2:2-3

The elders of the church in Ephesus stood on the beach at Miletus with the apostle Paul saying goodbye. After several years of turbulent but powerful ministry they had seen the gospel spread throughout their whole region. Now they had to consider their future without his apostolic input.

No longer would they have access to his public teaching in the Hall of Tyrannus. No longer would he visit their homes training and instructing them in how to shepherd the flock. No longer would they see his extraordinary gifting in the supernatural.

Yet what struck them most was the overwhelming sense of loss that Paul would no longer be part of their lives. They clearly loved being with him.

Being sorrowful most of all because of the word he had spoken, that they would not see his face again.

Acts 20:38

Their reaction shows this was no visit from ‘headquarters’ or an appointed representative; through the cut and thrust of church planting and mission they had shared life together and forged a deep connection.

The leaders of the first churches exhibited two simple, but effective, ingredients: deep long-term relationships and a shared commitment to mission.

Relationships in mission are the embodiment of doctrinal principles; it was how they put their beliefs into action. It is the beauty of blending these two ingredients together that produces potent fruitfulness. Either one on its own will be ineffective.

If all we focus our energies on is building and sustaining deep and meaningful relationships, then over time we will turn inwards. Without the focus on mission, our relationships will be barren and not fruitful. We are made to reproduce!

On the other side of the coin, if we focus our energies on mission, but never build deep friendships, we could easily become too task focused or driven. Jesus called His disciples to Him because He wanted these men to be with Him. He then began to shape them with shared values and purpose. Jesus said, “I have called you friends;” He did not say, “I have called you colleagues.”

The church is not just any enterprise or business, it is the family business. We are members of a kingdom and have a mission only because we have been adopted into a family. We serve a Father and not a chief executive.

Mission will be only be fruitful in a biblical sense when it is connected to a healthy relational root system. Such a plant will draw nourishment through the roots and produce fruit which is sweet to taste and much sought after.

Increase fruitfulness not productivity

One of the things that can draw us away from genuine relationships in mission is the pressure of feeling that we have to be productive. Getting busy people together without a strategic agenda can be considered non-productive. It can feel like we are wasting precious time and replacing it with what might seem like ‘small talk’. Yet such ‘small talk’ can be the relational cement that holds the ‘weighty stones’ of fruitful mission together.

Attention to environment and atmosphere in our interactions with others is important. Whilst we might have to have some meetings in an office environment, it was on the beach around a camp fire cooking a fish breakfast, and not in a board room, that Jesus spoke words of preparation to Peter.

I have purchased a small rowing boat with a little outboard motor which often becomes my office. I can meander up the river with anyone I am meeting with and still get all the stuff done that needs doing. If you are in the middle of an urban jungle you might say “This is impossible.” I would say: go find beauty even in places where it might be rather ugly and surrounded only by concrete. Enjoy the journey: it is actually more fruitful in creativity.

The pressure of productivity can cause us to miss the fruitfulness of godly mission. If Jesus had been appraised for His leadership skills in Gethsemane the productivity would have looked poor: His disciples had all run off, one had betrayed Him and another was about to deny knowing Him. In leadership terms, at this point, these relationships were not producing the goods. In the end, though, history was changed by these same men.

Not only must we escape from the demands to be ever more productive, we must also escape the tyranny of thinking it must happen now, in my time. A one-generational destiny is no destiny at all. Productivity is more concerned with how well you do in your life and what there is to show for it; fruitfulness is all about the legacy you leave and the springboard you have put in place for the next generation. A flower is more productive after it dies, as the seed it has stored up through a lifetime of enjoying a fruitful life bursts out.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

John 20:24

‘Truly, truly’ indicates emphasis on it being the right perspective. It is essential to measure mission by fruit and not simply productivity. Companies often make bad long-term decisions when driven by the next payout to shareholders. Politicians look to the next election; statesmen look to the next generation.

If God had wanted productivity alone He would have blessed and congratulated the architects of the Tower of Babel! If churches are driven by the numbers we hope will attend the next Sunday service we are in trouble. Asking “How many people were present this week compared to last?” is a productivity question and not a fruitfulness question. To build a mature, large expression of New Testament church requires a longer term perspective than simply “Are we up on last week?” The journey will include times of plateau, opposition, pain and sorrow. These experiences will build maturity and fruitfulness if handled correctly.

Wherever in the world we plant churches and advance the kingdom of God, relationships and mission must be the flavour we create. Both relationships and fruitful mission take time, but they’re secure investments and it’s the sort of treasure Jesus looks for in His church.

The most powerful experiences of my Christian life have taken place through relationships: working together with brothers and sisters on a great project for the Lord, not knowing how it would work out but knowing God was with us; taking risks together, loving together, grieving together, trusting together, praying together, and learning together. In all this I observed the godliness of those further on in their walk with the Lord and aspired to be like them.

Why I need relationships

Recently I visited a church to host and speak at their church weekend and I took a team of ten people with me. One of the comments made most in feedback from the church was how evident it was that we had relationship as a team. Interestingly, I had not seen two of the team much in recent years but it felt so natural to be back together serving the Lord and His people.

Being able to bring in another’s contribution and gifts to bless the church, making room for one another, encouraging one another, laughing with one another and having a joke at one another’s expense; all these things made an impact on those who watched. How we worked and modelled something went way beyond my words from the platform.

My dear friend Goff Hope refers to the ‘smell of the New Testament’ meaning the culture and atmosphere of ‘dear friends’ together on a mission. It is not a culture where people are enlisted for their usefulness but rather a family atmosphere where everyone counts and has a role. We value people for who they are as well as for what they have been gifted to do.

Whenever in history we see God at work, He begins to work through a person or a group of people rather than an idea. He gathers people together around a vision and purpose, but it is the relationships that form the foundation for what God then does.

Many times in church history when the original founders have passed away, their idea then gets enshrined in a structural package. Often this is because people long to keep the dynamic going but we must realise that each new generation needs space for God to use them in their day; enshrining a structure or organisation when the founder is no longer there can produce an imprisoning effect on God’s people.

Paul seemed to be able to combine purposeful and ongoing mission with deep relationships.

I hope to see you in passing as I go to Spain, and to be helped on my journey there by you, once I have enjoyed your company for a while.

Romans 15:24

Along with getting the job done, there was affection as well. He wanted the unique encouragement and strength that comes from being in the company of brothers and sisters that he loved and who loved him.

Paul, though, was not a man without a plan; he knew his goal and vision but he was determined to enjoy the journey with others. This culture of building relationally while on mission pervaded Paul and his team. It bred an atmosphere of affection, mutual support, love, honesty, vulnerability, deep emotional ties and genuine dependence on each other as well as the joy of being together.

Therefore we are comforted. And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all.

2 Corinthians 7:13

In the early days of our current church, we reached out for relationships with other churches on a similar journey. As a result, I made friends that I came to know and love. Goff Hope, Maurice Nightingale and I have worked together for more than 25 years now. Our mission has been to help plant churches and equip others in their journey to build New Testament foundations in church life.

During that time we have become dear friends and can see the providential hand of God bringing us together. We have shared our lives together, are accountable to each other and support each other. We are still on the journey together: still planting churches, reaching nations and seeking to prepare and release the next generation. We want to help them run further, faster and see more than we ever have.

We should think about how to foster and handle everything through the lens of ‘family’. This even extends to issues of discipline and correction of sin. Paul was not a man who had just happened upon some exceptional friendships; they came at a cost. He had, on many occasions, made himself vulnerable and as a result he had suffered heartbreak and disappointment. For example:

Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds… At my first defence no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them!

2 Timothy 4:14, 16

These verses illustrate that Paul was not always blessed by those around him, yet Paul did not become cynical or sceptical about close relationships.

All too often when a Christian has been hurt by others they can reset relational boundaries, by withdrawing into themself and not letting anyone get too close again. This is not only not good for them but it is likely to restrict their missional capabilities. We are frail creatures and the flesh can make us prone to being hurt by the actions of others, just as our actions can hurt other people.

Recently my wife and I were discussing the situation where someone had stepped out of ministry due to sin and my wife said to me “They have let the Lord down.” She paused, looked at me again and said “They have let Dad down.” It is a f...

Table of contents

• Introduction
• 1       A real family
• 2       Raising sons and daughters
• 3       Everyone a witness
• 4       The prayers of many
• 5       A church for a broken world
• 6       Starting new families
• 7       We have a compass but no map