Chapter Four
Your Family Life:
Your Spouse, Children, and Relatives
- Husband and wifeâhusbands and wives who are legally married
- Your childrenâbiological, adopted, and spiritual
- Your parentsâyour father and mother and spiritual parents
- Your relativesâyour siblings, uncles, aunties, nieces, and nephews
Some Blatant Truths
The word family can be complex. But I will simplify it for you. A single family is made up of a husband and wife with their children. It is that simpleâno more no less. But there are families in a family, and when this begins to happen, the word relative is introduced. Follow through with this explanation.
My father and mother had seven biological DNA-attested children. My father and mother and their children were a single family of nine people. Now when these children grew up and became adults, they began to get married. The men took wives from other families, and the women were given as wives to other families. Before this time, my siblings and I were all still children to our parents, and we were their immediate single family. However, I have my own family now, and by definition, my father, mother, and my siblings automatically become my relatives.
The word relative in this context means someone who is related to you. There are different classes and types of relativesâuncles and aunties, cousins, nephews, nieces, and in-laws. All these fall in the category of relatives who are all part of a family. Some families are small, and some are big, depending on how many people make up the family.
At this point, I want to declare to you the counsel of God about you and any member of your familyâwhether you are a spouse, parent, sibling, uncle, auntie, niece, nephew, and in-law of any order. It is the will of God and his personal design that they should be successful. So you need to look deeper into your family, and if anyone is not experiencing holistic success in their life, something is wrong or not right. It is the will of God for my family to succeed in every area. Everyone has a role to play in the family. There are rights and responsibilities for everyone in the family.
Family: What is the Mind of God
The initiative of family was brought about by God after he did not want Adam to spend the rest of his life on earth with the other lower animalsâelephants, dogs, cat, sheep, cows, lizards, goats, pigs, snakes, crocodiles, etc. God said it will not be good for this man to be by himself. So family is good. Family is a God idea, and any God idea is a good idea. Anyone who hates family hates Godâs idea and, therefore, hates a good idea. God wants your family to be together and be very successful. So, letâs take a few moments to dig deeper, beginning from the husband and wife who together are the leaders of a household or family.
Husband and Wife
The man and woman of the house set the stage and frequency at which the family vibrates. This is for the case of a single-family unit without relatives. They are the parents in any family unit. They must live together and interact together in love and unity. What God has put together let no one separate. This is not a marriage book; you can read that when I publish it. However, know that it is the mind of God for both husband and wife to live together and be the model for others to follow. The parents of any family have a role to play for the success of any family.
Role of Parents in the Success of the Family
âTrain up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek Godâs wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from itâ (Proverbs 22:6, emphasis mine).
Parents have the primary responsibility to train up their children in the way that they should go. If children grow up and become wild, then the blame is on the parents or the legal guardians. We are to train up our children in the ways of the Lord because his ways are always good. God has never been wrong, and he will never be wrong. He is always right and has the best ways and principles to guide our lives. There are gifts and talents hidden in the life of every child, and it is the responsibility of their parents to bring those gifts and talents out in any way or means that they can, and which glorifies God.
âHear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one [the only God]! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and mind and with all your soul and with all your strength [your entire being]. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be [written] on your heart and mind. You shall teach them diligently to your children [impressing Godâs precepts on their minds and penetrating their hearts with His truths] and shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand (forearm), and they shall be used as bands (frontals, frontlets) on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gatesâ (Deuteronomy 6:4â9, emphasis mine).
From this Bible portion, there are a few other responsibilities that parents have over their children and their success.
- Parents are to know first of all that there is ONLY ONE GOD.
- They must also tell their children that there is ONLY ONE GOD.
- This one God is the God of heaven, the Father of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the Creator of the heavens and the earth.
- This God is the ONLY living and true God of all times.
- Parents must also have the Word of God in their hearts first at all times.
- They should be active practitioners of the Word of God.
- They are responsible to teach their children the Word of God.
- Teach when they are in the house.
- Teach when they are out of the house.
- Teach when they want to go to sleep.
- Teach when they get up from bed.
- Teach when they walk on the way.
- The children should read the Scripture regularly in the house and everywhere that they go.
- The Word of God should saturate every part of the house and the gates.
- The first thing people should see when they come to your house is the Word of God.
The Unique Role of the Wife to the Success of the Family
There is a portion of the Bible that has often been used to describe a virtuous wife (or woman as some translation may have it). And contrary to popular belief, which says the man should provide for the family (which I do believe also), I however have a divine revelation to help you. Proverbs 31:10â31 does not talk about a virtuous wife in a descriptive manner. In fact, that inspiration is more of the job description of a virtuous wife. Wives have a very unique role to play in the success of any family. And this Proverbs portion simply tells us some of those things.
The author starts by asking a question: