Can't Believe I'm Saying This to My Mum

Mark Wheeller Contemporary Duologues

Mark Wheeller

• Publisher: Salamander Street Ltd.
• Year: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781913630614
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Drama
• Index: Literature

A varied collection of 30 contemporary duologues from Mark Wheeller's plays. Compiled at a time when social distancing is a consideration, these duologues all lend themselves to Zoom/Social Distance friendly performances.It includes duologues from: Too Much Punch For JudyHard To SwallowMissing Dan NolanI Love You, Mum - I Promise I Won't DieGame Over... and many more of Mark's plays... and musicals. It also includes a previously unpublished self-contained short Sibling Saviours.All these duologues are suitable for young people to use for classroom or audition use. Despite many being ostensibly for adult performers they are all tried and tested for young people to use with amazing results.There has never before been a collection of exclusively Mark Wheeller duologues.

Legal Weapon (1996)

ANDY. JAZZ. Serious.

Legal Weapon is my part verbatim play telling the true story of ‘Andy’s’ car accident, framed within a fictional love triangle. Andy’s words (relating to the various road traffic incidents and the events in prison) are verbatim. The opening narration is delivered by the performers who go on to multi-role as Jazz (J) & Andy (A). This narration is delivered as a direct address. You should meet the eyes of the audience (not just one person). Do not fix your eyes above their heads. It needs to be ‘direct’. The two characters start this scene with a different goal. Andy has to tell Jazz that he has killed her best friend. Jazz has to tell Andy that she has had an affair (with Matt, a character who will interrupt this scene shortly after this extract finishes) and that she is calling off their relationship. Neither is aware of the other’s intention but that proves central to the impetus of your approach to each of their performances. Andy communicates his news first, which pressures Jazz to keep quiet about hers, but it will still be there in her mind as her intention, knowing she has promised Matt that it will happen and that he might arrive soon. These different intentions should create an electricity in the scene and affect the way in which the two characters are played and relate to one another. This is a scene I adored watching students perform when I was a teacher. Likewise, when Ape Theatre (professional) Company performed it… it was always a potent scene!

The ability to snap from being a narrator to being a character is a challenge. The scene must change suddenly and come alive after the introductory rhyming lines.

***

J: Both Andy and Jazz have facts to reveal before the end…

A: He to explain he killed her best friend…

J: She to tell him that their bubble’s now burst…

BOTH: What words will they summon, and who…

A: Andy…

BOTH: … or…

J: … Jazz…

BOTH: … will dare to tell first?

(They spring into action becoming ‘ANDY and JAZZ’. ANDY enters, carrying sports bag in one hand, He arrives in JAZZ’s room where a tape plays quietly throughout scene, starting here.)

ANDY: Am I glad to see you? (Goes to hug her.)

JAZZ: (Holding him at arm’s length and looking at his cut face.) You’re cut?

ANDY: I know.

JAZZ: Been in a fight?

ANDY: Not yet.

JAZZ: What do you mean?

ANDY: (Moving away from her, goes down on his knees to unzip his bag and takes out a bottle of wine.) Got a corkscrew?

JAZZ: I don’t know. (Starts to look half-heartedly, for a corkscrew.) Actually Andy, (Takes the wine and puts it back in ANDY’s bag.) I don’t want to drink and I don’t really think you should either.

ANDY: What?

JAZZ: When you phoned this afternoon, I dropped my plans for tonight.

ANDY: What?

JAZZ: I’ve got a life here Andy!

ANDY: That makes me feel a whole lot better… ’cos me… I’m in trouble, I mean real major trouble.

(JAZZ’s mobile rings. She goes to pick it up.)

JAZZ: (She stops the call.) I’ll get it later…

ANDY: No… take it… don’t mind me… you’ve got your ‘life’ to lead!

JAZZ: I want you to tell me what’s happened… it’s only Kell.

(Pause.)

ANDY: Who?

JAZZ: Kelly… MacFarlane?

ANDY: It ...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Introduction
• Blackout – Operation Pied Piper (1983)
• Graham – World’s Fastest Blind Runner (1984)
• Too Much Punch For Judy (1987)
• Hard to Swallow (1989)
• Hard to Swallow (2)
• Sweet (W)FA/Lethal In The Box (1991)
• Chicken! (1992)
• Chicken! (2)
• Legal Weapon (1996)
• Parents or… Do As I Say (1997)
• The Most Absurd (Promenade) Xmas Musical In The World… Ever! (1997)
• Missing Dan Nolan (2002)
• The Gate Escape (2003)
• Kill Jill (2005)
• Butcher, Butcher Burning Bright (2006)
• Sequinned Suits and Platform Boots (2006)
• Sibling Saviours (2008)
• Granny and the Wolf (2008)
• Driven To Distraction (2009)
• One Million To STOP THE TRAFFIK (2010)
• Silas Marner (2014)
• Silas Marner (2)
• Chequered Flags to Chequered Futures (2014)
• I Love You, Mum – I Promise I Won’t Die (2016)
• Scratching the Surface (2016)
• This Is For You (2017)
• This Is For You (2)
• Can You Hear Me Major Tom? (2019)
• Game Over (2019)