RESTAGED

A Mental Model For Personal And Professional Growth

Conrod S. J. Kelly

• Publisher: Conrod Kelly
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9780991085934
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

Positioned through a metaphor as relatable and clear as the home staging process, RESTAGED leverages a four-part mental model to inspire and coach those seeking success in their personal and professional lives.

Step 1: Do your homework to discover INSIGHTS
Step 2: INVEST in de-cluttering, cleaning, and making the necessaryrepairs in your life
Step 3: Improve your curb appealto generate INTEREST
Step 4: Craft and tell your story in a way that INSPIRES others

RESTAGED contains actionable guidance for application, tools to enlist the support of others, and a plan for personal accountability. An engaging blend of book and workbook, RESTAGED allows readers to uncover and capture insights as well as document a plan to act on those insights.

CHAPTER 1

TO MASTER IT, TEACH IT

As far back as I can remember, I have always enjoyed learning. It wasn’t the act of acquiring knowledge I was drawn to, but the experience of achieving a deep enough level of understanding of a subject matter that I could put it into practice or, even better, teach someone else. Whether intentional or unintentional, I often found myself in “teacher” roles as I grew up, serving as a peer mediator in middle school and a tutor in high school.

One of my most memorable experiences occurred during my time at Florida A&M University’s School of Business and Industry (SBI). In my business school, after the first year, every student become a teacher and remained one until graduation. Our professional development classes were two credit hours every semester but seemed to take up most of our course load. We had student-run “companies” that taught business writing, oratory skills, and business etiquette for different settings and cultures, among a host of other important topics. Even though they were managed by students, they operated like well-oiled Fortune 500 companies. Dr. Sybil Mobley, the Dean of SBI, believed the best way to produce future leaders was to consistently put them in environments that demonstrated their knowledge and skills and had them teach it to others until they achieved what she called, “unconscious competence.” Unconscious competence usually happens once one has had so much practice that the skill becomes second nature.

After my matriculation, I continue to use this approach to deepen my understanding of various subjects by oscillating between student and teacher and surrounding myself with others who are committed to continuous learning. It is a habit I have developed.

In the spirit of “to master it, teach it,” I have intentionally structured this book to have you take on the role of student and teacher so you too can start to develop this habit. Establishing a habit of a growth mindset is oriented around a sequence I call the Five P’s: Purpose, Process, Preparation, Practice, Persistence.

1. After reading each chapter, take a couple of days to reflect on what you read. The benefits of self-reflection are endless. However, we rarely give ourselves quiet time to look within. Reflection enables you to think deeper about an issue in a relaxed state, which may potentially lead you to greater insights. An insight should help you understand the cause and effect within a specific context, such as the relationship between what you say and what you do or the implications of past and future actions. Be sure to write down the insight when it hits you.
2. Make a commitment to act on the insight by identifying one thing you will do differently and then ask someone to hold you accountable. We live in a world where we believe we can do multiple things at once. But, there is an overwhelming body of evidence that supports doing things in sequence rather than parallel will get you more results in a shorter period of time. For example, if I give you three tasks that take three days each to complete, by doing the tasks in sequence you will finish the first in three days, the second in six days, and the last in nine days. If you do one-third of each job on each day, it will take nine days to deliver all three where you would have delivered two tasks already by day six with a sequential approach. Accountability is crucial for the work we are about to do. You will need to identify one or more individuals you trust to be honest with you and, more importantly, with whom you can be completely vulnerable. Having an accountability partner promotes commitment and gives you the confidence you need to improve. They can also help you celebrate the small wins along the way.
3. Start sharing what you’re learning with people in your circle and listen carefully to how they summarize in their own words. This is a great way for you to gauge your depth of understanding. If you are like me, you may have convinced yourself you are a quick study of new concepts or ideas before. I’ve learned the hard way that there is a big difference between being aware and understanding, especially when you have to apply what you think you know or explain it to someone else. Learning something new means being clumsy at it, making mistakes, course-correcting, and trying again. It’s uncomfortable and even when we know the skill is valuable, it can make our work more difficult, causing many to stop trying and revert to old habits. Having someone you can practice teaching it to and having them say it back to you will help you more accurately assess where you are on your journey to unconscious competence.

PRACTICE

If you want to develop good habits, you must embrace the act of practice. You have to be purposeful and persistent. Nothing has or can be achieved without practice. The more you practice, the more things will come to you naturally, and the more they become part of your character. As I mentioned before, it’s important to share your insights, actions, and observations with others. Throughout this book, I have infused Real World, Real Things moments: personal stories and reflections to bring each concept to life.

My first Real World, Real Things moment is the origin of the phrase. My best friend Darrell and I met July 9, 2001. He was two months into his first INROADS internship with Johnson & Johnson (J&J) in their Information Technology department. Earlier that summer, three days before I was supposed to start my internship in marketing at Lucent Technologies, I learned they were scrapping the program. In 1999, as the Internet boom was approaching its apex, Lucent Technologies was the world’s largest telecommunications equipment company. In high school, I’d won our class stock market challenge because of my investment in that company. However, the Internet crash in 2001 changed everything. I was beyond disappointed. The star student that landed a coveted internship was now sitting at home while his friends were at work.

After a few weeks of sulking, my mom told me to humble myself and get a regular job. What most teenagers had seen as a rite of passage (most of my friends in high school had mall jobs for pocket change or to help out at home), I saw as failure. My mother quickly helped me realize my perception was being framed by my ego.

One morning, she asked me to dress up a little and go with her somewhere. She took me to Precision Response Corporation, a call center, and made me fill out an application. I had to complete a typing test which determined if I got an interview. I passed and during the subsequent interview was asked a few straightforward questions. At the end of the interview, I was offered a job. While I waited for my background check and drug test to clear, I received a call from INROADS about the J&J internship.

Darrell and I hit it off immediately. He was my girlfriend’s coffee and lunch buddy, who interned at J&J as well, and she introduced us when I started. One day over the summer, we were watching movies at his house. We started watching The Best Man, a classic in the African American community. Morris Chestnut, one of the main characters, was the Idris Elba of the 90s and early 2000s, sort of like a super hero for young, black males, especially those of a darker complexion. There was a scene where his character plays cards with his friends and says, “We’re in the real world now…real world, real things.” Then, as the camera zooms in he does a head tilt and a slight lick of his lips while the other stare at him in awe. Darrell and I looked at each other and laughed out loud to the point of tears. They sold the scene like it would go down in cinematic history. Darrell and I have since used the phrase “Real World, Real Things” anytime we hear something that should be straightforward and well understood or something that is simple but provocative.

Real World, Real Things Moment:

To Understand, You Must Overlearn

My middle school teacher Mrs. Hoffman introduced me to a type of practice that psychologists refer to as overlearning. Overlearning is practicing a skill beyond the initial achievement of mastery. I remember taking a test that I did all right on–I got a C—which were not all right in my home (for the record, neither were B’s). It took me nearly the whole class period to finish the test and earn a C. Mrs. Hoffman knew I got picked up late from school most days, so she had me come back and retake the test but gave me less time to complete it. This time, I got a B. I was also one of the first kids to get dropped off at school, so she had me come back the next morning and take the test again with even less time. That time, I got an A. I had to keep the C I originally earned, but she demonstrated the point of investing the time upfront to practice even when I think I know the material. The fact that I was given less time and still improved my score demonstrates the mental efficiency of practice.

Because of that experience, I developed a habit of practicing and overlearning things, which made it easier to recall what I was studying and required less time, effort, and energy.

I remember watching an interview with Michael Jordan where he was asked how he plays at such a high level in high-pressure situations. He smirked and stated it was because he had practiced those high-pressure situations since he was a kid. His preparation gave him a competitive advantage over those who hadn’t because they never saw themselves playing that role.

Another example of this approach happened when I was in the fall semester of my last year in graduate school. The years of hard work had to culminate in landing a job prior to graduation. The largest career fair for MBAs is the National Black MBA Conference which averages 10,000+ attendees and over 500 companies. While I was confident in my abilities, academic preparation, and work experience, I knew I’d be going up against students from the other top MBA programs across the globe.

While on internship with J&J and GlaxoSmithKline, I volunteered to be on the diversity recruiting teams. This afforded me firsthand experience of what it was like for students and employers at big conferences. I listened carefully to all the stories about students who showed up to interviews unprepared and what that experience was like for the interviewers.

With several conferences under my belt and a catalog of insights, I went into overlearning mode. I researched books specific to the interview process for MBAs and found the one that changed my life forever–How to Interview Like a Top MBA by Dr. Shel Leanne. To this day, I keep five copies on hand and give them out to people who are interviewing for any role in any industry at any level.

Since I wasn’t the only person with access to the book, having it didn’t give me a competitive advantage. What did was being armed with the knowledge from it and what to expect at the conference. I started by reading the entire book a few times a week until I felt I’d mastered the concepts. Then, I profiled all the companies I was interested in and updated those profiles weekly leading up to the conference. I wrote down questions I would ask the CEO of each company based on the information I was gathering to use in my interviews. Finally, I practiced.

I practiced interviewing in complete silence (the early morning time slot) and at the mall (the mid-day time slots). I practiced five, ten, fifteen, thirty, forty-five, and one-hour and fifteen-minute interviews. I practiced individual and panel interviews. I practiced the conversation they didn’t tell you was an actual interview. Some days, I practiced with breakfast and lunch and other days I practiced with just breakfast: a cereal bar and water. I practiced listening by going to loud establishments with friends and not missing anything in the conversation (preparation for the interview booth separated by curtains). I would even put on my dress shoes and walk around Lake Ella in Tallahassee to make sure my feet wouldn’t hurt at the conference and be a distraction.

So, what happened?

I focused my efforts on eight companies and secured eight interviews prior to arriving at the conference. I interviewed from 7 AM to 6 PM and experienced all the things I prepared for, including skipping lunch. I received offers for second and third round interviews from all eight companies. By the end of the fall semester, I received eight job offers, all over six-figures in total compensation from Merck, Whirlpool, Dow Chemical, Pfizer, GlaxoSmithKline, LifeScan (J&J), Ortho Clinical Diagnostics (J&J), and Ethicon Endo Surgery (J&J). I have since worked at three of these companies and have great relationships with people at all of them.

My favorite experience was the one I knew most people hadn’t prepared for. The final round of the Whirlpool interview consisted of a five-minute presentation on why you were the best candidate for the role. If you went over time, you were eliminated, and you could use any format you wanted. I had read the book Now Discover Your ...

Table of contents

• FOREWORD
• INTRODUCTION: FEEDBACK IS TRULY A GIFT
• CHAPTER 1: TO MASTER IT, TEACH IT
• CHAPTER 2: INCEPTION
• CHAPTER 3: HOME STAGING AS A MENTAL MODEL FOR GROWTH
• CHAPTER 4: INSIGHT
• CHAPTER 5: INVEST
• CHAPTER 6: INVITE
• CHAPTER 7: INSPIRE
• ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
• MY ADVANTAGE
• ABOUT THE AUTHOR
• APPENDIX OF SELECT WRITING FROMCONROD S.J. KELLY ON ADVERSITY