Be Your Own Life Coach

How To Life Coach Yourself Into What You Want

Dionna Hancock-Johnson

• Publisher: Dr. Dionna Hancock International Co
• Year: 2019
• ISBN:
  9780991398850
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Persönliche Entwicklung
• Subtopic: Persönlichkeitsentwicklung

In this fast-paced, but approachable handbook, Dr Dionna Hancock-Johnson shows you how to define your goals and measure your success all the way to your greatest dreams. Each chapter includes self-test questions you can use to measure your progress.

Chapter 1
What Does Life Mean To You?

In order to take any steps toward life coaching yourself, you have to know what life means. That means understanding what your own meaning of life is; it starts with defining the word life. To think of it in a different way, try to finish this sentence (Life means ________ to me, or when I do this I get _____ out of life). If you are not able to fill in the blanks to either of these statements then this chapter is for you. The first step in learning to put the right words in the blanks above begins with understanding the generic definition of the word life as it is currently defined and then defining life as it relates to you. For example, life is currently defined as “the general or universal condition of human existence” (Merriam-Webster, 2012). To understand what life means to you, one must know their existence, and more specifically why they exist.

If you can determine why you are here on this Earth and what your calling is, then you can come to some conclusion as to what life means to you.

When you know what life means to you, it can bring clarity to your world and to others around you. If you don’t know what life means to you, then others around you will not know what life means for you either. Just think of those people you may have come across who seem like they have life all figured out. From the way they dress, to their mannerisms, to their way of speaking, they always appear to know what they want in life and how to go after it.

After this observation, you begin to wonder whether your own ducks are in order and if you are giving off the same appearance to them. Self-consciously you hope to have the same effect on others but you are not sure since you do not know what life means to you. From that moment, those thoughts begin to eat up at your inside until you know for sure. So, in a situation like this what do you do? You start calling everyone you know, asking them if your appearance speaks of confidence, boldness, and assurance, just as you witnessed with that person earlier. Irritated with not getting the answers you feel you deserve, you eventually flat out ask them if you come across to them as if you have life all figured out. When their response is “Yes,” you begin to feel comfortable again with who you are, the decisions you have made in your life and the lessons you think you have learned about life. But when that friend’s response is “No,” you lose it! You continue to second-guess all the decisions you have made that put you in the situation you are in at that moment. To add insult to injury, the confidence you once boasted or that knowledge you once kicked to a family member or friend about having life all figured out, seems very far from the feelings you are experiencing now. So, now you are disappointed with yourself and your life.

The problem you have here is that you have to know what life means to you. Once you know what life means to you, you can begin to breathe life into your purpose. On the other hand, waiting 20 years to do something is only going to verify what you did not know, because you never took the time to learn what life meant to you.

Just think, if you would have had life figured out by now, you would know, and those around you would know it too. In fact they would be the first to testify to that. Friends and family members, who associate themselves with someone who is successful and appears to have it all together in their life, will tell the world.

However, if you are one of those people who appears on the surface to have life all figured out and most of the time seem lost at life’s pace, then those around you would testify to that, too, but in a negative way. At this point, what are they thinking? Exactly, that you are a failure, you are confused, not sure where to go and what direction to walk in. They would just make fun of you instead of lifting you up; they would be damaging your spirits and what little bit of courage you had before, when you thought you had life figured out.

So, my suggestion to you is that you define life and define yourself in the process. Break down what you don’t understand into manageable chunks until you have it figured out. Take baby steps, research words you don’t know and study things you do want to know. My final task for you is to come up with at least one sentence that defines what life means to you and make that sentence applicable to your life.

Lastly, see if you can fill in the blank here:

1)Life means _____ to me! I know this is true because when I apply _____ to my life, it makes me feel ______.

No one else can define what your life means to you more than you can. Applying that definition to your world on a day-to-day basis will only boost your confidence in knowing what life means to you.

Chapter 2
What Does Life Coaching Yourself Mean?

Life coaching yourself means to take control of what is yours. Life offers everyone the same opportunities but not everyone goes after them in the same way or with the same passion. Some waste no time achieving everything, while others waste every day achieving nothing. Life has ups and downs that will knock us off our journey; but to get back up and claim what is yours is achieving more than enough.

When writing this book, I asked one of my younger sisters, aka sissy, “What does life mean to you?” and her response was “Everything”—nothing more and nothing less. Maybe that is enough. I don’t know. But to have that mentality means that you know where you want to go and you know that you need to take measures to get there. But sometimes the heights are too high to climb. So, what now? You lose motivation because you begin to think that what you want is unrealistic.

Life can be so meaningful if you know the direction you want to go in. On the flip side, life can be so painful if you keep walking in the wrong direction. To life coach yourself, you need to know what you want out of life, know where you can go to get it, and know the costs and consequences to achieving it. This is the first step to life coaching yourself into what you want.

Some people let life pass them by because they are content, but what people don’t realize is that life coaching yourself can never stop because the opportunities never cease. To achieve everything and avoid losing it all, you have to keep coaching yourself on how to be successful, as well as how to maintain that success. It is important for you to coach yourself as often as you can to learn as much as you can. The moment you stop coaching yourself, that is the minute others grab what could have been yours.

For example, if you take time to sleep on an idea for, say, a week or two, have you ever wondered how much time you could lose waiting? In one week alone, one could make a fortune selling your idea to another person or company. By two weeks, two more people can make the same fortune each selling your idea to another two companies. Now within that week that you have been pondering your next move and sleeping on your idea, you have made someone you shared your idea with three times richer than you. But, if you begin life coaching yourself today into what your heart desires, you can avoid missing your opportunity to succeed. If you can begin coaching yourself today on making the next best move, then you could find your dream staying with you and financially, in your pocket.

So, my suggestions to you are that first, keep your dream close to your heart, and second, learn how to coach yourself to take control of what life has to offer you now, not tomorrow. Tomorrow’s opportunities are not guaranteed today.

Lastly, ask yourself this question below:

1)What does life coaching yourself mean to you?

Chapter 3
Do You Trust Yourself?

In order to be comfortable with the choices you make in life or the direction you would like to take lead or go in, you have to trust your instincts from within to make sound decisions regarding anything and everything.

As I am sitting on the deck of the Starbucks on the Corner of Ocean Drive in Miami writing this chapter, I notice that people are going in different directions: some are going to my right and some are going to my left, some are not sure where they want to go. It had me thinking several different things. One, when people think they know the direction they want to go in or they are leading, it appears they do not. Two, when people seem to be unclear of the direction they need to go rather than want to go in, they sometimes have to go back in the other direction to start all over again. By default, they will end up back where they started. Regardless if it’s a need or want, people sometimes cannot figure out which direction is perfect for their life. Three, when people appear to be lost, by the look on their face or their body language, they end up having a conniption because they thought they knew themselves well enough to have their directions all figured out.

In an attempt to make my point more clear, let me say this again: When people seem to be unclear of which direction they want to go in life, they sometimes have to go back in the opposite direction to start all over again. In this case they end up at the same place they originally started because they didn’t trust their own judgment from the get go.

In life you have to learn to trust your own instincts. You have to trust yourself to find your way through decisions. That may take bobbing and weaving through different paths until you find the right one for you. Sometimes it may seem so hard or confusing to find that right path for yourself but in order to get past that doubt, you have to trust yourself. You have to trust your inner feelings to allow you to have good in your life. You also have to trust your inner feeling to know when it is clear that something or someone is leading you in a bad situation and when there is a need to avoid negativity that can lead you in the wrong direction.

You have to know that, without direction, anyone can fail, and with direction, many can succeed. I once heard that if you know the direction you are going in, then you could find your way. Sometimes it is going to seem like you don’t know your left from your right when you are faced with a decision, but sometimes you also have to learn how to allow your gut feelings to help you make the right decision. Following your gut can be a huge indicator for what is right and what is wrong. I hear people sometimes say that you need to go with your heart over your mind and go with your mind over your gut.

Sometimes I find it hard to trust my mind over my gut and after several failed experiences of not trusting myself, I learned to trust my gut to steer me in the right direction. I honestly do not believe that is easy to do. For example, you can allow your mind to make a bad decision for you but your gut will never steer you wrong. There have been times when my mind would try to take over my gut feeling while I was driving and trying to find my destination. I remember during one specific time when I was driving, my mind was telling me to go in a specific direction, but my gut was telling me that direction didn’t look right, so I took an alternate route and ended up in the right place two hours later. I initially thought it was hard to trust my mind because you always think the first thing you want to use when you are trying to find a place is your mind, right? Well in this case it wasn’t needed! My point is that when you get in situations like this; you will know when it’s best to use your gut over your mind.

In another example, you can allow your heart to also make a bad judgment for you, but again, your gut will never lead you a stray. In fact your gut and your heart can react from the same feelings when you trust another person with your heart. I remember a time when I trusted my heart with someone else, as a love language or symbol of love. This person was someone I loved dearly and thought I was destined to be with forever. In my heart, I knew he loved me and in my gut I genuinely knew he felt the same way. At that time, my gut and heart were reacting off the same feelings because of love. It wasn’t until later when I learned to trust myself by reevaluating the negative signs that were displayed before me, that my gut feelings began to change. As I grew stronger with my instincts and by trusting myself, my gut began to show me that although this person loved me genuinely, they didn’t treat me the way I deserved to be treated. In this case, my gut won over my mind. Never forget that your mind, heart, and gut can blindside you if you don’t know how to trust yourself first.

I believe people trust themselves to go in a specific direction for three reasons: comfort, familiarity, and to get answers. Without these three things they would be dreading going to an unfamiliar territory, uncomfortable directions and a place with no answers.

So, my suggestion to you is that you have to learn how to trust yourself completely before making decisions, but be smart and don’t miss out on opportunities because of a wrong judgment call. This is very important to remember when you are determining which life path is right for you.

Lastly, honestly ask yourself “Do You Trust Yourself” (the direction I am going in or the life I am leading)?

Attempt to fill in the blanks below:

1)I trust myself to do _____. I know this is true because I never _____ an opportunity when it becomes available to me.

Chapter 4
Know What Your...

Table of contents

• Copyright
• Acknowledgements
• Author’s Inspiration Notes
• Introduction
• Chapter 1 What Does Life Mean To You?
• Chapter 2 What Does Life Coaching Yourself Mean?
• Chapter 3 Do You Trust Yourself?
• Chapter 4 Know What Your Purpose Is In Life
• Chapter 5 Dare To Dream But Don’t Strive For Another’s Dream
• Chapter 6 Think Like A Leader To Become One
• Chapter 7 Understand Failing Is Only The Beginning
• Chapter 8 Check Out Your Competition
• Chapter 9 Utilize Your Resources
• Chapter 10 Understand Others’ Purpose In Your Life
• Chapter 11 Determine Who Is On Your Team
• Chapter 12 You Can’t Make It With Negative Peers
• Chapter 13 Build Positive Energy Around Yourself
• Chapter 14 Build Credibility With Others Along The Way
• Chapter 15 Prepare For Change Before It Comes
• Chapter 16 Let Go Of What You Can’t Change
• Chapter 17 Plan Your Goals
• Chapter 18 Set Real Life Goals
• Chapter 19 Clear The Clutter And Visualize Your Goals
• Chapter 20 Act Today For A Better Tomorrow
• Chapter Activities Worksheet
• Final Thoughts
• References
• About The Author
• About The Photographer, Cover Designer, And Editors
• Current And Future Products From Dr. Dionna Hancock-Johnson