Teaching Empathy

Strategies for Building Emotional Intelligence in Today's Students

Suzanna E. Henshon

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2021
• ISBN:
  9781000503951
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Education
• Subtopic: Education General

As classrooms become more diverse, it is increasingly important that students learn how to empathize with others who may come from very different backgrounds. Teaching Empathy:

Chapter 1

What Is Empathy?

DOI: 10.4324/9781003238621-2

Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty and sadness…. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find those words.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

Where were you on September 11, 2001? This date brings back visions of horror and chaos, trauma and triumph, courage and despair that echoed across the nation. It’s impossible to forget the falling buildings, fleeing people, and relatives searching endlessly for loved ones. These images are seared into our collective memories. Nearly 20 years later, I am still haunted by the fear, destruction, and memories of loved ones who died in this tragedy. Even though I did not lose a friend or relative in 9/11, my heart goes out to those who did. Why do I feel sorrow when I did not suffer immeasurable loss?

By the time we reach adulthood, we have experienced pain, suffering, and loss. We have been rejected, lost a loved one, or suffered a failure we will never forget. These experiences help us feel empathy for other people and what they are experiencing. Because I am part of the stream of humanity, I have experienced despair and pain. So I feel empathy for people impacted by 9/11.

Why is empathy important? Empathy helps us see the world from multiple viewpoints. Empathy helps us imagine the pain, joy, suffering, exhilaration, and love that other people feel, informing our choices and leading us to make connections. Empathy allows us to experience the world at a deeper level.

HISTORY AND DEFINITIONS OF EMPATHY

What is the history of empathy? When did people first look beyond their own perspectives and embrace the viewpoints of their neighbors? Although we cannot pinpoint an exact date, we can look at how the word empathy has evolved over the years. The term dates back to Ancient Greece, where empatheia was defined as “physical affection or passion.” Empatheia derived from pathos, which meant “suffering or passion.”

During the past 100 years, this term has evolved several times. According to Lanzoni (2015),

The English word “empathy” came into being only about a century ago as a translation for the German psychological term Einfühlung, literally meaning “feeling-in.” English-speaking psychologists suggested a handful of other translations for the word, including “animation,” “play,” “aesthetic sympathy,” and “semblance.” But in 1908, two psychologists from Cornell and University of Cambridge suggested “empathy” for Einfühlung, drawing on the Greek “em” for “in” and “pathos” for “feeling,” and it stuck. (para. 4)

Lanzoni (2015) further stated that empathy changed meaning again within the 20th century:

In 1948, the experimental psychologist Rosalind Dymond Cartwright, in collaboration with her sociologist mentor, Leonard Cottrell, conducted some of the first tests measuring interpersonal empathy. In the process, she deliberately rejected empathy’s early meaning of imaginative projection, and instead emphasized interpersonal connection as the core of the concept. (para. 6)

By the mid-20th century, empathy had evolved into its modern definition: the ability to understand another person’s perspective and feelings.

There are several types of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate empathy:

• Cognitive empathy means understanding another person’s perspective or mental state.
• Emotional empathy is the ability to feel another person’s emotions.
• Compassionate empathy is feeling for another person and taking action on his or her behalf.

As educators, we must experience empathy at all three levels, but it’s most critical that we experience compassionate empathy on a daily basis. We must understand what our students are going through and act on their behalf. For the purposes of this book, I will refer to empathy as a term that encompasses these three types of empathy.

Empathy helps us imagine the pain, joy, suffering, exhilaration, and love that other people feel, informing our choices and leading us to make connections.

How should we define empathy today? While reading this book, you will create your own definition of this term. Several existing definitions are particularly interesting to look at as you develop your own definition of empathy:

• Leonard (2019) defined empathy as “a feeling state that connects one human being to another through authentic emotional understanding” (para. 6). Leonard provided further elaboration: “Often, the person who receives empathy feels truly understood, and therefore connected to the person who understands. He or she feels far less alone in his or her predicament. This experience is healing and soothing” (para. 6).
• Lanzoni (2018) defined empathy as “our capacity to grasp and understand the mental and emotional lives of others. It is variably deemed a trained skill, a talent, or an inborn ability and accorded a psychological and moral nature” (p. 3).
• Pink (2006) defined empathy as “feeling with someone else, sensing what it would be like to be that person. Empathy is the stunning act of imaginative derring-do, the ultimate virtual reality experience—climbing into another’s mind to experience the world from that person’s perspective” (p. 159). This definition reflects the historical origins of empathy as well as a 21st-century perspective.

As you read this book, you’ll realize that empathy is constantly evolving and changing, and that we all participate in this dynamic concept. By the time you finish reading, you will have created and revised your own definition of empathy.

THE JOURNEY TO EMPATHY

We cannot walk a literal mile in someone else’s shoes, but we can take figurative steps toward understanding what other people are going through. An ancient metaphor states, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” No matter where we are going, we must take the first step to get there. As we journey toward empathy, we must connect with the people around us at a deeper level.

In Gift From the Sea, Lindbergh (1955) contemplated the common experiences of humanity. She wrote:

Even those whose lives had appeared to be ticking imperturbably under their smiling clock-faces were often trying, like me, to evolve another rhythm with more creative pauses in it, more adjustments to their individual needs, and new and more alive relationships to themselves as well as others. (pp. 10–11)

This quote invites us to look beyond ourselves and to develop a closer relationship with those around us. We must let go of forced smiles and create authentic relationships with family, friends, and others.

The path toward empathy is like the heroic journey delineated by Campbell (1993) in The Hero With a Thousand Faces. In his classic book, Campbell described the archetypal hero who leaves his home-land to begin a significant journey. Away from home, the hero undergoes trials and tribulations in another land. The adventurer seeks worldly treasure and success, but he also brings knowledge back to his world. As educators, we have gone on a heroic journey through our own lives, and we have invaluable wisdom to share with our students. Can we guide our students toward becoming their best selves as they develop empathy? That depends upon if the effort we are willing to put into our teaching.

When students enter our classroom, they are beginning a heroic journey. It’s easy to get so bogged down with planning lessons and grading papers that we forget our true responsibility as educators: to inspire students toward their own life journeys. Not only should we teach factual information, but we must also encourage students to pursue excellence. We can teach knowledge and empathy concurrently if we make a conscious effort to do so.

This conscious effort doesn’t happen automatically. When I first started teaching, I watched students help each other in countless ways, ranging from group projects to peer editing. By the end of the semester, they expressed empathy, kindness, and compassion toward each other. Although I witnessed empathy, I didn’t yet know how to teach it. For years I watched students develop empathy without participating in the process.

Still, not every student had a completely positive experience in my classroom. Most students became part of the community, but others lagged in the background, outliers within the academic landscape. How could I bring everyone into the fold in a positive way?

In 2008, I volunteered with Presidential Classroom, a high school program in Washington, DC, in which students experience academic and leadership opportunities. At the beginning of the week, Jessie, age 18, sat away from the group and was not engaged. While flying into Washington, DC, Jessie had sat next to a man who vomited several times. The airline dry-cleaned Jessie’s suit but could not remove this unpleasant memory. Although I couldn’t do anything about the miserable plane flight, I offered encouragement to Jessie. By the end of the week, Jessie felt comfortable with the other students. I’d shown this student empathy, but had I done enough?

There’s no better example of a teacher connecting with a student than Annie Sullivan and Helen Keller. At 19 months, Helen Keller lost her hearing and sight; she could no longer understand the connection between objects and language. On April 5, 1887, Sullivan held Keller’s hand under a water pump and spelled out “w-a-t-e-r” on her other hand. In The Story of My Life, Keller (1903/1996) wrote about this moment:

I stood still, my whole attention fixed upon the motions of her fingers. Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten—a thrill of returning thought, and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that ‘w-a-t-e-r’ meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awaked my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free! There were barriers still, it is true, but barriers that could in time be swept away. (p. 15)

For the first time in 5 years, Keller understood language. Sullivan’s commitment to empathy allowed her to share this transformative moment with her pupil. Like Annie Sullivan, we can sweep away barriers and build connections with children. But first we must think outside the box. We must go beyond the traditional curriculum and create innovative ways of teaching. We must develop connections with our students, even if they are decades removed from our own childhoods.

How can we do this? One way is to consider how our students best learn. In a personal e-mail to me, a woman who was blind recalled taking a science class in which the professor discussed the anatomy of the brain:

I had a difficult time understanding the intricacies and connections, and I couldn’t visualize the brain. What did it weigh, and how was it shaped? What did it feel like? As I struggled, the instructor removed the brain from the bottle and allowed me to hold it. I touched it, felt it, and savored the details of the magnificent structure. Finally I understood what a brain felt like. (personal communication, April 18, 2017)

Because this woman could not visualize the brain, her professor allowed her to experience the brain directly and to create her own pattern of understanding. She engaged with the organ, feeling the sutures and layout of the brain with her fingertips and developing her own understanding of its structure.

The most effective way to study empathy is by witnessing it. Several years ago my brother Brian met a young woman, Diane, from Ireland on the beach in Naples, FL. Brian and Diane both have Down syndrome, and they were able to connect over shared experiences. Later Brian received a letter from Ireland saying Diane’s mother had died. Brian wrote back, “I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. The people we love stay with us forever. They remain in our hearts.” In just a few words, Brian expressed his emotions in a way few people can. Reading his message, I realized empathy often appears organically. Perhaps it cannot be taught—or can it?

We can sweep away barriers and build connections with children. But first we must think outside the box. We must go beyond the traditional curriculum and create innovative ways of teaching.

To answer this question, I decided to study empathy in a formal way. I reread several books, including Carnegie’s (1981) classic text How to Win Friends and Influence People. Although Carnegie didn’t discuss empathy directly, he provided advice for connecting with people. To connect with another person, we must see the world from his or her point of view. The book is intended to help people in business situations, but Carnegie’s principles also work in the classroom.

Your conversation with a student could be the first and only time you speak with this child. Or it could be the beginning of a wonderful mentorship. Depending upon your attitude, you can positively or negatively impact a student forever.

THE POWER OF A SINGLE MOMENT

When I was in school, I had many positive interactions with teachers. But I had one notable negative encounter. During my first week of high school, I was getting changed in the girls’ locker room for cross-country practice when a teacher looked over and said, “You need to leave. This is the girls’ room.”

I was mortified. I had short hair, and I was lanky and tall. Perhaps that is what led her to think that I did not belong there. But if I couldn’t change in the girls’ room, where could I get dressed?

I forgot this incident until 2013, when I was in training for Safe Zone. The Safe Zone Project sponsors regular trainings to help professors, staff, and students develop a better understanding of the LGBTQ community, as well as gender and sexual identities. During our training session, our guide discussed how some students might feel being kicked out of the bathroom.

Until that moment, I had just been attending a training session to help students. But as we discussed students getting kicked out of restrooms, time collapsed. They were talking about something that had happened to me! Suddenly I felt empathy for students with different gender orientations, particularly for people who had gone through the same humiliating experience that I had.

What did I learn from this experience? Every time teachers interact with students, we make an impact. Teachers make a lasting impact (either positive or negative) depending upon how they converse with students. Think back to the classic Tennyson (1842) poem “Ulysses,” in which the main character comments, “I am a part of all that I have met.” Every time you step into your classroom, you are par...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Table of Contents
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction: Why Empathy?
• Chapter 1: What Is Empathy?
• Chapter 2: How Can You Create an Empathetic Classroom?
• Chapter 3: How Can You Teach Empathy?
• Chapter 4: How Does Emotional Intelligence Relate to Empathy?
• Chapter 5: How Can You Maintain Empathy in Your Classroom?
• Chapter 6: How Can Students Give Back to Society?
• Chapter 7: How Can You Use Technology to Promote Empathy?
• Chapter 8: How Can You Lead a Schoolwide Empathy Initiative?
• Conclusion: What Is Your Future Vision of Empathy?
• References
• About the Author