CHRISSIE HYNDE
Singer, Songwriter, and Musician (Founding Member of the Pretenders)
Born 1951 in Akron, OH
The moment I was born.
CLARE AKUMU
College Student and Activist
Born 1999 in Kampala, Uganda
At the age of thirteen, I was stricken with a serious illness, and one year later, I could no longer walk, run, or even stand. Still to this day, my doctors have not been able to define exactly what happened to my body or even why, but whatever it was, my life was changed forever.
In Uganda, girlsâ education is not prioritized. Just two out of every ten girls graduate from high school. Many things contribute to this statistic: lack of resources, long-standing social norms that set low expectations for girls, high teenage pregnancy rates, and an inherent cultural standard that values boys over girls.
I happened to be one of the few girls in Uganda who attended school, but because of the complications from my illness, I had to stop going to school for a year. It was devastating.
I was in excruciating pain every minute of every day, especially my feet. I was also suffering emotionally. I vividly remember saying to myself, âClare, you are in a terrible state.â I was overwhelmed with fear about how I would live with my new reality.
The illness continued to wreak havoc on me and I lost hearing in my right ear. As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. I cried myself to sleep for months. I wallowed in some self-pity, but mostly, I had a lot of anger toward God. Every time I prayed, I asked just one question, âGod, how could you?â Suicide crossed my mind more than it should have. I slipped into depression and began taking antidepressants, which likely saved my life.
I am the youngest of five children and because I have supportive and helpful parents and siblings, I was able to focus on getting better. After a long, hard year of physical therapy, I was able to learn how to walk again, which meant that I could return to school. I was overjoyed that I could attend school despite the pain that I was still going through. It was not easy, but I had my heart set on being back in the classroom.
Before I got sick, Iâd never been a shy or timid girl, but the new version of me was uncertain. The illness had shattered my self-confidence, and when I returned to school, I quickly learned that I was the topic of negative comments from my classmates. I overheard some of the things they said and their words stayed with me. There was one statement that I will never erase from my mindâI can still hear it. âShe walks like a chicken.â
How could someone say something so insensitive? I had worked so hard to walk again. I felt hurt and angry and disrespected. I struggled and failed to hold back the tears, but something happened as I cried over those insults. Through my tears, something clicked inside of me. The confident girl Iâd always been, before I got sick, came roaring back with a fury. I made up my mind that if I was going to be the subject of their conversations, I would be a worthy subject. I would give them something to talk about.
The âchickenâ mockery was my turning point, my moment, and I have never looked back. Yes, there are times when my disabilities bring great sadness, but my tenacity cannot be shaken. When leadership opportunities came my way, I jumped for them like a wild animal. I ran for class government positions and of course, I won with the majority votes. I graduated high school at the top of my class.
I also became an advocate for the silent majority who have not yet found their courage. I am a peer educator with Girl Up Initiative Uganda, an organization that supports young girls and women to thrive and lead, and that role has given me a space to grow and discover myself. Now I am awake to the truth that thereâs so much potential in me that I can use to impact the lives of many women and girls with disabilities and also those without.
Iâm now in college, pursuing my bachelorâs degree in business administration, and Iâm more confident than ever before. My family and friends are great cheerleaders, supporting me every step of the way. Each and every day, I fall in love with who I am.
SAMANTHA BRENNER
Entrepreneur
Born 1975 in Tulsa, OK
Although I didnât recognize it as a defining moment when it occurred, my âmomentâ happened when I was eleven years old and in middle school in Tulsa, Oklahoma. For whatever reason, I drew attention and criticism from a boy in my class who decided it would be fun to make me the object of his ridicule and bullying. No need to use his real name (it still makes me grimace), so Iâll just call him Tom Foolery (because that makes me smirk). At first, I didnât pay much attention to the name-calling and jeers, and often returned Tomâs petty insults with a few zingers in tit-for-tat fashion. His bullying wasnât the threatening kind; just the menacing kind and eventually escalated from verbal jabs. Really original stuff, like âaccidentallyâ bumping into me, forcing me to crash aggressively against a bank of lockers, or âcoincidentallyâ jutting a foot out as I rounded a corner, sending me (and my books) flying asunder to the floor. This was in the â80s, when teachers and principals would leniently dismiss such behavior with a slap on the wrist or a warning because âboys will be boys.â
But one afternoon, as I sat down in my chair at my word processor to begin a typing test (requiring me to type a certain number of words per minute), I felt a burning sensation on the backs of my thighs. Reacting to my surprise and obvious discomfort, Tom couldnât contain his laughter, and through his snorts squealed, âGet used to itâthatâs where girls belong, glued to a typewriter!â Not wanting to attract the attention of the teacher or disrupt the entire class that was poised with their hands hovering over their keyboards, I attempted to discreetly readjust in my chair. When that proved unsuccessful, I tried to stand up but couldnât, and commotion ensued. Tom had literally glued me to my chairâsuperglued me, to be exact. This time, the infraction earned him more than just a slap on the wrist. The classroom was emptied, and he got suspended before the female teacher who was summoned to help free me from my chair had even arrived with scissors and some kind of solution that I can still smell to this day. Thankfully, I was wearing gym shorts under my plaid uniform skirt (as most of us did back then), so I was slightly less humiliated as the extraction slowly unfolded.
That evening, my mother could see the embarrassment on my face and the insecurity taking hold within me as I considered the words Tom had said to me. Not on her watch. She reminded me that he was just a bully and that his insinuation was utterly absurd and insisted that I never consider myself lesser than a boy or man, or anyone else for that matter. I will always remember that day, not so much as the day Tom Foolery glued me to my chair and essentially told me I was destined to be a secretary simply because I was a girl, but as the day my mother unglued any and all gender stereotypes that might have crept into my subconscious, which could have ultimately limited my possibilities purely on the basis of my sex. It was the day I learned to always stand up for myself and others (even if I literally couldnât).
After all that, as much as I wanted to push Tom into a locker or trip him or glue him to a chair, I didnât. I did, however, accidentally strike a ball a little too high at him during a game of kickball in gym class and it happened to make contact with his nose. My aim was never and has never since been that good, so his nose truly was an unintended (and lucky) target. I did apologize as tears streamed down his face. Typing class was the next period, so I took joy in pointing out that at least he wasnât glued to the floor. Whenever I used to think about him crying on the gymnasium floor, Iâd shrug my shoulders, grant myself leniency for the inadvertent retaliation and quip, âGirls will be girls.â I know itâs not what Michelle Obama meant when she uttered her now-famous motto about negative influences, âWhen they go low, we go high,â but the irony does make me laugh.
MIYA LAO
Student
Born 2007 in Los Angeles, CA
People have always made fun of my height. In fourth grade, it bothered me, but my friends would always take care of me and tell me that I was perfect and I would laugh and joke around with them all the time and just have a blast. Toward the end of fifth grade, I grew tired of three people in particular calling me names. They were always mean to me and I tried to find out the reason why. After I graduated elementary school, I was super excited to become a sixth grader. I decided to completely ignore the name-calling and turned it around to think it was silly. Silly that people think itâs entertaining to make fun of peopleâs size or anything else they can think to pick on. That was my moment, realizing these people didnât know me and didnât care about me. I didnât need to give them any more of my attention, because they werenât my friends.
Iâve always loved to play softball and people say Iâm really good at it. It makes me feel good about myself because they also say that my size makes me ten times better. They say Iâm especially good at running since Iâm so small. Also, my strike zone is small so pitchers couldnât strike me out and I thought that those were also good qualities. If people called me names, I would come back at them. Not in a mean way but I would say something like, âHey! Why are you picking on someone who never did anything to you?!â They would laugh and say, âOh, maybe itâs because itâs easy to pick on the short kids.â Seriously? Thatâs what they thought? That made me think, Oh, because Iâm shorter they can take my stuff and wave it above their heads. Idiots.
Softball helped me make tons of friends outside of school. When my school friends would fight or were mad at me or at each other or have drama with other people whom I had no clue about, I would go to softball practice and hang out with my softball friends. Of course I would always pay attention during practice, but at breaks we would talk, laugh, and have a good time. My softball ...