The Thong Principle

Saying What You Mean and Meaning What You Say

donalee Moulton

• Publisher: Business Expert Press
• Year: 2022
• ISBN:
  9781637422113
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Communication & Public Speaking

The Thong Principle has little to do with beachwear and everything to do with effective communication. It's about ensuring messages are successful for the sender – and the receiver.

The book delves into the elements that comprise successful communications – conciseness, clarity, concreteness, and much more. It also puts those elements into context. Communications that miss the mark confuse and annoy. They fail to deliver their message. They damage our credibility and erode goodwill.

The Thong Principle overflows with real-world examples to help us understand why we fail to get our messages across as intended.

Then it explains how we can anticipate, identify, and correct errors and oversights. This is both at the highest level – including building and maintaining trust – and down in the weeds where even one word makes a difference.

The Thong Principle will draw you in and keep you reading with:

• Examples
• Exercises
• Information that resonates.

It's also funny. Laughter and learning are wonderful partners.

CHAPTER 1

Speak Your Veracity Truth—and Their Vernacular Language

Participants in many of the classes I teach and many of the clients I work with tell me—apologetically—“I write like I speak.” It’s offered up as an explanation as to why their written communication often fails. In fact, the reverse is true.

Listeners and readers are looking to connect with a human being. If you don’t sound like one, they can’t connect with you. If they can’t connect with you, they won’t trust you. And the circle of miscommunication is complete.

We’ve gotten it into our heads and our hearts since elementary school teachers graded our first essay and announced we would have to give a “presentation,” that communicating professionally was somehow different from all the other types of communicating we do: having a heartfelt conversation with our best friend, talking to the grocery store clerk as they scan our items through the checkout, greeting a colleague in the lunchroom after a long weekend. Yet the people we talk with—in writing, in person, via Zoom, over the phone—tell us otherwise.

One particularly irksome culprit that gets in the way of clear communication is elevated language. This is us getting dressed for the Oscars when all that’s really required are comfortable slacks and a clean shirt.

So why do we communicate in a language that isn’t natural to us?

Two Reasons.

First. We often feel like we’re not impressing people with our knowledge, our skills, and our insight when we use everyday language. It’s too ordinary, and we want our subject or ourselves (or both) to stand out. Using language that isn’t plain will indeed make us stand out, but not in the way we intended or the way we want.

Second. We’ve been trained to write and speak like a dictionary wedded to a thesaurus. Once we hit junior high, then high school, then university, we were rewarded for our use of big words, long sentences, and repetitive thoughts. Fair enough. But this is an academic environment where pushing ourselves and our ideas is paramount. When we exit the hallowed halls of academia and enter the real world, the rules change. Our bosses, our customers, our coworkers aren’t looking for us to use words they have to ask Siri to look up or take 40 pages to tell us what could be said in 10. Frankly, it wastes their time, and it’s frustrating.

So what’s wrong if we use fancy words people aren’t familiar with?

Two Things.

Content. When we use words people don’t instantly and naturally understand, we open the door to miscommunication. Now we all think we’re bright (because we are), but the reality is that language is specialized and becoming more so. The language we use when we’re having lunch with a friend or picking out a puppy at the shelter is the language that comes most naturally to us. It’s also the language that is most easily and instantly understood by the person we’re communicating with.

Let me give you a famous example. When entrepreneur P.T. Barnum opened Barnum’s American Museum in New York 180 years ago, he wanted it to become one of the greatest attractions in the country. And he succeeded. Between 1841 and 1865, roughly 38 million customers forked over a quarter to set foot inside the museum. At that time, there were only 32 million people in America.

So volume was critical to Barnum’s success. It didn’t take long for the wily museum owner to realize that moving people through the exhibits quickly was essential for greater profit. However, visitors wanted to linger at the flea circus, gawk at the loom powered by a dog, and admire the glass blowers.

Instead of raising the price of admission to raise more money or have exhibit staff nudge people along, Barnum did what many great marketers have done over the course of history. He fooled his customers by using a language they didn’t understand.

Barnum posted a sign that read, “This Way to the Egress.” Well who wouldn’t want to see a magnificent egress? However, “egress” means “exit.” Barnum wasn’t directing people to another fabulous, outrageous, incredible display, he was literally sending them back outdoors. He knew if the sign read “exit” people would go in another direction. He knew if he used a term they weren’t familiar with, they would willingly usher themselves outdoors. One word and problem solved.

But that is short-term profit for long-term mistrust.

This Way to Comprehension

The reality is this. When we use a language our audience doesn’t understand—deliberately or inadvertently—we run a high risk they won’t get our message. And that’s the whole reason we communicated in the first place. If readers and listeners don’t understand what we’re saying to them, we won’t achieve our purpose; indeed, we may achieve the opposite of what we intended, and it’s likely we’ll have to communicate again. That wastes everyone’s time—and impresses no one.

Well, we could argue that if our readers don’t understand the language we’re using, they should look it up. Indeed, they could. But we know this: The longer it takes for someone to get our message, the more difficult we make it, the more work that is involved, the less likely they are to finish reading or listening, and the more annoyed they’ll become. Our job is to make our communication as simple and straightforward as possible so we can accomplish our purpose.

We also have to be realistic about our own language. We are intelligent, we are educated, we are articulate, yet our day-to-day conversation comes in at a Grade 8 level or lower, which we’ll talk more about in the plain language chapter. Speaking simply and clearly is the most efficient and effective way to get things done, to ensure our message is interpreted as intended, and to build that all-important trust with our audience.

Frankly, specialized and elevated language is not easily understood by most of us. That reality was tragically underscored on January 28, 1986, when the space shuttle Challenger exploded 73 seconds after its launch. All seven crew members were killed. A subsequent review of the disaster included a close examination of a memo issued before the shuttle launch that warned a critical O-ring might not work—with lethal results.

Unfortunately, that warning was not clear to readers. The dire consequences were identified only after a long, wordy, jargon-filled introduction and even then, the warning was not heralded clearly. The tone and the words did not impact urgency or make it immediately clear the launch was in imminent danger.

Here’s some of what was said.

Bench test data indicate that the O-ring resiliency (its capability to follow the metal) is a function of temperature and rate of case expansion. MTI measured the force of the O-ring against Instron patters, which simulated the nominal squeeze on the O-ring and approximated the case expansion distance and rate.

At 100 degrees F., the O-ring maintained contact. At 75 degrees F., the O-ring lost contact for 2.4 seconds. At 50 degrees F., the O-ring did not re-establish contact in ten minutes at which time the test was terminated.

The conclusion is that secondary sealing capability in the SRM field joint cannot be guaranteed.

Nowhere does it read, “Because of potential O-ring failure, the shuttle could be torn apart.” That readers would instantly understand.

Today, NASA has committed to writing in a language easily and instantly understood by the public. This pronouncement follows the Plain Language Act of 2010, which requires all federal agencies to communicate clearly so that the public can understand and use the information.

Here is NASA’s commitment to following that law:

Our Promise to You: Writing You Can Understand

We at NASA are committed to writing all of our new documents in plain language that you can understand. Our goal is to use plain language in any document that:

• Is necessary for obtaining any of our benefits or services

• Provides information about any of our benefits or services

• Explains how to comply with a requirement that we administer or enforce

But what if my audience does understand my highfalutin language?

What is easily understood by everyone is the language of conversation. Now if that conversation is between two cardiologists, the use of “myocardial infarction” makes perfect sense. If the heart specialists are speaking with a patient, however, the preferable term would be “heart attack.” Not only would this mean something to the patient, it would make them feel part of the conversation.

It can be difficult to let go of the belief that straightforward language is less effective—and less impressive. But we all know the sinking feeling when the expert or the office showoff gets up to make a presentation or we walk into our office on a Monday morning to see that some thoughtful soul has left a 40-page report on our desk. There is an immediate and instinctive response. It’s not pleasant.

Our first thought is that this thick tome is going to be dry. It’s going to be dull. It’s going to be repetitive. And it’s going to be written in a language we don’t understand. Who wants that? No one.

Length is linked to writing and speaking that encourages readers and listeners to tune out rather than dive in. In part, that has to do with content. We’re afraid we’re not going to easily understand what is being said. We’ll have to have a dictionary and a thesaurus close at hand.

But it’s also about being part of the communication. Jargon, the myocardial infarction crew, has its place. It says to your audience, “We share a special language.” However, when you use that language—or any language readers don’t readily understand, you send the message that your audience is not part of the inner circle. They don’t belong here.

How does it make you feel to be left out?

We call that communication that excludes. If you want your reader or listener to continue, you need to interest and engage them. You need to make them feel included. You need to speak their language. It’s not about dumbing down. It’s about efficiency and respect.

It’s also about trust. When your audience can’t determine easily what it is you’re trying to say, they begin to question your motives. Did you not care about them or their issue? Do you not really understand what they need? Are you trying to hide behind this fancy language? It is this mistrust that has led to laws compelling organizations, government, and business to communicate in an instantly understandable language. It is this mistrust that has led to the plain language movement, a global call for communications that can be understood.

We think we sound great when we use more difficult and unusual language. We do the opposite. We sound stuffy, pompous, and arrogant. We come across as boring at best, deceitful at worst.

So in summary, when we use a language that is not familiar to our audience, we run the risk that they will not understand what it is we are trying to say to them. We run the risk that we will distance ourselves from readers and listeners. We’ll build distrust and a disconnect.

‘Nuf said.

CHAPTER 2

Come Again?

Say what you have to say—clearly

The problem with readers and listeners is (1) they aren’t as bright as us and (2) they don’t dwell inside our heads. We’re communicating clearly, articulately, and sincerely, brilliantly even, and they’re saying “Duh.” Then they yawn.

To be fair, we may be partly to blame for the confusion, the ambiguity, and the lack of clarity. That’s, in part, because we intuitively understand our own message, and we are usually focused on what we want to say, how we want to say it, and why it is important to us. Audiences, however, are listening to radio station WII-FM, What’s In It For Me.

That sounds selfish. It isn’t. We’re bombarded with incoming and outgoing messages. With respect to e-mail alone, the average office employee receives about 121 e-mails a day. That doesn’t include the 40 they send for work. We’ve adapted to the communication volume—in person, online, via telephone, and otherwise—by becoming adept at quickly and efficiently discarding those messages that are not relevant or easily understandable. Indeed, the decision to keep, read, or trash an e-mail is made in less than three seconds.

We simply don’t have time to review and ponder every message, verbal or written. If you want to impress your audience, you need to give them information that is clear, concise and important—to them.

That starts by shifting ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half-Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Description
• Contents
• Testimonials
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction
• Chapter 1 Speak Your Veracity Truth—and Their Vernacular Language
• Chapter 2 Come Again?
• Chapter 3 Saying What You Mean in as Few Words as Possible Without Going on and on and on Unnecessarily and Including Information That Is Not Relevant and More Stuff
• Chapter 4 Substance Abuse
• Chapter 5 It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It, Idiot
• Chapter 6 Trust Me: This Is Fundamental
• Chapter 7 Plain Language—Who Gives a Crap
• Chapter 8 Revising, Reworking, Revitalizing
• Chapter 9 Proofredding
• Chapter 10 To Give and Receive
• About the Author
• Index
• Backcover