Lead with Love

A Revolutionary Approach to the Pro-Life Conversation by Someone Who Has Overcome Abortion

Tori Shaw

• Publisher: Resource Publications
• Year: 2022
• ISBN:
  9781666707861
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Theology

Lead with Love is designed to share respectful and loving techniques for communicating with someone who has an abortion in their past, ministering to someone considering abortion, as well as discussing the topic of abortion in general. Upon completing this book, the reader will understand the impact for life that is possible if we, the pro-life movement, embrace a Christlike approach in the fight against abortion. If we seek God's help and lead with love, women and families will find healing after abortion, the truth about abortion will be exposed, lives will be saved, and the cycle will be broken.

1

Why Things Must Change

Over the past couple of years, I have become immersed in the pro-life movement, which has been a drastic change for me in many ways. I spent seventeen years desperately trying to avoid anyone who called themselves “pro-life.” I avoided them, not because of their stance for life, but because of the way so many pro-life advocates shared their beliefs and opinions.

You see, I am a post-abortive woman. At sixteen years old, I discovered I was pregnant one day and aborted my child the next. When I left the abortion clinic on June 19, 1999, I went into hiding and stayed there for seventeen years following my abortion. You can read the story in full detail in my book, I Had a Secret for Seventeen Years.

I would have never considered myself “pro-choice” before my abortion but when I found myself in a terrible situation, abortion felt like the easy way out. That was, of course, a common lie that so many women believe. Since my choice in 1999, I have been against abortion because I experienced firsthand the impact that choice often has on a woman and have endured the very real loss of my child continually throughout the years. No one would have known my stance however, because I did everything I could to hide my abortion and keep my opinion to myself.

Shame was the main reason for my silence. Even as a believer in Jesus Christ, who knew I was forgiven, I could not escape the shame. I didn’t feel condemned by the Father; I felt condemned by many believers and those calling themselves “pro-life.”

For years I never talked about my abortion with anyone but if I had wanted to, I probably would have reached out to someone in the “pro-choice” movement first. After all, they didn’t come across as judgmental or unreasonable. The thought of sharing my story with a pro-life person or organization caused a great deal of fear and anxiety within me. I knew God had forgiven me, but I believed anyone with a heart for the preborn would shame me, hate me, and ridicule me.

I decided to share my story for the first time with a friend who was brave enough to openly expose her secret. I felt safe enough to open up to her because I knew she wouldn’t judge me. I knew she would understand. Even after completing a post-abortion Bible study with my friend, I was still too afraid to speak about my abortion or discuss my experience in general for many more years. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone knowing what I had done because it appeared post-abortive women were scorned and abhorred by the pro-life community.

In May of 2016, I finally emerged from hiding after surrendering to the Holy Spirit’s call for me to release this secret and trust Him with it. Things haven’t been the same since, in the best possible way. I live in freedom now. I am whole and full of life and love. I no longer care if others look at me with disdain. I founded Not Forgotten Ministries and have dedicated my life to helping women make a choice they won’t regret and helping others find healing after abortion.

As I have ministered to ladies with an abortion in their past, it has become abundantly clear that the way I felt for seventeen years was not a unique experience. Every single woman I’ve encountered has felt the same shame and fear that I endured. During many of our Bible studies and group sessions, we have discussed the condemning, judgmental attitude portrayed by the pro-life community. The haughty way some pro-life advocates discuss abortion and sneer at post-abortive women, and those considering aborti...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Prologue
• Chapter 1: Why Things Must Change
• Chapter 2: How Did We Get Here?
• Chapter 3: How Do We Change It?
• Chapter 4: It’s All about Choices
• Chapter 5: Understanding the Abortion-Vulnerable Woman
• Chapter 6: Understanding the Post-Abortive Woman
• Chapter 7: How Should We Respond?
• Chapter 8: The Love Tool Kit
• Chapter 9: Time for Change is Now
• Epilogue
• Note from the Author
• Bibliography