Sex, Then and Now

Sexualities and the Bible

William Loader

• Publisher: Cascade Books
• Year: 2022
• ISBN:
  9781666701319
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Theology

How did the biblical authors and the people of their time view sex and sexual issues? This book takes the reader into their world. It offers a careful reading of these ancient texts and how they would have been understood in the context of their time. Did they see sex positively or as something dangerous? How did they view marriage? How do their views of marriage relate to the way most people see marriage today? What were the understandings of human nature that underpinned their discussions of appropriate and inappropriate sexual behavior? How did they view sexual relations between people of the same gender? Listening to biblical writers alongside what others were saying at the time, this book takes these texts seriously. By providing information about sex then it offers the reader a basis for discussing sex now and for approaching issues that have continued to create consternation, confusion, and often conflict in today's world. At the same time, it provides for possibilities of seeing continuity and appreciating the richness and blessing of human sexuality.

1

Meet the Family!

Matters relating to diverse sexualities and gender identity have assumed growing significance in recent years. In some Christian circles they have taken center stage and become the focus of division, as have many other issues from time to time in the church from its very beginning.

LGBTQ is the acronym for people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. People who identify themselves by such descriptors may be attracted to people of the same gender (lesbian or gay) or to people of different genders. This book addresses sexualities among people of the same gender in a very broad sense and, while focusing on ancient texts, does so with an awareness that human experience is diverse and needs to inform what we hear and what we think.

I want to begin with some listening. It is not possible nor appropriate for me to publish a transcript of a family discussion, so I have composed the following as what might be typical experiences of many as a way of introducing the topic. I invite your indulgence and your imagination to listen in.

Helen sat stirring her coffee, dissolving the neat image created by the barista. “That’s how I feel,” she mused out loud. “I’m now confused. It used to be clear, just as June said.” She was referring back to the discussion group she and her friends, Brian and Jill, had just left together.

June had stated in no uncertain terms: “It’s an abomination. The Bible says. It’s sin. It was sin then and it’s sin now.”

Jason, another member of the group, was just as forthright: “Get a life, June. How can it be sin? Some people are straight, and some people are gay. Everyone knows that. How can it be sin to be what you are?”

“Well then, if you’re gay you should not act it out. You should get help. Let God heal you and make you right,” June insisted.

Brian didn’t want to talk about it. Inside he was churning.

Jill echoed Helen’s thoughts of confusion, but for Helen the situation was a bit more real and personal because of her brother, Kevin. And the situation with Kevin was not an issue only for her, but was also troubling her parents.

Her parents, Evelyn and John, like many in their generation, were taken by surprise by Kevin. What seemed just a close relation between Kevin and Geoff as just good buddies became a problem when one day John saw them being very physically affectionate.

Evelyn didn’t think there was a problem. They were both very proud of Kevin and had seen his friendship with Geoff very positively. “They’re always together,” said Evelyn. “I think it’s great. They help each other in their studies. They do things together, play sport together. I think it’s wonderful.” Evelyn was in no doubt.

“He’s a lucky boy,” her husband, John, added. “When I was fourteen, I was quite lonely. It was hard to make friends. And then, of course, there were girls and what did you do?”

“He’s not into that, yet. Give it time. I’m sure he’ll find a girlfriend. There’s no sense in hurrying things.” Evelyn sighed: “He’s not going to put us through the troubles we had with Helen.”

Helen, Kevin’s elder sister, four years older, had kept John and Evelyn on their toes. First child, of course, and a new world of growing up and anxious parents. But she turned out alright, even though she didn’t always keep good company.

John was still not quite sure. Then one Sunday they were sharing morning tea with their pastor after church, while their children were engaged in youth group activities.

“Geoff and Kevin are very close, aren’t they?” the pastor remarked.

“Yes, great friends,” said Evelyn.

And then John added. “They really are very close and sometimes I find it a bit strange. They hug each other for a long time and . . .”—he stopped going further.

The pastor listened with a perceptive ear. “Don’t worry,” he said. “Kids of that age go through phases. It’s part of adolescence. Their emotions are sometimes all over the place.”

“Do you think it’s just an adolescent phase?” Evelyn remarked, when she and John were relaxing for the evening. The pastor had set her thinking. “He’s always played mainly with boys. That’s just the way he is.”

Time passed and little changed. Both Kevin and Geoff were in the youth group. They seemed to spend endless time on their iPhones and iPads, sometimes well into the night. Then John was watching one day when Geoff dropped in and again there was a long hug that seemed very affectionate and loving. This time he reported this to Evelyn. “Do you think everything is okay?” They were clearly being very loving towards each other each time they met. That became the norm. John and Evelyn would notice and then say, “Well, that’s how they are.”

Some months later they were again with the pastor at morning tea after church and he again asked how Kevin was doing. John reported how Kevin and Geoff were physically very affectionate. The pastor listened carefully and then in the gentlest way said: “I think you need to watch what’s happening. Something could be going wrong. This is how kids get into same-gender sexual relations and go down a path that leads to serious wrongdoing. God made men and women to be together. Men getting together with men and women getting together with women—I mean sexually—is an abomination, a perversion of how God made us to be. I would try to encourage Kevin not to spend so much time with Geoff or this could go badly wrong.”

That comment was quite a shock and set John and Evelyn back on their heels. Later John said, “Have we been harboring sin without knowing it?”

“Let’s take it carefully,” responded Evelyn. “He’s a good boy. He’s not evil. He probably doesn’t realize the dangers.”

So they took to persuading Kevin not to go round to Geoff’s place so much and not to spend so much time with him. In a move that seemed quite opposite to how they handled their daughter, they began to encourage Kevin to think about girls. How far would they go? Certainly not putting pornography before him, but at least talking up female attractiveness. Evelyn made a first move by suggesting to Kevin, “Why don’t you ask Carol to go out on a date with you?” Carol was one of the youth group.

They also invited youth group members into their home, especially the young attractive girls. They even succeeded, eventually, in persuading Kevin to pluck up courage and invite Carol to the movies. When he came home, they were still up and were dying to ask how it went and what he felt but were careful to hold back. Kevin went out with Carol a few times.

One night John heard Kevin still awake and talking. Privacy is important so he didn’t want to be nosey, but it happened so often that one day he tried listening at the door. Was he talking to Carol? No. He was talking to Geoff. He was talking to Geoff about Carol. Something else began to happen. Instead of inviting Geoff to come around or going round to his place, Kevin would just go out jogging. Going out jogging was a way he could meet up with Geoff in the park. He knew his parents wouldn’t approve, so always felt slightly guilty because he loved his mum and dad, but he also loved Geoff.

Girlfriends? There was Carol and then Christine and then Andrea. They came and went, but there was always Geoff. John and Evelyn figured out what was happening. They had just driven Kevin and Geoff into secrecy. “What have we done?” mused John one evening. “Where did we go wrong? Did I spend too much time with him when he was a baby when you were having a down?”

“I don’t think we went wrong,” said Evelyn. “This is just the way he is. Remember? Even as a preschooler. It’s like he was born that way. It’s in his genes.”

It worried John so much that he had begun researching. “No, there’s no gay gene,” he said. “I think we have seen it as something that can just go wrong in some people, like having a disability, but it really is a serious condition. I talked to our pastor the other day and he said that the whole thing is about sin, Adam’s sin. That’s when things started going wrong and what we have to do is work against it. It is a perversion of how God made us. The Bible condemns it as an abomination and a perversion, not just the acts that might follow, but also the orientation itself. He suggested we talk to Kevin and see if he would agree to undergo what they call ‘conversion therapy,’ a way of blocking gay feelings and turning them to become heterosexual feelings. Jesus can save him from this state of sin and we should now be acting as God’s agents to restore Kevin back to what is natural.”

“Wow. That’s a lot to digest,” said Evelyn. I don’t think he’s bad or a sinner, but it sure is unnatural and I can see that unless we do something, we will be complicit in encouraging our son down a path to perversion. We love Kevin, so we have to do something.”

“We need to be firm,” added John. “We don’t want to be responsible for letting our son get into this. I sometimes have these horrible dreams of seeing him marching in gay parades or seeing him cowering and condemned before God, destined for hell.”

“It’s a real worry,” reflected Evelyn. “But I find it hard to think it’s all so bad. Think of Uncle Andrew and his friend we call Uncle Rex. They live together. As kids we always found it strange that they slept in the same bed. I think they still do. And then there was Mrs. Perkins. She and Miss Sampson did the same, so someone said. They were always together. Nobody seemed to bother. Perhaps they did and we never knew. They were all good people as far as I know. Uncle Rex used to play the organ at church.”

“Those were times when people didn’t twig to what was happening,” John replied. “And those who were identified as ‘homos’ out in the open—remember: poofters, gays, queers—were widely despised and their acts deemed criminal. To be like that was to choose to be an outcast. You deserved society’s condemnation. With lesbians, like Mrs. Perkins, it wasn’t so bad, because you could imagine that they couldn’t get up to too much, but the others were seriously bad people and many of them preyed on kids, even some brothers and priests in church institutions. All such people stood under God’s judgement.”

“It must have been terrible for them,” Evelyn responded, “because some of them were good people, like Kevin. Imagine being treated like you’re a pervert and pedophile when you’re really just a person with an unnatural orientation. Kevin’s not like that. I’d hate to see him hated and categorized like that. He’s our son. We love him. But perhaps the pastor’s right. Now is the time to act. I have, however, been doing a bit of my own reading and there’s a seminary professor who’s been saying that we’ve got it all wrong about the Bible. It doesn’t condemn gays at all but is only talking about people being excessive or engaging in pedophilia or male prostitution in pagan temples. I suspect that this may be just trying to explain away what seems very plain to me, as our pastor said. I would, however, like to know more. I’d hate us to do anything that might harm or hurt Kevin one way or other. I want to be sure we’re doing the right thing and I suspect we’re not alone. It would be terrible if we got it wrong.”

Helen was aware that her mum and dad were troubled about Kevin, but when she spoke with Kevin, h...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Preface
• Chapter 1: Meet the Family!
• Chapter 2: The Old Testament
• Chapter 3: Jewish Writings Outside the Hebrew Bible
• Chapter 4: The Greco-Roman World
• Chapter 5: The New Testament Outside of Paul’s Writings
• Chapter 6: The Writings of Paul Outside of Romans
• Chapter 7: Paul in Romans
• Chapter 8: Where Do We Go from Here?
• Afterword
• For Further Reading