Conversations at Work

Promoting a Culture of Conversation in the Changing Workplace

Tim Baker, Aubrey Warren

• Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan
• Year: 2016
• ISBN:
  9781137534187
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Human Resource Management
• Index: Business

Organizations are about conversations. For any organization to achieve its goals, people need to interact and those interactions require dialogue and conversation. Yet, thanks to technology, we seem to be having fewer genuine conversations. This book seeks to change this, through "how to skills" and wider cultural change advice.

Chapter 1

Organizations are Conversations

In the grand scheme of things, our lives are a network of conversations about a host of topics with a variety of people in an array of contexts.

One of the authors remembers vividly a situation where two civil engineers working on a complex project were not too civil with each other. They sat in an office cubicle, facing each other. The only thing separating them was a partition. One of the engineers was quite upset with the other over some details that were overlooked in the large-scale project they were working on together. He reacted to this situation by firing off an angry email to his colleague sitting a meter away. His email contained words such as “unprofessional” and “careless.” He did this when he could have simply got out of his chair and had a conversation with his colleague – sharing his concerns about the overlooked details in the construction project and discussing solutions. The other engineer, understandably very angry and defensive about this email, fired off a heated email response with his own accusations and also copied in the project manager! Not a verbal word was uttered. In isolation this seems like a ludicrous situation, but unfortunately it happens too often in organizations.

Managers in all industries the world over are reluctant to sit down with their charges and converse on important matters beyond essential task-specific activities and projects. A typical example of this occurs when a manager is faced with substandard performance by a team member. The manager rationalizes that it would “open a can of worms” if they confronted the team member face-to-face about the issue, so they leave it for the annual or semi-annual performance review. By the time the performance review rolls around, the poor-quality work may have caused other negative consequences, and surely resulted in additional frustration for the manager. Combined with other performance problems, by the time the performance review occurs, there is undoubtedly a long list of poor performance misdemeanors that need confronting. Needless to say, this doesn’t make for a very positive conversation for either the manager or team member. When these misbehaviors are finally broached, sometimes several months later, it raises the understandable question in the mind of the team member: “Why didn’t you talk to me about it when the incident or incidents occurred?” We can all recall examples from our past experience when timely conversations could and should have occurred, but didn’t. Sadly, the scenarios described in this chapter are not uncommon incidents in the workplace and they highlight the conversation deficit that exists in many organizations.

In a culture that avoids dealing with problems when they happen, the positive conversations also get neglected. For instance, how often do managers initiate conversations with their team members about their strengths and innate talents and how they can be better utilized in their current and future roles? Not nearly enough, if at all. Not at all, is what most people tell us. Working relationships suffer because of this or, at the very least, are not enhanced.

Conversations are omnipotent

The health of the working relationship between people, particularly manager and employee, mostly depends on the quality and frequency of their interactions. We are referring specifically here to the conversations they engage in, or don’t engage in. Relationships grow and develop as a consequence of worthy conversations. Relationships also wither and decline as a consequence of poor or infrequent conversations. To illustrate the point, when we meet someone for the first time, our conversations are harmless and shallow. We converse in a “safe” zone, not wanting to reveal too much of ourselves or off end the other person. As we get to know the other person through sharing experiences, trust builds and we are more inclined to reveal more of ourselves, and our conversations become richer and more in-depth. As we feel safer, we risk more in the conversation and the relationship broadens and deepens. Conversely, when we grow apart from someone and become remote and distant, our conversations become less frequent and more superficial, just like when we first met. Conversations are indeed the drivers for better relationships, personally and professionally, and are also barometers of those relationships.

With the aid of technology, organizational and personal conversations occur in an increasingly wider array of forms and contexts. Despite this, and despite our need for deeper and more thoughtful conver sations to cope with the increasing complexity we have to deal with, the kinds of conversations we have in the workplace have not altered much. The vast majority of organizational conversations are still task-specific.

The vast majority of organizational conversations are still task-specific.

Although based on the task-at-hand, conversations via any medium continue to be formal or informal, short or long, direct or indirect. Formal conversations are usually set pieces scheduled for a particular time and place, conducted either in person or through real-time technology. Informal conversations include the countless impromptu and incidental encounters that take place daily in every workplace. These informal conversations can be underestimated and often carry far greater potential for influence than formal communication.

With the evolution of the boundaryless organization, we are engaging in conversations with an increasingly wider range of stakeholders. Again, these multifarious conversations – whether face-to-face or not – are formal or informal, short or long, direct or indirect. And while most of these conversations are also task-specific, each conversation also feeds into individual and collective narratives that go well beyond the specific task. They also shape our opinions and understanding of people, relationships, projects, and issues.

Boundaryless organizational life also means that CEOs who may once have been distant figures to many of their staff, authority figures who occasionally made broad pronouncements, now are expected to engage in regular conversations with the entire organization. These human interactions occur in person, face-to-face, or virtually, increasingly, through social media. In any case, the expectations for more interaction are real and necessary – whether you’re a CEO or local team leader, and whether your conversations are face-to-face or enabled by technology.

AT THE COAL FACE …

Conversing with a virtual team

Megan leads a global team of 60 people. She’s based at a home office in Australia and has to manage across a wide range of cultures, projects, and time zones. For her, a key is maintaining the connection she has with each team member.

“One thing I feel passionately about is that technology enables me to work virtually, but it’s about the people,” she explains. “Whether it’s a traditional bricks and mortar team or a virtual team, my job as a leader is to make sure that people are looked after.”

Megan has also learned that with virtual teams you have to actively create opportunities for conversations. “The biggest difference from working in a traditional face-to-face team structure is that you have to create opportunities for people to come together rather than just expect that they’ll come naturally,” she says. “When you’re working in a virtual team everything you do needs to be more conscious and overt because you need to make sure that you create a structure for the team to come together and be grounded in the same purpose. As a leader, that’s your responsibility.”

In addition to the conversations we have with others, we also engage in constant conversations with ourselves, sometimes consciously and other times subconsciously. While we don’t focus on these conversations in Conversations at Work, they influence -and are influenced by – the many other conversations we are a part of. Internal dialogue profoundly reflects and reshapes the mental models we use in communicating, interpreting, interacting, and making decisions.

In the grand scheme of things, our entire lives are a network of conversations about a host of topics with a variety of people in a range of contexts. And that is something to celebrate and manage every day – one conversation at a time.

The manager as conversationalist

Have you ever considered how much time of your day is devoted to communication of some description? Without a shadow of a doubt, the vast majority of a manager’s work is communicating to others in some shape or form. Gregory Bateson, a well-known anthropologist, goes so far as to suggest that, “everything a leader does is communicative as it sends a message both about the content and the relationship.”¹ And probably the most common and important vehicle for communication is conversation. Some conversations are planned, some spontaneous. Some conversations initiate activity and others are a result of activity. Some are pleasant while some are tough. Some conversations are long, some are short, sharp and to the point. Some conversations are informal, while others are quite formal. Some occur in the office and others in the field, some in the board room and others in the coffee shop. Some are useful and others not so. Some help the situation, while others hinder the situation. Some conversations are simple and others are complex. The combinations and permutations of conversations are endless. And their presence is constant.

Managing the ebb and flow of conversations is a core skill of leadership. Although, strangely, it is not explicitly taught in business schools. It is only within the last few years that leadership conversations have become a topic of conversation in the management literature.

Conversations are the currency of human interaction. Organizational conversations cover a vast array of people. There are conversations with customers, conversations with stakeholders, conversations with suppliers, conversations with managers and employees; millions of conversations. The types of conversations vary too. There are deve lopmental conversations, relationship building conversations, action-orientated conversations, decision-making conversations, friendly conversations, unfriendly conversations, hard conversations, soft conversations, pointless conversations, focused conversa tions. Conversations are omnipotent.

Despite the ubiquitous presence of conversations at work, the research indicates that both executives and more junior leaders are less than proficient at many elements of what might be considered essential engagement and communication skills. This is a finding from thousands of leaders who have been evaluated through DDI’s assessment centers.² The research showed that leaders are not effective at clarifying situations before acting on them, which suggests they are not conversing with key people in the organization. In fact, 90 per cent of leaders rely on their own ideas rather than seeking involvement from their team, and 89 per cent were deficient in listening and responding to interpersonal cues from others. Further, there is a lack of clarity around decision-making and, disturbingly, only 5 per cent of the leaders sampled are effective in building trust in their interactions with team members.

This study is consistent with previous global research from DDI that found 60 per cent of employees felt their manager had damaged their self-esteem at some point. It gets worse. Employees would rather suffer a bad hangover, do housework, or see their credit card bill than face the prospect of sitting through a performance discussion with their boss. One in three respondents indicated that they never or only sometimes consider their manager to be effective, and 37 per cent say they are only sometimes or never motivated to give their best by their leader. On the other hand, these employees surveyed indicated that if they had the opportunity to work for their “best ever” leader, they could be 20 to 60 per cent more productive.³ This is consistent with our observations. Scary stuff indeed!

Developing a conversation culture

According to Dik Veenman and Graham Hart of The Right Conversation, a UK-based consultancy,⁴ organizations that thrive on dialogue typically have two underpinning aspects: a conducive climate and the right skills. “Climate” here refers to the culture and environment of the organization and the removal of barriers to having authentic conversations. This may include an absence of both physical and psychological obstacles. “Skills” refers to the ability to conduct and engage in good conversation. The barrier, in other words, is the manager’s lack of capacity to conduct meaningful conversations. Veenman and Hart argue that without attention to both dimensions – climate and skills – a culture of conversation is unlikely to be sustainable. We cover both of these dimensions throughout the book. Promoting the right conversations at work is the intersection between climate and skills. There are a range of factors we cover within each dimension that either encourage or detract from dialogue in organizations.

James Kouzes and Barry Posner, in their book: Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It, state that “leadership is a relationship.”⁵ We wholeheartedly agree. But it raises the question: “How are these relationships developed?” Leadership is expressed and relationships developed through meaningful dialogue with team members on a range of matters over time. Conversations are the vehicle for building strong, vibrant, professional working relationships. If organizations are conversations, then great conversations are the foundations of flourishing organizations.

But many managers are overworked. They tell us they have no time for conversations. Beyond the standard conversations we all engage in, meaningful conversations are usually not considered a high priority. “Once we get our work done we can have conversations” is the common refrain. But we think having profound conversations at work is the essence of leadership; it is the work of leadership.

And it is not just about priorities. It’s also about culture and mindset. The command and control mindset of management is still alive and well in most organizations we come across. This top-down managem...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• List of Figures and Tables
• Introduction
• 1 Organizations are Conversations
• Part I DEVELOPING A CULTURE FOR CONVERSATIONS
• Part II TYPES OF WORKPLACE CONVERSATIONS
• Part III THE SKILLS OF CONVERSATIONS
• Notes
• Index