Discipleship that Fits

The Five Kinds of Relationships God Uses to Help Us Grow

Bobby Harrington, Alex Absalom

• Publisher: Zondervan
• Year: 2016
• ISBN:
  9780310522645
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Christian Ministry

For far too long, the church has tried to make disciples using a one-size-fits-all approach. Some churches advocate 1-on-1 discipling, others try getting everyone into a small group, while still others training through mission trips or service projects. Yet others focus all their efforts on attracting people to a large group gathering to hear biblical teaching and preaching. But does one size really fit everyone?

Based on careful biblical study and years of experience making disciples in the local church, Bobby Harrington and Alex Absalom have identified five key relationships where discipleship happens in our lives. In each relational context we need to understand how discipleship occurs and we need to set appropriate expectations for each context.

Discipleship That Fits shows you the five key ways discipleship occurs. It looks at how Jesus made disciples and how disciples were formed in the early church. Each of the contexts is necessary at different times and in different ways as a person grows toward maturity in Christ:

• Public Relationships: The church gathering corporately for worship
• Social Relationships: Networks of smaller relationships where we engage in mission and live out our faith in community
• Personal Relationships: Small groups of six to sixteen people where we challenge and encourage one another on a regular basis
• Transparent Relationships: Close relationships of three to four where we share intimate details of our lives for accountability
• The Divine Relationship: Our relationship with Jesus Christ where we grow through the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit

Filled with examples and stories, Alex and Bobby show you how to develop discipleship practices in each relational context by sharing how Jesus did it, how the early church practiced it, and how churches are discipling people today.

Appendix One

“ONE ANOTHER” COMMANDS IN THE NEW TESTAMENT⁷⁴

IN A WONDERFUL short essay, Jeffrey Kranz comments on the “one another” commands in the New Testament. He notes that these two words in English actually translate a single word in the original Greek, hence our made-up word “oneanothering” is entirely biblical! Kranz notes several key themes that emerge from the one hundred New Testament occurances of this word:

Unity: approximately 33 percent

1. Be at peace with one another (Mark 9:50)

2. Don’t grumble about one another (John 6:43)

3. Be of the same mind with one another (Romans 12:16, 15:5)

4. Accept one another (Romans 15:7)

5. Wait for one another before beginning the Lord’s Supper (1 Corinthians 11:33)

6. Don’t bite or devour one another (Galatians 5:15)

7. Don’t provoke or envy one another (Galatians 5:26)

8. Gently, patiently bear with one another (Ephesians 4:2)

9. Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to one another (Ephesians 4:32)

10. Bear with and forgive one another (Colossians 3:13)

11. Strive to do good for one another, and don’t repay wrong for wrong (1 Thessalonians 5:15)

12. Don’t slander one another (James 4:11, 5:9)

13. Do confess sins to one another (James 5:16)

Love: again, approximately 33 percent

1. Love one another (John 13:34, 15:12, 17; Romans 13:8; 1 Thessalonians 3:12, 4:9; 1 Peter 1:22; 1 John 3:11, 4:7, 11; 2 John 5)

2. Humbly serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13)

3. Bear with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2)

4. Greet one another with a kiss of love (1 Peter 5:14)

5. Be devoted to one another in love (Romans 12:10)

Humility: around 15 percent

1. Honor one another above yourself (Romans 12:10)

2. Value one another as more important than yourself (Philippians 2:3)

3. Serve one another humbly in love (Galatians 5:13)

4. Wash one another’s feet (John 13:14)

5. Don’t be proud, but associate with one another regardless of social position (Romans 12:16)

6. Submit to one another, especially in household relationships (Ephesians 5:21)

7. Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5)

The remainder:

1. Do not judge one another, and don’t put a stumbling block in the way of a brother or sister (Romans 14:13)

2. Greet one another with a holy kiss (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12)

3. Husbands and wives shouldn’t deprive one another of sexual relations (1 Corinthians 7:5)

4. Carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)

5. Speak truthfully to one another (Ephesians 4:25)

6. Do not lie to one another (Colossians 3:9)

7. Encourage one another concerning the resurrection (1 Thessalonians 4:18)

8. Encourage and build up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

9. Spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24)

10. Pray for one another for healing (James 5:16)

11. Offer hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9)

Appendix Two

APEST AND APOSTLES TODAY

THE EXISTENCE AND ROLE of the apostolic function in the post–New Testament church has been a matter of some debate down through the centuries! Our understanding is that we do have apostolic leaders who operate in a role similar to that of the original apostles, except none are foundational to the church, nor were they alive with the incarnate Christ. Paul writes about apostolic leaders in Ephesians 4:11–13: “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”

Writing to the church, Paul designates five major functionary roles in the church: apostle, prophet, evangelist, shepherd (“pastor” in the NIV), and teacher, which gives us the acronym APEST. Those with the calling of apostle are shaped to be a blessing to their church through their pioneering, embracing of change, and ability to bring breakthrough in stuck situations.

How do we know that Paul was addressing those beyond the Twelve in this passage? The context of Ephesians points toward that understanding. In his well-known commentary, Markus Barth says that Paul’s description of the church in Ephesians is different from descriptions in any other New Testament book, leading him to describe this section of Ephesians as “the Constitution of the Church.”⁷⁵

Not only does the church receive more prominence in Ephesians, but the church is not as localized—in terms of houses and district churches—as in other letters. Unlike Paul’s usage of “church” in the letters of Galatians, 1 Corinthians, and Philippians, his usage in Ephesians describes the universal church. He never mentions any names or specific issues in Ephesians. As a result, many scholars believe it was a circular letter, intended for the region, not just for the city of Ephesus.

This is important for our discussion, because it means Paul’s description of the five APEST functions in Ephesians was not limited to one time period or region. His letter is about the church in general. So when the goal of the apostle is to build up the body of Christ, this role applies to the universal church.

Furthermore, other passages in the New Testament describe individuals with the apostolic gifting other than the original Twelve. The Greek word for “apostle” (apostolos) is used eighty times in the New Testament. While most of these occurrences refer to the Twelve, three individuals are clearly designated by the word apostle: Barnabas in Acts 14:14, Epaphroditus in Philippians 2:25 (translated “messenger” in the NIV), and Jesus in Hebrews 3:1. These are important passages, for they point to apostles as people sent beyond the local church—people sent to take the gospel to new regions, to expand the kingdom of God beyond the local church.

What does an apostolic leader do in the church today? Alan Hirsch writes about apostolic leadership in The Forgotten Ways, commenting about the nature of this kind of apostle and the mission of God: “I can find no situation where the church has significantly extended the mission of God, let alone where the church has achieved rapid metabolic growth, where apostolic leadership cannot be found in some form or another. In fact, the more significant the mission impact, the easier it is to discern this mode of leadership.”⁷⁶

The church needs this type of “rapid metabolic growth” in America, as we have shown, and apostolic leadership is integral in achieving it. Alan Hirsch and Tim Catchim define the apostolic leader’s primary role: “The apostle is tasked with the overall vigor, as well as extension of Christianity as a whole, primarily through direct mission and church planting. As the name itself suggests, it is the quintessentially missional ministry, as ‘sentness’ (Latin: mission) is written into it (apostello = sent one).”⁷⁷

With regard to the Social Context, we have found it enormously helpful to recognize the different strengths that each of the five APEST functions bring to missional community life and leadership.

Appendix Three

EXAMPLES OF MISSIONAL COMMUNITY PATTERNS

THIS APPENDIX ILLUSTRATES through individual examples how unique mission contexts create different expressions of Up, In, and Out.

1. FAMILIES WITH ELEMENTARY KIDS

Realize that a missional community made up of families with young children will feature a high level of noise, activity, and mess! Rather than trying to be King Canute commanding the tide to reverse direction, allow the mild chaos to be a source of creativity and fun.

Up—Unusual forms of worship will be embraced with enthusiasm, so you can try out all sorts of things that adults by themselves might find beneath their dignity! Movement is important and helpful, and in turn will make those moments of quiet and stillness all the more impacting. Then as you engage with the Bible (probably one with lots of interesting pictures), make sure that the children are able to truly share their insights—yes, some will be a bit silly, but others will be unwittingly profound.

In—Food will need to be of the mass-produced, easy-to-clean-up variety! This doesn’t mean it can’t be healthy, but probably this is not the occasion to fight that particular battle. The meal table provides a great opportunity for adults and children to mingle, especially as the conversation shifts to stories about school, families, and life, and learning from Jesus in those situations. In the best groups, children see the adults demonstrate that wha...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Foreword
• Acknowledgments
• Making Disciple-Making Disciples
• The Public Context
• The Social Context
• The Personal Context
• The Transparent Context
• The Divine Context
• Uniting the Contexts
• Appendix 1: “One Another” Commands In the New Testament
• Appendix 2: APEST and Apostles Today
• Appendix 3: Examples of Missional Community Patterns
• Notes