ACT THREE
SCENE I. A public place.
Enter MERCUTIO, BENVOLIO, Page, and Servants.
BENVOLIO I pray thee, good Mercutio, letās retire.
The day is hot, the Capulets abroad,
And if we meet we shall not scape a brawl;
For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring.
[5]
MERCUTIO Thou art like one of these fellows that, when he enters the confines of a tavern, claps me his sword upon the table, and says
āGod send me no need of thee!ā and by the operation of the second cup draws him on the drawer, when, indeed, there is no need.
[10]
BENVOLIO Am I like such a fellow?
MERCUTIO Come, come, thou art as hot a Jack in thy mood as any in Italy; and as soon moved to be moody, and as soon moody to be moved.
[14]
BENVOLIO And what to?
MERCUTIO Nay, an there were two such, we should have none shortly, for one would kill the other. Thou! why, thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more or a hair less in his beard than thou hast. Thou wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no other reason but because thou hast hazel eyes. What eye but such an eye would spy out such a quarrel? Thy head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat; and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as an egg for quarrelling. Thou hast quarrellād with a man for coughing in the street, because he hath wakened thy dog that hath lain asleep in the sun. Didst thou not fall out with a tailor for wearing his new doublet before Easter? With another for tying his new shoes with old riband?
[29]
And yet thou wilt tutor me from quarrelling!
BENVOLIO An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man should buy the fee simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.
MERCUTIO The fee simple! O simple!
Enter TYBALT and Others.
BENVOLIO By my head, here comes the Capulets.
[35]
MERCUTIO By my heel, I care not.
TYBALT Follow me close, for I will speak to them.
Gentlemen, good den; a word with one of you.
MERCUTIO And but one word with one of us?
Couple it with something; make it a word and a blow.
TYBALT You shall find me apt enough to that, sir, an you will give me occasion.
[41]
MERCUTIO Could you not take some occasion without giving?
TYBALT Mercutio, thou consortest with Romeo.
MERCUTIO Consort! What, dost thou make us minstrels? An thou make minstrels of us, look to hear nothing but discords. Hereās my fiddlestick; hereās that shall make you dance.
[47]
Zounds, consort!
BENVOLIO We talk here in the public haunt of men;
Either withdraw unto some private place,
[50]
Or reason coldly of your grievances,
Or else depart; here all eyes gaze on us.
MERCUTIO Menās eyes were made to look, and let them gaze;
I will not budge for no manās pleasure, I.
Enter ROMEO.
TYBALT Well, peace be with you, sir. Here comes my man.
[55]
MERCUTIO But Iāll be hangād, sir, if he wear your livery.
Marry, go before to field, heāll be your follower;
Your worship in that sense may call him man.
TYBALT Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford
No better term than this: thou art a villain.
[60]
ROMEO Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee
Doth much excuse the appertaining rage
To such a greeting. Villain am I none;
Therefore, farewell; I see thou knowest me not.
TYBALT Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries
[65]
That thou hast done me; therefore turn and draw.
ROMEO I do protest I never injurād thee,
But love thee better than thou canst devise
Till thou shalt know the reason of my love;
And so, good Capulet ā which name I tender
[70]
As dearly as mine own ā be satisfied.
MERCUTIO O calm, dishonourable, vile submission!
Alla stoccata carries it away. [Draws.
Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you walk?
TYBALT What wouldst thou have with me?
[79]
MERCUTIO Good King of Cats, nothing but one of your nine lives; that I mean to make bold withal, and, as you shall use me hereafter, dry- beat the rest of the eight. Will you pluck your sword out of his pilcher by the ears? Make haste, lest mine be about your ears ere it be out.
TYBALT I am for you. [Draws.
ROMEO Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up.
MERCUTIO Come, sir, your passado. [They fight.
ROMEO Draw, Benvolio; beat down their weapons.
Gentlemen, for shame, forbear this outrage!
[85]
Tybalt! Mercutio! the Prince expressly hath
Forbid this bandying in Verona streets.
Hold, Tybalt! Good Mercutio!
[Tybalt under Romeoās arm thrusts Mercutio in, and flies with his friends.
MERCUTIO I am hurt.
A plague a both your houses! I am sped.
Is he gone and hath nothing?
BENVOLIO What, art thou hurt?
[90]
MERCUTIO Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch; marry, ātis enough.
Where is my page? Go, villain, fetch a surgeon.
[Exit Page.
[92]
ROMEO Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.
MERCUTIO No, ātis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door, but ātis enough, ātwill serve. Ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague a both your houses!
[100]
Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a cat, to scratch a man to death! A braggart, a rogue, a villain, that fights by the book of arithmetic! Why the devil came you between us? I was hurt under your arm.
ROMEO I thought all ...