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About This Book
The ebook edition of this best-selling book. Your Best Year Yet is the perfect guide to help you realise goals and overcome last year’s limitations. The proven methods in the book will make this year into the most successful ever.
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PART ONE
THREE HOURS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
INTRODUCTION
GOAL SETTING
Successful businesses set goals and plan ahead. They know that in order to generate the kind of important change and growth theyāre looking for, they must identify their priorities each year and then focus the energies of their people in such a way that these goals are achieved.
The secret of realizing this kind of success for ourselves is the same ā setting goals and planning our lives a year at a time. In this way we too can deal with the bigger issues, address the concerns that really matter to us and make the kind of important changes we really want to make.
You know about goals ā we all do. Weāve set them and even been successful in achieving many of them. By the age of eight or ten we begin to get an idea of what we want in life. A picture begins to form in our minds of a degree, a job, a car, a house, a family ā¦ and as we move through our teenage years our goals become even more clear to us. Soon weāre 25 or 30 or 35 and weāve achieved many of these early goals and trust weāre on the way to the others. And new goals are already forming in our minds.
However, as life goes on, goal-setting becomes a more casual and far less specific process ā wants and desires seem to arrive and plant themselves in our minds almost before we realize it. We donāt often set goals within a one-year time frame, and we rarely make a conscious choice about which of our goals is most important to us. We can also find ourselves in pursuit of goals before weāve really taken time to think them through, determine their real cost or consider whatās really important to us.
Maybe youāre in the habit of coming home exhausted and turning on the television rather than sitting at the table and sharing a meal with a loved one or listening to your favourite music or reading that book youāve been longing to get to ā or planning the next year of your life.
After the initial spurt of growing up and becoming an adult, most of us donāt stop to think about goals in the same serious way we did when we carefully planned our education, our career, our first place away from our parents. We begin to āfollow our nosesā, reacting to circumstances and meeting our immediate needs and the needs of those around us. All this becomes a full-time job and more.
Time goes by and soon we begin to feel our lives are out of control and thereās nothing we can do about it. Things which matter most to us arenāt getting enough attention and life gets frustrating. We feel weāre no longer in charge of our own lives.
In one of my recent ābiblesā, Sogyal Rinpoche says,
If we look into our lives, we will see clearly how many unimportant tasks, so called āresponsibilitiesā accumulate to fill them up. One master compares them to āhousekeeping in a dreamā. We tell ourselves we want to spend time on the important things of life, but there never is any time.
There are things which have to be done and we feel we have no choice about it. And by the time we are finished doing everything that has to be done, weāre too tired to think of doing anything else. Gradually we become cynical about things like New Yearās resolutions and Lifetime Goals. Why bother? The thought that we could actually do something about our deepest frustrations just doesnāt occur to us any more. We give up on creating a life that is more meaningful and fulfilling and settle for what we have. We give up on ourselves and our ability to make things happen.
Yet part of us is unwilling to settle ā the part that wakes up in the middle of the night worrying but also contemplating the things that matter most to us: What am I doing here? What have I really accomplished? Why canāt I make better use of my time? What can I do to take better care of my family? When is it going to be my turn? Surely there must be more to life than all these worries and frustrations? Whatās the point?
Perhaps youāll be listening to music or watching a play or film ā for a time youāre lifted out of your busy life and moved to remember who you really are and what you want for yourself and those you love.
And then the music or the play is over and these important questions fade into the background, covered over by ritual doubts and fears. The day takes over, as it always does, and you donāt take the time to think about what you really want or how to make it happen if you did.
THE STRONGEST MOTIVATION FOR DOING BEST YEAR YET IS TO FIND THE WAY TO LIVE YOUR LIFE SO IT SHOWS WHAT REALLY MATTERS TO YOU ā SO YOU ARE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
Probably you, like many, get frustrated and say āIāve had enough!ā You set a goal and start to do something about making it happen, but then your drive fizzles out. Too often our most important goals are not set with the belief that they can really be achieved, so that before long we lose momentum. Weāve forgotten how to keep our attention on what weāve accomplished rather than on our failures and mistakes. We forget how to live our lives remembering what we do well, and therefore stop building confidence in ourselves and our ability to succeed.
We human beings have an enormous capacity to remember our failures while forgetting our successes. The memory of our failures causes us to lower our sights and lessen our opinion of ourselves. We become frozen in the shadow of our biggest problems and canāt turn around to face them. While in parts of our lives we may be strong and capable, we seem to lose potency in the face of those concerns that cause us the most pain.
Here are examples of the kind of problems Iām talking about ā many of them have been shared by clients and many Iāve faced myself:
ā¢ My relationship with my teenage son has gone astray: that brilliant, sparkling little man who used to run and jump on my lap and tell me everything seems lost to me. If Iād let myself think about it too long, I would weep.
ā¢ The success Iāve struggled towards for so long is here, but Iām working harder than ever and thereās no time to enjoy it. The days go by so quickly and Iām not making the best use of the time I have. The dream for which I sacrificed so much has dissolved.
ā¢ The body that used to bound up stairs and give me the energy to work and think for hours and hours seems to have run out of steam but thereās no time to get it back into shape ā probably too late anyway.
ā¢ I seem to spend most of my time at the office in meetings, handling last-minute emergencies or dealing with other peopleās problems. I can never seem to get around to sitting back from my job and thinking about the future and how weāre going to get ourselves out of some of these messes once and for all.
ā¢ I want to make my mark, I want my life to matter. How can I find more fulfilment in my job? Should I leave this job and find another one which gives me a better chance to do this? Why donāt I devote at least some of my time to causes I care about?
ā¢ I feel as if Iām chasing my tail most of the time. Thereās always a deadline to meet and itās always tomorrow. I know I should plan ahead and stop procrastinating as much as I do, but I donāt have time!
ā¢ Whatās wrong with me? Why isnāt there one person in the world to love me and share my life? I donāt want to be alone.
ā¢ I feel stuck in this job ā Iām going nowhere fast. They donāt realize how good I am and probably never will. But I really donāt know how to find something with a better future. I canāt figure out what to do, so I do nothing.
ā¢ Why canāt I find some time to āstop the musicā at least once a day to meditate and contemplate and let the noise of the TO DO list be silent for...
Table of contents
- Cover
- Title Page
- Dedication
- Contents
- Welcome
- Part One: Three Hours to Change Your Life
- Part Two: The Ten Best Year Yet Questions
- Part Three: The Best Year Yet Workshop
- Further Reading
- Testimonials
- Find Out More About Best Year Yet
- Acknowledgments
- Copyright
- About the Publisher