Answers
At Your Service, Master: The Apostrophe
Warm-up
1 A She didnât believe that heâd ever return to their houseâs fireside.
B He hadnât shown up since 1987. But if her mother said heâd turn up in two weeksâ time, sheâd probably be right.
2 A Come on Dover, move yer bloominâ arse!
B In âertford, âereford and âampshire, âurricanes âardly ever âappen.
Exercise 1
1 There is an iron âscoldâs bridleâ in Walton Church. They used these things in ancient days for curbing womenâs tongues. They have given up the attempt now. I suppose iron was getting scarce, and nothing else would be strong enough.
2 A It currently refers to the toys for one boy. They meant to say Boysâ toys.
B It currently refers to the toys for one girl. They meant to say Girlsâ toys.
C It currently refers to the toys for one kid. They meant to say Kidsâ DVDs.
3 It currently says âno one dog is allowedâ. (That is, a contraction rather than a plural.) They presumably meant to say âNo dogs allowed, pleaseâ.
4 A More than one newspaper has been ruined by the brilliant writer in the editorâs chair.
B A beginnerâs guide to catching up online.
C The ladsâ big night out went tits up. Their two minibusesâ exhausts were plugged by a hen party gone bad.
D Their horror storiesâ similarities were remarkable.
5 A âThere she goes,â he said, âthere she goes, with two poundsâ worth of food on board that belongs to me, and that I havenât had.â
B In two weeksâ time Iâll be drinking cold cider in Somerset, but Iâm giving my boss not one sodding dayâs notice.
6 A A womanâs work is never done.
B Letâs have a drink for old timesâ sake. (âTimesâ are plural here, hence the placement of the apostrophe.)
C Hurry up, for Peteâs sake!
7 A The last moon landing was in the winter of â72, the year I was born.
B My mum wore miniskirts in the â60s; did yours?
C I was in the class of â92. It was a bigâ
The apostrophe is especially valuable in the last example; here it acts both to contract the date and to clarify the class size.
8 âItâsâ and âitsâ are simple really; the confusion has only come about because everyone else keeps getting it wrong.
A Itâs not over âtil the fat lady sings.
B The dog has had its day.
C Itâs a Wonderful Life.
D Any colour â so long as itâs black.
E The yard was so dark that even Scrooge, who knew its every stone, was fain to grope with his hands.
9 Wouldâve, couldâve, shouldâve. The bottom line is we didnât do it.
10 Lipsmackinâ thirstquenchinâ acetastinâ motivatinâ goodbuzzinâ cooltalkinâ highwalkinâ fastlivinâ evergivinâ coolfizzinâ Pepsi!
11 Author Michael Faber used the following apostrophes to indicate his characterâs Cockney accent:
âImagine though,â says Caroline. âA picture of you still beinâ there, âundreds of years after youâve died. Anâ if I pulled a face, thatâs the face Iâd âave forever⌠It makes me shiver, it does.â
12 A Scarlett OâHara knew there were four iâs in Mississippi.
B Mr OâMalley had lost all the aâs and uâs from his Scrabble set.
C Miss OâReilly told me to change all my essayâs Hiâs into Helloâs.
Exercise 2
1 C: Chris Evansâs autobiography will have caused a few blushes.
2 B: Unsurpassed yet often variable; one way to describe Dickensâs writings.
3 B: I loved E. Annie Proulxâs The Shipping News.
4 C and B: Gabriel GarcĂa MĂĄrquezâs One Hundred Years of Solitude has been read from Landâs End to John oâ Groats.
5 The Queenâs never been to Queensâ College Cambridge, but did you say youâre pretty sure sheâs been to Queenâs College Oxford?
6 A I was supposed to be in St Albans, Vermont, for their All Saintsâ Day service. It was just about Veterans Day before I damn well got there!
B Iâve never liked April Foolsâ Day; a practical jokeâs not everyoneâs cup of tea, is it?
7 A: Jesus Cristiano Cervantes was an overweight plumber from Mexico City. Because he was an atheist, Jesusâs first name had always been an embarrassment.
8 A Of Jesusâ disciples, I think Thomas was probably th...